Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

I don’t know why hair extensions are exclusive to women, I want to look like a centaur.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

I’ve never been to hell, but I once forgot to buy batteries for the toys on Christmas morning. The sound is still ringing in my ears.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

I keep forgetting i’m at the age where people will tell me they’re pregnant and my reaction is supposed to be positive.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

To be blocked is to be seen and to be seen is to be loved.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

Cats spend two-thirds of their lives sleeping, and the other third making viral videos.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

Adults should not be twins. Being twins is for children.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

Can we normalize arguing with little kids? They’re so rude.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

It’s okay to feed your car a curb, as a little treat sometimes.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

My child had pancakes and syrup for breakfast so I guess I’ll be sticking to my furniture for the next week.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

The feelings I have for Tom Cruise are the closest approximation I have to what patriotism must feel like.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,677

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on X:

Potatoes make French fries, chips and vodka. It’s like the other vegetables aren’t even trying.

Freshly posted on X:

My boyfriend is mad at me because I keep replying with a fire extinguisher emoji to every girl that comments with a flame emoji on his pictures.

Making waves on Discord:

People with ADHD be like “I can’t fry an egg, I got too much going on”.

Spotted on TikTok:

I don’t get mad anymore. I’m just like “again?” Ok then.

Going bananas on Threads:

Am I just getting older, or are people getting more annoying?

Going viral on Reddit:

I always tell my kids that it’s okay to make mistakes just as long as you learn how to blame them on other people.

Going viral on Slack:

Imagine thinking you have any clue what’s going on.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Gutted to report that spending a day offline, touching grass with my friends, was phenomenal for my mental health.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

It’s funny how quickly you become difficult if you don’t always just say “yes”.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Husband said he only wants to allow our kids to watch Looney Tunes and nothing else because of the “moral lessons”.

Funny medical humor quotes

Funny medical humor quotes bring a dose of laughter to the world of healthcare 🩺😂 Whether you’re a doctor, nurse, or just someone who loves witty twists on medicine, these clever lines will have you giggling through the aches and pains 💉😆 Get ready to smile and share some lighthearted relief that proves laughter truly is the best medicine! 🩹🤣

New funny medical humor quotes 👇

It was a complicated 17-hour surgery, but they finally managed to separate the art from the artist.

0

2 months ago

art, artist, complicated, humor, medical, medical humor, separation, surgery
Is ChatGPT down for anyone else? I’m a cardiac surgeon in the middle of heart surgery.

0

2 months ago

anyone, ChatGPT, else, heart, heart surgery, humor, issue, medical, medical humor, middle, online, online outage, outage, surgeon, surgery, technical, technical issue, technology, technology humor
If you think my posts are horrid, wait until you see the live stream of my colonoscopy.

0

2 months ago

awkward, colonoscopy, embarrassment, humor, live, live stream, medical, medical humor, posts, self-deprecating, stream, think, unexpected, wait
If I’m ever on life support, unplug me, then plug me back in. See if that works.

0

2 months ago

back, dark, dark humor, ever, humor, joke, life, life support, me, medical, medical humor, plug, resilience, sarcasm, support, unplug, works
Why are “hemorrhoids” not called “assteroids”?

0

2 months ago

assteroid, hemorrhoid, humor, joke, medical, medical humor, medical joke, play, play on words, pun, why, wordplay, words
At the plastic surgeon: Please, Doc, help me. My Barbie doll has appendicitis.

0

2 months ago

appendicitis, Barbie, Barbie doll, Doc, doll, help, humor, joke, me, medical, medical humor, plastic, plastic surgeon, plastic surgery, please, surgeon, surgery, toy
My favorite game is guessing if my headache is due to dehydration, migraine, malnutrition, stress, lack of sleep, poor posture, or a brain tumor.

0

2 months ago

brain, concern, dehydration, due, favorite, game, guessing, headache, health, health concern, humor, lack, malnutrition, medical, medical humor, migraine, poor, posture, sleep, stress
Do not take me to an escape room. I was a c-section. Someone is gonna have to come get me.

0

2 months ago

c-section, clever, clever wordplay, escape, escape room, humor, i, joke, me, medical, medical humor, rescue, room, someone, take, wordplay
My eye doctor is alarmingly young and when he said he thought I had a chalazion or a hordoleum, I thought he might be referencing Pokémon.

0

2 months ago

chalazion, doctor, eye, eye doctor, eye health, health, hordoleum, humor, medical, medical humor, Pokémon, young, young doctor

All funny medical humor quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

43 shares on TikTok this month:

Everything is about sex except Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving is about power.

53 shares on Facebook this month:

Donuts are beautiful creatures, and they deserve their own week on the nature channels.

39 shares on Twitch this month:

I may not know what’s going on, but I also have no idea what’s happening.

28 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Can we talk about what little red riding hoods actual grandma must have looked like?

92 shares on Messenger this month:

To be fair, a dumpster is like one of the safest places to have a fire.

93 shares on Facebook this month:

Drugs and alcohol take years off your life and give them to Keith Richards.

70 shares on Facebook this month:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just sitting on the couch googling if penguins have knees.

63 shares on Threads this month:

How many times does one have to open the fridge door before cake appears inside?

100 shares on Telegram this month:

If you think I’m rude, you should hear the voices in my head.

86 shares on Pinterest this month:

The only reason I insist on returning to the office is because my cat needs a break from me staring at him all day.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s a good thing when your therapist sits down with a bucket of popcorn, right?

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Why does the weekend always feel like it lasts five minutes?

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Roses are red. I’m going to bed.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

One day you’re 18 eating pizza for every lunch, then suddenly you’re 30 and eating salad with celery and kale juice.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Teens be like, “You know that crumbled up piece of paper that’s been on the table all week? I need it for school.”

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Perhaps the best thing about getting older is that I no longer want to know everything.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Date idea: We watch Breaking Bad and break your bed.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m about to start telling people, “As long as that makes sense to you,” when they say shit that doesn’t make sense to me.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

My bra isn’t just padded — it’s also filled with cookie and chip crumbs.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

To be gentle in this world is an act of rebellion.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,260

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

A friend’s boyfriend is not my friend… that is a coworker, at best.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

Most people have 32 teeth. Some have 10. Simple meth.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

The best part about NYC is you literally see a brand new, hottest woman in your entire life every single day.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

The Bible is 100% accurate when thrown at close range.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

I don’t have kids or a dog. What can I bring into a bar that will make everyone mad?

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

When you have bad handwriting, notes to yourself are just fun little riddles you get to solve later.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

Sometimes somebody will share something from way back in my timeline, and I’ll think, “Oh God, what all did they see to get there?”

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

I hate when I turn my car on in the morning and the music starts blasting, and I am like, “Whoooah, big fella, I’m not the same person I was last night.”

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

As an outsider, what’s your view on intelligence?

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

Opposites often not only attract each other, they often also undress each other.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Threads:

Not my room, not my elephant.

Going viral on Twitch:

If people love cheese so much, why are they mad when someone smells like cheese.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

How long do you actually have to wear a muscle shirt until you get muscles?

Making waves on LinkedIn:

No plans and no pants kind of day.

Just landed via X:

There are only two portion sizes for mashed potatoes: nowhere near enough (posh restaurants) or far, far too much (literally everyone else).

Shared recently on Reddit:

A chocolate advent calendar is a test of restraint that I simply do not have.

Just shared via Facebook:

I love when people find out I meant every word I said.

Going bananas on Slack:

It’s all fun and games until your jeans don’t fit any more.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

I don’t have any generational wealth but I did inherit a great spaghetti sauce recipe.

Making waves on Discord:

“Can you explain the gap in your resume?” I went missing in a national park.

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Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴