9161 Funny humor quotes

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  5 months ago

  View →: I’ve never really had a beach body, but my snowman body is coming along quite nicely.
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  5 months ago

  View →: They say the human body is 60% water, but after extensive observation of my husband and son, I’d like to submit a revision to the data. Those two are at least 50% wind.
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  5 months ago

  View →: My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
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  5 months ago

  View →: I get shy when my man stares at me for too long because what if he’s realizing I’m actually a lil ugly.
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  5 months ago

  View →: I love wearing sunglasses. Am I looking at your face? Am I looking at your ass? No one knows.
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  5 months ago

  View →: I wonder if it’s possible to swim from one end to the other in a pool filled with mashed potatoes.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Diet day #1: All the unhealthy food has been removed from the house. It was delicious.
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  5 months ago

  View →: My dogs have learned that whenever they hear the f-word in the kitchen, there’s now food on the floor.
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  5 months ago

  View →: If you make it through life without being portrayed in a murder documentary, take the win.
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  5 months ago

  View →: I never get as envious of parents as I do when their baby starts crying and they get to leave the event.
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  5 months ago

  View →: I don’t mean to brag, but I put together a puzzle in 1 day and the box said 2-4 years.

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