Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

Sometimes being on your phone all day is your destiny.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

My body looks like I have a great personality.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

I had zero respect for my boss until he started appearing exclusively by hologram.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

Are you ever so happy to be in bed, you wish you could be even more in bed than you already are?

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

Sometimes a little rudeness to establish that you don’t fancy nonsense is really important.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

Imagine you blocked me, and I crawled out from under your couch to ask why.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

Every man learns for himself the uselessness of owning an iPad.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

I trust an insult more than I do a compliment.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

Saying “essentially” is a more sophisticated way of saying “basically.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

I’m a little too self-aware to enjoy life, and a little too delusional to give up.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,496

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Messenger:

It was the worst of times, it was the worst of times.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

90% of the ocean is unexplored, which means there could be a McDonald’s down there.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Apparently, responding to a wedding invitation with “maybe next time” is wrong. I know that now.

Breaking via Threads:

A swear jar for Twitter would end world hunger.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

I’ve never seen anything sadder than me in a black cape under the salon lights with wet hair parted incorrectly by a solid inch.

Going bananas on Instagram:

The agony of thinking you’re finished doing the dishes, only to turn around and, to your horror, the pot.

Making waves on X:

Babe, are you OK? It’s already Q4, and you’ve barely touched your “2025 roadmap.”

Shared recently on WeChat:

Your Honor, that doesn’t sound like me.

Spotted on Slack:

I want a girlfriend so hot that people walking down the street know that I am funny.

Going viral on Pinterest:

This bouncer’s lucky I’m with my lady and physically frightened of him or he’d be in a world of pain.

Funny medical humor quotes

Funny medical humor quotes bring a dose of laughter to the world of healthcare 🩺😂 Whether you’re a doctor, nurse, or just someone who loves witty twists on medicine, these clever lines will have you giggling through the aches and pains 💉😆 Get ready to smile and share some lighthearted relief that proves laughter truly is the best medicine! 🩹🤣

New funny medical humor quotes 👇

It was a complicated 17-hour surgery, but they finally managed to separate the art from the artist.

0

2 months ago

art, artist, complicated, humor, medical, medical humor, separation, surgery
Is ChatGPT down for anyone else? I’m a cardiac surgeon in the middle of heart surgery.

0

2 months ago

anyone, ChatGPT, else, heart, heart surgery, humor, issue, medical, medical humor, middle, online, online outage, outage, surgeon, surgery, technical, technical issue, technology, technology humor
If you think my posts are horrid, wait until you see the live stream of my colonoscopy.

0

2 months ago

awkward, colonoscopy, embarrassment, humor, live, live stream, medical, medical humor, posts, self-deprecating, stream, think, unexpected, wait
If I’m ever on life support, unplug me, then plug me back in. See if that works.

0

2 months ago

back, dark, dark humor, ever, humor, joke, life, life support, me, medical, medical humor, plug, resilience, sarcasm, support, unplug, works
Why are “hemorrhoids” not called “assteroids”?

0

2 months ago

assteroid, hemorrhoid, humor, joke, medical, medical humor, medical joke, play, play on words, pun, why, wordplay, words
At the plastic surgeon: Please, Doc, help me. My Barbie doll has appendicitis.

0

2 months ago

appendicitis, Barbie, Barbie doll, Doc, doll, help, humor, joke, me, medical, medical humor, plastic, plastic surgeon, plastic surgery, please, surgeon, surgery, toy
My favorite game is guessing if my headache is due to dehydration, migraine, malnutrition, stress, lack of sleep, poor posture, or a brain tumor.

0

2 months ago

brain, concern, dehydration, due, favorite, game, guessing, headache, health, health concern, humor, lack, malnutrition, medical, medical humor, migraine, poor, posture, sleep, stress
Do not take me to an escape room. I was a c-section. Someone is gonna have to come get me.

0

2 months ago

c-section, clever, clever wordplay, escape, escape room, humor, i, joke, me, medical, medical humor, rescue, room, someone, take, wordplay
My eye doctor is alarmingly young and when he said he thought I had a chalazion or a hordoleum, I thought he might be referencing Pokémon.

0

2 months ago

chalazion, doctor, eye, eye doctor, eye health, health, hordoleum, humor, medical, medical humor, Pokémon, young, young doctor

All funny medical humor quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

65 shares on Reddit this month:

I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.

95 shares on YouTube this month:

No, I wasn’t dancing. I got harassed by a bumble bee.

17 shares on Telegram this month:

Just spent a couple seconds concerned about the sounds my stomach was making before realizing it was a motorcycle outside.

84 shares on Messenger this month:

No wine. No peace. Know wine. Know peace.

89 shares on Reddit this month:

What are some beginner pieces of information for somebody just getting into knowledge?

45 shares on Messenger this month:

Are they honking at me because I’m cute or because I can’t drive.

99 shares on Telegram this month:

For someone who loves to sleep so much, you’d think I’d go to bed earlier.

38 shares on Discord this month:

The purpose of life is to go insane sooner or later.

95 shares on Discord this month:

Doomscrolling: because who doesn’t love anxiety as a hobby?

33 shares on Instagram this month:

If you ever need me, I’m always just a couple missed calls and text messages away.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing worse than when I turn up to Park Run to find it is indeed going ahead.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

So many people these days are too judgmental. I can tell just by looking at them.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Unfair that the older I get, the clearer photo quality gets.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

That awesome moment when you open the fridge and the first thing you see is the thing you wanted to eat.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

When physical labor became optional, we invented the gym. We’ll need the same thing for the mind.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

This tape doesn’t even taste like scotch.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Dear phone, if you didn’t light up so many times to tell me you had a low battery, you wouldn’t have died so quickly!

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I bet the inventor of the cannon would be relieved to know that they’re mostly about t-shirts now.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I made some bad choices in life, but I never bought a pair of Crocs.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,470

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

How did they get kids to pose for oil paintings? Mine won’t sit still for 4 seconds for a family photo.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

I really want an emotional support octopus so I can train it to slap people and shoplift.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

I prefer to use deodorant immediately after shaving my armpits so that I can feel that I’m still alive.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

I remember when my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? And I told him everyone knows he doesn’t hire stupid people.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

You don’t even have to date, by the way. You can just take a break from love and then randomly meet the actual love of your life somewhere you weren’t even supposed to be.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

I was at a funeral yesterday and spiced things up by walking over to complete strangers and saying “Ignore what everyone else thinks. I, personally, have no issue with you being here”.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

I hate how what would have been a parody is now reality.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

Got a new high score on my bathroom scale.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

I’ve been blocked, unfollowed, and unfriended, but I’ve never been told I’m bad in bed.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

I’m having a bad day. Please send super-cute pics of your credit cards to cheer me up.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

Our pronunciation of the word “colonel” does feel like group psychosis.

Shared recently on Threads:

Just because you are unique, doesn’t mean you are useful.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Writing ‘thanks.’ instead of ‘thanks!’ so you know I’m mad.

Going bananas on Facebook:

And for my next trick, I’ll set your soul on fire.

Just landed via Messenger:

Sitting on the middle seat of this flight and both my seatmates are reading my book over my shoulder. Should I just start reading it aloud?

Spotted on Twitch:

Coffee: Because without it I would be a serious danger to society.

Making waves on Telegram:

I didn’t lose a girlfriend, I gained an enemy.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Bad news. Right now is as young as you’re going to be.

Making waves on Discord:

I’m not even doomscrolling anymore; I’m just regular scrolling, and everything’s doomed.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

You don’t have to write every day to be a writer! You just have to feel guilty every day that you don’t.

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Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴