I don't want to brag but I found a recipe online, and then within three weeks not only made the recipe, but closed the tab on my browser.

I don’t want to brag but I found a recipe online, and then within three weeks not only made the recipe, but closed the tab on my browser.

Commentary:
"Breaking news: Cooking wizardry achieved! 🧙‍♂️💥 Closing that tab like a boss, because who needs recipes taking up precious browser real estate? 😜 #KitchenPro #MissionAccomplished"

I can't stand when people need constant validation online. Like, comment, and share if you agree.

I can’t stand when people need constant validation online. Like, comment, and share if you agree.

Commentary:
"Who knew the 'like' button had such power over our self-worth? 😂👍 Don't worry, you're validated just by being your fabulous self! 💁‍♂️ #confidenceiskey"

First responders? You mean reply guys?

First responders? You mean reply guys?

Commentary:
"First responders? More like 'reply guys,' always coming in hot with their unsolicited advice and opinions! 🚑💬 #FunnyButTrue"

Welcome to Twitter, where everyone is an expert on everything.

Welcome to Twitter, where everyone is an expert on everything.

Commentary:
"Ah, Twitter – the magical land where folks turn into all-knowing geniuses in 280 characters or less! 🧙‍♂️💡 Just remember, on this platform, even a cat could be considered a leading authority on quantum physics. 🐱🔬 #ExpertsEverywhere"

Social media may have been a mistake.

Social media may have been a mistake.

Commentary:
"Who knew that 'liking' could be so exhausting? 🤳😅 Social media: the only place where it's acceptable to talk to a wall, but it's still considered socializing. 🧱😂 #Oops #MistakesWereMade"

When two people argue online I believe whoever spells correctly.

When two people argue online I believe whoever spells correctly.

Commentary:
"Ah, the ultimate showdown of the spelling bees! 🐝🎤 Whoever spells correctly wins the online argument game! 🏆💻 Remember folks, in the realm of digital battles, autocorrect is not your friend! 🤪🔠 #SpellingMatters"

Twitter is basically a psychiatric ward where all the patients diagnose each other.

Twitter is basically a psychiatric ward where all the patients diagnose each other.

Commentary:
"Ah, Twitter, where everyone's a doctor, a patient, and the entire hospital staff all rolled into one 😅💬🏥 #TwitterPsychWard"

Have come to the devastating realization that I am an over-nodder on video calls.

Have come to the devastating realization that I am an over-nodder on video calls.

Commentary:
"Oh no, the over-nodder strikes again! 🤦‍♂️💻 Maybe it's time to cut back on the virtual agreeing and throw in some jazz hands instead. 🙌😂 Stay strong, friend, you're not alone in the land of excessive nodding!"

Waiting for the websites to start offering pizza instead of just cookies.

Waiting for the websites to start offering pizza instead of just cookies.

Commentary:
"Patience is a virtue, but so is hunger! 🍕🍪 Who needs cookies when you can have an entire pizza delivered at the click of a button? Let's hope the internet catches up to our cravings soon! 😂🤞"

Your annoying online persona has captured my heart.

Your annoying online persona has captured my heart.

Commentary:
"Ah, the irresistible allure of your virtual vexation! 💔🙄 Who knew that constant notifications and passive-aggressive commentary could be so endearing? Love in the digital age indeed! 😂💻 #OnlineCrush"