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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

Y’all can keep the nonchalant ones — I want mine weak in the knees about me.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

My life is just a series of awkward moments separated by snacks.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

Once you understand why pizza is made round, packed in square boxes, and eaten as a triangle, then you will understand women.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

Be the lemon you want the world to hand to others.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

Ah coffee. The sweet balm by which we shall accomplish today’s tasks.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

I’ve never been married, but I tell people I’m divorced so they won’t think something is wrong with me.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

We all just kind of accept it as normal that we have a meat tentacle living inside of our mouth.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

Laying in a hammock is essentially saying, “I hope there are no emergencies.”

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

Thank God I have a cat. Who else is gonna shit in this box I have?

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

Looking forward to another year of crushing reality and unfulfilled dreams.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

810 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,972

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,972

18 minutes ago

3,436

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

Doing all of this just to die in the end! LMAO!

Live now on X:

Donating blood today to make room for more food.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

There should be an Amazon driver at the Mall during the holidays so adults can sit on their lap and tell them what they want.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

The only reason I’d want to go to heaven is to complain to the manager.

Going viral on TikTok:

Should we all just give up and get really into drugs? Wait, this is literally what happened in the 60s. That just clicked for me.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Let’s hope those bridges you burn keep you warm at night.

Reported on Pinterest:

Wanted to report a YouTube video, but there is no option for “Cringe”, so I just picked “Terrorism”.

Just landed via Messenger:

I always say “morning” instead of “good morning”, because if it was a good morning, I’d still be asleep.

Reported on Discord:

Yes, I make bad decisions when I’m drunk. But I wouldn’t say that the decisions I make when I’m sober are any better.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

The only thing we need to bring back is duels.

Home » Funny Planned Quotes

Funny planned quotes

Funny planned quotes bring a hilarious twist to the idea of being prepared 🤓✨ Whether you’re a master of organized chaos or just winging it with style, these witty lines will have you laughing while you plan 🗂️🤣 Get ready to embrace the joy of perfectly plotted procrastination and clever strategies that don’t take themselves too seriously! 🎉📅

New funny planned quotes 👇

5 months ago
Share →: Turns out I like you a lot more than I originally planned.

Commentary:
Wow, looks like someone's unexpected feelings took a detour from the original itinerary! 🙈💕 Who knew detours could be so delightful? 😂 #UnexpectedLoveStops
6 months ago
Share →: Dear God, thank you for the job I have. But if you have a lottery win planned for me, I’m ready! Thank you.

Commentary:
"Dear God, thank you for the job, but just in case you're feeling extra generous… I'm here, waiting with open arms and a winning ticket 🙏🎉💸 #InGodWeTrustAndWin"
6 months ago
Share →: I am such a fun person and so easy to get along with as long as the layout I have secretly imagined for the entire day goes exactly as I planned it without variation or interruption.

Commentary:
"Being flexible is definitely my strong suit, just as long as everything goes exactly as I envisioned it in my mind palace with absolutely zero deviations… 😅🤷‍♂️ Who needs spontaneity when you've got a perfectly crafted blueprint, am I right?"
6 months ago
Share →: Sometimes when I’m having a particularly stressful day, I take a pregnancy test to remind myself that at least one thing in my life is still going as planned.

Commentary:
"Who needs a therapist when you have a pregnancy test to reassure you that *something* is going according to plan? 🙈🤰 #SilverLinings"
6 months ago
Share →: Any cults got something wild planned anytime soon? I’m trying to find the good estate sales.

Commentary:
"Looking for some killer deals, huh? Better watch out for those cults, they might have some 'killer' estate sales planned! 👀💰 Just make sure you don't accidentally sign up for their next pyramid scheme… or pyramid tomb? 🏛️😂 #EstateSaleGoals"
6 months ago
Share →: I made coffee and carried it to the couch. I’ve done everything I had planned for this Sunday.

Commentary:
"Ah, the joys of adulting – when making coffee and moving from the kitchen to the couch qualify as major achievements! 🤣☕️ It's all about setting realistic goals, right? #SundayVibes"
6 months ago
Share →: Just because your parents planned you doesn’t mean you weren’t a mistake.

Commentary:
"Ah, the age-old question: were we meticulously planned masterpieces, or just happy accidents? 🤔 Perhaps a little bit of both! Embrace your unique journey 💫👶 #HappyAccident"

For even more funny planned quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny planned quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

810 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,972

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,972

18 minutes ago

3,443

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

It’s romantic to fall in love during the collapse of society.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

Cheeseburgers should be free for anyone that’s in a bad mood.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

I threw a ball for my dog. May be a little extravagant, but he looks great in a tux.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

If you respond, “A reason for living,” when a store employee asks if they can help you find something, they will leave you alone.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

Today, I noticed that the cover of my ironing board was wrinkled, and I laughed at the irony. Then I laughed again because of the word “irony.”

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

You ask a girl if she ate, and she gon say, “Yeah, I had my coffee.”

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

Little kid on the plane to Boston says “do they speak English there?” and his mom says “kinda!”

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

Why spend like $300 Dollars on a pair of shoes? Do you know how many chicken nuggets you can buy with that money?

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

Please don’t buy my book on reverse psychology.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

You’d think someone in the room would’ve spoken up like “hey guys, maybe it’s a bad idea to make one ring to rule them all”.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on TikTok:

Frodo is a beautiful name for a boy. Has a ring to it.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Mail is crazy because it’s like 99 pieces of straight up garbage and 1 that if you don’t reply to you’re going to jail.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Calling it a situationship, and the whole time, the situation is that they don’t want you.

Just landed via Twitch:

Running feels great until you compare it to not running.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I thought there was a spider on the rug but it was just yarn. It’s dead yarn now though.

Trending via Messenger:

How did they call Deadpool’s dog ‘Dogpool’ when ‘Deadpoodle’ was right there?

Going viral on Reddit:

I’ll be home for Christmas, because that’s where I live.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Apparently I lack empathy, according to some stupid cow in HR.

Shared recently on Twitch:

If trees offered Wi-Fi, we would plant more of them. Too bad they only produce this oxygen thing.

Making waves on Messenger:

I’m growing a mullet so no one will want to hangout with me.

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