Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

I’ve reached the age where I would rather go to a hardware store than a club.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

Hit my coworker with “you’re a lucky man” after I saw a picture of his wife just to let him know that I want to sleep with her.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

Sorry, but if you’re walking slower than me on the sidewalk, you’re my enemy. Walking faster than me? Also my enemy. Now if you’re walking at the same speed as me… hmm, yeah, I’m thinking enemy.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

What are y’all gonna do when those labubus come to life and start biting y’alls ankles?

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

As someone who was born in August, I find the word leotard extremely offensive.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

It was me, I let the dogs out.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

Returning to Twitter is like coming back to a dysfunctional family.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

Telling an introvert to go to a party is like telling a saint to go to Hell.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

You can tell Monopoly is an old game because there’s a luxury tax, and rich people can go to jail.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

Hate it when my alarm goes off in the morning, and I’m still alive.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,625

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Reddit:

Don’t bother telling me where you’re from, I have no geographical knowledge and no sense of direction.

Making waves on Reddit:

Thanksgiving is just me trying to look cute while holding a fork like a medieval warrior.

Making waves on X:

Having a sunburn is so humiliating. Now everyone knows I was unprepared for the realities of the wilderness. It marks me as the weakest link. The hungry animals are closing in.

Spreading quickly via X:

My social circle is so small that when the phone rings, I know it’s scammers.

Just shared via WeChat:

I would like to be reincarnated as less tired.

Trending via Telegram:

Disliking me is valid. I probably confronted you on your poor behavior, while everyone else just accepted it.

Spotted on Messenger:

My self-care routine is mostly just going to Mexican restaurants.

Trending via WeChat:

Before I had kids I was only vaguely aware that Saturday had a 7am.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I may be a chaotic mess, but then so is quantum physics.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

“Don’t bring a knife to a gun fight!” Okay, then explain bayonets to me.

Funny separation quotes

Funny separation quotes bring laughter to life’s awkward goodbyes and fresh starts 😂✨ Whether you’re moving on, moving out, or just need a lighthearted take on parting ways, these witty gems will brighten your day and ease the sting 💔➡️💃 Get ready to smile through the splits and find humor in the chaos of saying goodbye! 😄🎉

New funny separation quotes 👇

All funny separation quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

13 shares on YouTube this month:

Nobody views your story faster than someone who doesn’t talk to you.

30 shares on Pinterest this month:

I never wanted to become one of those adults who just find the music of the younger generation annoying. Nobody could have guessed that the music was just annoying.

89 shares on TikTok this month:

My brain has too many tabs open and one of them is playing music I can’t find.

98 shares on Facebook this month:

If you don’t laugh at my jokes then I will.

61 shares on Facebook this month:

Two people had sex and now I’m fighting for my life everyday.

31 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Sometimes, before bedtime, I fall asleep on the couch. It’s my little sleep appetizer… my nappetizer.

65 shares on Twitch this month:

When butterflies fall in love, do they feel humans in their stomachs?

26 shares on Reddit this month:

If painting yourself into a corner was considered art, I’d be Michelangelo.

54 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m glad the makers removed all the unnecessary sex scenes from my life, so I can focus on character development.

84 shares on Discord this month:

While the optimist and pessimist argued about the glass of water, the opportunist drank it.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Doctors who give out lollipops really treat their patients.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry I’m late, my song came on at the grocery store.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Gonna end every insult with “but in a good way”.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Human stupidity exists because if everyone were smart, we’d have no one to laugh at on the internet.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Everything is a sign from God if you’re schizophrenic enough.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Started the year single. Ending the year single. Consistency is key.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

All the observable evidence suggests that, if I was much worse at my job, I’d be more likely to get a promotion to senior management.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

British people be like “It’s Chewsday, innit?”

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Remember when we were kids and did everything we could to grow up? We were so stupid!

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Meow means woof in cat.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,511

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

I hope whoever came up with the spelling for Wednesday was punished for their actions.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

Every day, I go to work and draw a little tick on everyone who didn’t say goodbye to me the day before.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

Gonna get my eye looked at today. Usually it’s the other way around.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

I should have peed before I left, and other things I’ll never learn: A memoir

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

Why do people always assume it’s a compliment when I tell them their baby looks just like them?

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

None of the parenting books say what to do when your kids start calling you ‘Bruh.’

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

TikTok? I still call it a watch.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

I’m really looking forward to eight hours of thinking about sleep tonight.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

They say we learn from our mistakes. That’s why I’m making as many as possible… I’ll be a genius soon.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

I came, I saw, I was disappointed, so I left.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Snapchat:

Don’t you hate it when you lose things? Like the motivation to do anything.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Men have nice skin because they stress out everyone but themselves.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I exaggerated on my job application and said I wanted to work for a living.

Seen just now on Instagram:

They should invent a day where I don’t wonder why.

Going viral on Slack:

Make every hug more interesting by mysteriously whispering, “the Dark Lord stands at the crossroads!”

Making waves on Messenger:

If you don’t like sports, you are missing a whole world of easy-going conversations with complete strangers.

Breaking via WeChat:

Need to shave my legs again. Blow-drying takes far too long.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Cake hits so much harder off a plastic fork.

Spotted on Reddit:

The adult in the room just addressed the elephant in the room.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Perfume is designed to be an invisible accessory. It’s not designed to instantly kill the canary when you entered the room.

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