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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

Girls with long hair will literally leave little traces of themselves wherever they go, like feathers falling from an angel’s wings.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

My goal for this year is just to make sure the aliens know I’m on their side.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

My favorite part of football is when they feed the players water like they’re hamsters.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

I didn’t like my beard at first… then it grew on me.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

Sorry to interrupt your scrolling, but I hope life gets better for you.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

We are talking about how beautiful and cool you are behind your back.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

My 3 weeks without sweets were over after 12 hours. Proof that time runs faster with increasing age.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

Due to inflation, alien abduction no longer comes with free probes. Humans are required to bring their own probes or may purchase a probe on board the spacecraft for a moderate fee.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

My super talent is hitting every red light on the way to wherever the hell I’m going.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

Due to unforeskin circumcistances …

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,615

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Reddit:

I’m glad nobody can see the face I make when I’ve just started the washing machine and then spot a sock on the floor.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

The word ‘stan’ comes from the Eminem song “Stan” which is about one of his obsessed fans. What if Eminem named the fan ‘Dennis’? We could be saying, “I dennis Beyonce.”

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Ugh, those red and blue flashing lights are interfering with my driving and scrolling.

Live now on LinkedIn:

The shrooms told me that we need to get our shit together. That humanity is a bundle of bad habits. I’m headed back in a few weeks, and they need a response from us. What do I tell them?

Trending via Reddit:

Okay, this integrity isn’t going to compromise itself.

Just landed via Twitch:

You have never experienced true fear until a poster falls off the wall in the middle of the night.

Going bananas on Telegram:

I can’t explain it, but I am very bold and very shy at the same time.

Live now on Reddit:

Before social media, you could just completely forget that somebody existed. Good times.

Making waves on YouTube:

Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops.

Spotted on Instagram:

How dare my boss set up a meeting for the time I sneak off early?

Funny jewelry quotes

Funny jewelry quotes sparkle with wit and charm, adding a touch of sparkle to your day ✨💍 Whether you love bling or just enjoy a clever twist on gems, these cheeky sayings shine bright like your favorite accessories 😄💎 Ready to sparkle with laughter? Let’s dive into the dazzling world where humor meets sparkle! 🎉💖

New funny jewelry quotes 👇

Forgetting to put jewelry and perfume on is literally the worst feeling.

0

2 months ago

accessory, beauty, care, daily, daily routine, fashion, feeling, forgetting, humor, jewelry, literally, perfume, personal, personal care, put, routine, worst
Just saw a piece of jewelry made in the 80s described as “vintage,” so I’ll be laying down the rest of the day.

0

2 months ago

80s, day, humor, jewelry, just, laying, piece, rest, sarcasm, saw, vintage
Losing jewelry is a different type of hurt.

0

2 months ago

different, humor, hurt, jewelry, losing, loss, pain, relationship, sentiment, type
Jewelry stores should just be like: Whether you’re trying to be nice or trying to get laid, we got you covered.

0

2 months ago

dating, gifts, humor, jewelry, just, laid, nice, relationships, romance, shopping, should, stores, trying
Perfume and jewelry are two things you can never go wrong with gifting me.

0

3 months ago

gift, gift idea, gifting, humor, idea, jewelry, me, never, perfume, present, things, wrong
I think there’s a size limit on engagement rings before they look tacky, to me.

0

5 months ago

before, engagement, engagement ring, humor, i, jewelry, limit, me, opinion, ring, rings, size, size limit, tacky, think

All funny jewelry quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

52 shares on Threads this month:

By day I am just a regular loser, by night I am the same loser only it’s nighttime.

96 shares on Facebook this month:

I hope the ghost of Michael Jackson Hee-Hee’s in your ear while you tryna sleep.

76 shares on X this month:

Instagram should let you extend the run of one story for another 24 hours if the intended target didn’t see it.

97 shares on Slack this month:

By the power vested in me by Facebook, I now pronounce you unfriended and restricted. You may now kiss my butt.

51 shares on Messenger this month:

“You let your cat on the bed?” I would put her on my life insurance.

85 shares on Telegram this month:

There are two types of people: those who are clueless about their kids’ schedules and the other who plan it down to the minute. And they end up marrying each other.

62 shares on YouTube this month:

Spotify has got it all wrong, the hottest single of the year is me.

77 shares on Snapchat this month:

Through repetition and sheer will I’ve mastered gracefully falling on my head.

91 shares on Facebook this month:

Uber sends notifications like “Hey, want to take an Uber right now?” No thanks, buddy. It’s more for when I need to go somewhere.

10 shares on WeChat this month:

Working with children gives you so much in return. Lice, for example.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Sharpening a pencil at the bin was the childhood equivalent of taking a cigarette break.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Banks: You are broke, so we are going to charge you for being broke.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Anyone know how to grow a money tree?

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Can’t be sexting when you’re somewhat articulate. You just sound like a vampire.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I just want someone who can read a book with me in silence, and then do ungodly things sometimes.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

WhatsApp needs to remove that “this message was deleted” notification. It’s unnecessary drama.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

If swimming is such good exercise, explain whales.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Congrats to my tween for graduating at the top of his class from eye roll university.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Them: I haven’t seen you in a long time. Me: You’re welcome.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

In my defense, Your Honor, I grossly misunderstood the meaning of Boxing Day.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,264

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

The sexiest thing a man can do is have a problem-solving mentality.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

Welcome to your 40s: here’s an extra chin.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

I told my GPS I needed direction in life, and now it insists on recalculating every hour.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

English is so fake. How can you drink a drink, but you can’t food a food?

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

My hobbies include going home, wishing I was at home, and being at home.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

I used to schedule naps, but now they’re little surprise parties my body throws at all hours of the day.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

I thought my wrinkles were finally getting smaller, but it turns out my eyes were just getting worse.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

They should remove the sex scenes from movies and then put them all into one big super sex scene movie they can show in theaters at the end of the year.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

Praying to God with a Chinese accent, and he is cracking up.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

When the past calls, don’t answer it. It has nothing new to tell you.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Twitch:

Old age is always 15 years older than I am.

Trending via Telegram:

Hi, I’m online. Would you like to argue for an hour about whether a hotdog is a sandwich?

Live now on WeChat:

Geometry is a scam. What do you mean “prove it’s a triangle”? Just look at it.

Shared recently on Instagram:

All soups are gazpacho if you’re lazy enough.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I’m so vulnerable to nostalgia. The sun will go down and I’ll be like: “Wow… remember when the sun was up… I miss who I was then”

Spreading quickly via X:

Turns out I am the autistic one at “movie night,” who thought you’re supposed to actually watch the movie.

Going bananas on TikTok:

It must be hard for a vampire to floss their fangs when they can’t see their reflection in a mirror.

Just landed via X:

I don’t want your hoodie, I want your still-beating heart presented to me in a box.

Shared recently on X:

How do I gracefully leave this party early but also take the queso dip with me?

Seen just now on Telegram:

If you think I’m annoying, give it some time. You’ll know for sure pretty soon.

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