Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

Diarrhea awareness week starts today. Runs through Sunday.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

I might start telling people I’m 10 years older than I actually am just so they can tell me how great I look for my age.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

I would flirt with you, but I’d rather seduce you with my awkwardness.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

My dogs have learned that whenever they hear the f-word in the kitchen, there’s now food on the floor.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

Legend says that when you’re overwhelmed and on the edge of a nervous breakdown, a small child will appear and tell you that you made their sandwich wrong.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

Light is faster than sound. That’s why people seem so bright until you hear them talk.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

People be like “I love your energy” – then drain it.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

I’m proud of myself because, despite having so many expenses, I still manage to add more.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

Why does everyone force introverts to leave their comfort zone, but no one forces extroverts to shut up for a while?

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

I read classics because my FOMO is making me want to understand every reference ever.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,717

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Threads:

I love chatty cats like, yeah, bro, meow meow, you’re so right.

Going bananas on Discord:

“Would you like to check your account balance?” God no. My balance is none of my business.

Trending via Messenger:

A dating app to meet other people with low IQ called OK Stupid.

Just landed via Messenger:

HR has told me to stop saying ‘How stupid can you be?’ to members of staff. They’re worried it’s being taken as a challenge.

Just landed via Instagram:

I can’t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life, or they are living it to the fullest.

Just landed via Instagram:

Congratulations on getting to the red light first. You’re special.

Just shared via Facebook:

Can everyone log off? I need some time alone right now.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

I make sure to post my political opinions after my selfies have gone viral to cull the herd.

Trending via Pinterest:

How do I tell someone respectfully to die in a fire?

Just shared via Twitch:

Teach a man to fish, and he will eat for a lifetime. Teach your kid about stingrays, and he will pretend to sting you all afternoon.

219 Funny online quotes

More funny online quotes 👇

For even more funny online quotes, hit next 👇

All funny online quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

35 shares on Facebook this month:

How was the word “Wife” invented? They took the first two and last two letters of wildlife.

62 shares on Pinterest this month:

I once quit a job, and when my boss asked why, I simply said, “I hate it here.” Best day of my life.

10 shares on Snapchat this month:

Let me help you turn that software into hardware.

56 shares on Telegram this month:

Every gift guide for men is like “A flannel flask to hold your knife flavored whiskey.”

87 shares on Messenger this month:

When the Beatles say, “Come together, right now, over me,” what was that about? Why did they say that?

69 shares on Pinterest this month:

US etiquette question: Do you need to tip the guy at the border who reads your last five years of social media history?

10 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Every time I ask my husband to bring me something out of my purse, without a doubt, he’ll bring me my whole purse. Why are purses so scary to men, lol.

34 shares on Pinterest this month:

It’s almost time to put winter tires on the struggle bus.

35 shares on Discord this month:

The purpose of life is to go insane sooner or later.

54 shares on YouTube this month:

I hate how what would have been a parody is now reality.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Had some plain yogurt with protein powder in it for breakfast, and not only is it high in protein and very filling, it’s also disgusting.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s no need to put a little umbrella in my drink. It’s already wet.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I got my patience from waiting half the day to download a song from Limewire.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m gonna start telling men I know a spot and it’s just me dropping them off at therapy.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Perks of being ugly: phone battery lasts longer.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Never wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I used to have this mental illness, where I thought logical arguments would change someone’s mind.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Naps are tricky. Either you wake up relaxed and refreshed, or you have a headache, a dry throat and no idea what year it is.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I want to save money, but all I’m saving are memes.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I watch “Law and Order” so much that when I turn off the TV, I wipe my fingerprints off the remote.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

4,030

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

Doomscrolling: because who doesn’t love anxiety as a hobby?

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

The worst thing you can do when cleaning your house is “sit down for a minute.”

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

If you ever need nothing, I’m here for you.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

Tidying up usually ends up with you sitting somewhere and playing around with things you found while tidying up.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

Sex is cool, but have you ever made peace with the horror of being alive.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

It’s lowkey nothing else to do except become a better version of yourself, lol.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

It’s getting very expensive to be alive.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

The only thing keeping me from world domination is a good nap.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

It’s so hot, I just saw a squirrel fanning its nuts.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

I think you are suffering from a lack of vitamin ME.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

Everyone’s an expert after the fact.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Age is just a number… that now takes a really long time to scroll to.

Making waves on Slack:

Mama didn’t raise no fool, I turned into one all on my own.

Just shared via YouTube:

Tested positive for needing a kiss.

Live now on YouTube:

Taylor Swift’s most unrealistic lyric is “he’d never tell you, but he can play guitar”, because I’ve never met a man who can play guitar that isn’t gonna tell you about it.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I no longer need an alarm clock because I’m over 40 and have a bladder.

Just landed via Messenger:

The worst thing about being an adult is that you have to be one every single day.

Just landed via Threads:

Explaining myself is too much work, just judge me.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

“Easy like Sunday morning” is something people with no kids say.

Just shared via Instagram:

If you think I’m funny, you should hear the voices in my head.

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴