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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

I’m not accepting the bare minimum; I need you to shake it to the max.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

“I’m so grateful that so many things are none of my business.”

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

Money enters like Beyoncé and exits like Britney.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

I can easily spot a wolf in sheep’s clothing but this guy was dressed like my grandmother which threw me off.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

You see how in cartoons, when they’re hungry, their friends start looking like a chicken leg? That’s how ovulation feels.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

You think you’re cool and then you see a video of yourself running.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

Harry Potter is sort of crazy. I would have never fought a war for my high school.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

I don’t understand the desire to rock climb. We have stairs for that now. Problem solved.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

A spoonful of peanut butter from the jar will fix me.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

I’m so introverted, I only listen to house music.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Jan 2, 2026

3,588

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Twitch:

Told my boss I was going to the bathroom but didn’t say which one. Now I’m at home.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Please help my husband and I decide on dinner. We’ve narrowed it down to “It doesn’t matter” and “It’s your turn to choose”.

Live now on Messenger:

I’m the only person breathing through my nose at this Walmart.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I’m sick of living through history!

Making waves on X:

The worst part of a fender bender is having to get out of your car and meet a new person.

Just shared via WeChat:

When you split a dessert, the waiter should bring two forks and one of those chess clocks you smack to let the other person know it’s their turn.

Just shared via Twitch:

I wish people had mute buttons in real life.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Until further notice the days of the week are now called thisday, thatday, otherday, someday, yesterday, today and nextday!

Going viral on Discord:

Let’s drink some whiskey and say too much.

Trending via Reddit:

Me, watching porn: they’re just going to let that pizza get cold?

Funny lift quotes

Funny lift quotes bring a burst of laughter to those brief elevator rides 🚀😂 Whether you’re stuck between floors or just looking to lighten the mood, these witty one-liners and clever sayings turn awkward silences into moments of joy 🎉🎈 Get ready to smile, giggle, and maybe even share a chuckle or two on your next lift journey! 🚪✨

New funny lift quotes 👇

How can people lift weights? My arms get tired just by putting my hair up in a ponytail.

0

2 months ago

arm, arms, exercise, fitness, hair, humor, just, lift, people, ponytail, putting, strength, struggle, tired, weightlifting, weights
Depression is embarrassing because sometimes it makes you miss appointments and not return phone calls, and when the fog starts to lift, you gotta do a whole bloody apology tour.

0

2 months ago

apology, appointment, appointments, call, calls, depression, embarrassing, embarrassment, fog, health, lift, mental, mental health, miss, phone, phone call, return, sometimes, tour, whole
Cheeseburgers should be free for anyone that’s in a bad mood.

0

2 months ago

anyone, bad, bad mood, cheeseburger, comfort, comfort food, food, food humor, free, humor, humor quote, lift, mood, mood lift, should, snack
Never eat more than you can lift.

0

2 months ago

advice, diet, eat, fitness, food, humor, lift
With no training whatsoever, I took out myself and the other two people exiting the ski lift in one fell swoop.

0

2 months ago

accident, fall, humor, i, lift, mishap, myself, people, self, ski, ski lift, skiing, training
If you lift the cat off the couch and it sounds like Velcro, then it didn’t want to leave.

0

2 months ago

behavior, cat, couch, humor, leave, lift, pet, pet behavior, Velcro, want
At the gym, everyone thinks exclusively about how little weight I can lift and how quickly I’m out of breath, because the world revolves around me.

0

2 months ago

around, breath, everyone, exercise, fitness, gym, humor, i, lift, little, me, revolve, self-centered, weight, world
I wonder if Van Halen realized they were writing music just to lift weights to.

0

2 months ago

exercise, halen, humor, i, just, lift, music, van, Van Halen, weights, wonder, workout, writing

All funny lift quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

46 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Cholesterol has a special place in my heart.

100 shares on Reddit this month:

Today, I’m wearing pink to raise awareness for people like me who forget to separate their red laundry from their whites.

78 shares on Messenger this month:

Sorry, can’t. I took my bra off and threw it across the room an hour ago. There’s no coming back from that.

70 shares on WhatsApp this month:

What a lot of people don’t understand about mountain climbing is: don’t do that!

43 shares on Twitch this month:

I used to think the cat was dumb for staring out the window, waiting for birds, but I’d probably stare too, if occasionally a pizza flew by.

62 shares on X this month:

Maturity is when you realize money can actually buy happiness.

74 shares on Pinterest this month:

My life is ruined. I wish to live no more. Never mind, I found the remote.

33 shares on Messenger this month:

Every laptop should have a “cat” button that disables the keyboard so they can nap.

53 shares on Reddit this month:

What did people do before eyeglasses, like half the world just walked around not being able to see?

44 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I really wish people would stop thinking they need to speak to me in the mornings.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Every night at bedtime I do one small ritual: six hours on my cell phone.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I need someone to look at me the way I look at memes.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m at my most math when I solve a problem while creating three new ones.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Why fall in love when you can fall asleep?

20 folks are currently checking 👀

You need a twins name suggestion? How about Kate and DupliKate?

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I never knew how fast I could write until the teacher said pencils down.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Some people come into your life to remind you why you don’t wanna let anyone into your life.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Did it hurt when you forgot your headphones and couldn’t romanticize your walk home?

11 folks are currently checking 👀

A moth flies into your face out of nowhere. You could ask him why he does that, but what would you do with the information?

11 folks are currently checking 👀

If she replies to your sarcasm with more sarcasm, that’s a whole life.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,338

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

I think I look pretty okay for my age. It’s just when I hold menus two feet from my face that I know the ruse is up.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

Last year I had no valentine, this year I also have no valentine. Consistency!

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

Your boos don’t mean anything to me. I’ve seen what you people cheer for!

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

Being abducted by aliens could be just the vacation I need right now.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

Being the introverted hopeless romantic with a high sex drive is a curse.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

I enjoy long walks in the woods, but only because there’s a chance I’ll get eaten by a bear.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

Seriously, how sexy was Freud’s mom?

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

Started from the bottom, now we a little bit above the bottom.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

The place where you pour in the gas is the car’s gasshole.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

Never quit, unless it’s too hard.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

You can have glossy lips or you can have a cat. You can’t have both.

Just shared via Pinterest:

When you tickle a man to death by accident, it is manslaughter.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Reading for pleasure implies the existence of reading for pain. They’re calling it a PhD.

Just shared via TikTok:

Not gonna lie, to this day, I don’t know the difference between gray and grey, I just wing it.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Why can’t hackers just delete everyone’s bad debt, credit, and mortgages?

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

I get it cicadas, I’m ready to scream for six weeks too.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Being annoying is the most beautiful thing a woman could be.

Just landed via WeChat:

The theory that two stacked beds can’t be converted into two regular beds has been debunked.

Just shared via Snapchat:

They monitor me harder than Britney Spears around here.

Just shared via Messenger:

You’re in his DMs, I’m outside his window with a JBL speaker streaming Taylor Swift.

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