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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

A dating app for people who suck at flirting called Fumble.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

Took control of my life today and canceled my AOL subscription.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

I wish rolling your eyes burned calories.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

Can anyone recommend some good behaviors for someone who just started behaving?

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

When I say I like when older men tell me what to do, I am talking about Yoda and his teachings.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

While the optimist and pessimist argued about the glass of water, the opportunist drank it.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

Never vacuuming so I don’t disrupt my carpet’s natural micro biome.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

I get it dogs, I wish I could also bark at strangers approaching my house.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

My dentist said my teeth were stained and asked if I smoke or drink coffee? I said, “I drink it.”

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

As long as you don’t ever give them your real name, they can’t accuse you of not keeping the mystery alive in your relationship.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1889 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,051

Funny Quotes Topics

14,836

Funny Quotes Images

12,051

3 minutes ago

3,447

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on TikTok:

Telling a child not to touch something only ensures that child is definitely now going to touch that something.

Spotted on TikTok:

Insulting me won’t work. I already said that to myself earlier.

Seen just now on Twitch:

By the time I remember to text back, it be too disrespectful to even do it.

Making waves on Discord:

I predict the next world war will be artificial intelligence versus genuine stupidity.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

“Cut my life into pieces” screamed the earthworm and threw itself in front of my spade.

Breaking via WeChat:

“I thought it might be nice to go around the room and have everyone introduce themselves, including a fun fact.” You thought wrong.

Going viral on Messenger:

Nothing more rude than taking a photo of yourself and it looking like how you actually look, and not how you look inside your head.

Going viral on Messenger:

My attempts to purge my possessions always seem to result in me rediscovering that I have lots of nice things, after which I lie happily on my hoard like a dragon.

Going viral on Threads:

My summer body is just my winter body with better lighting.

Going viral on Slack:

I don’t procrastinate, I delegate to my future self.

Home » Funny Unconscious Quotes

Funny unconscious quotes

Funny unconscious quotes are like little brain hiccups that make you laugh without thinking too hard 🤪💭 Whether it’s accidental wisdom or hilarious slip-ups, these gems bring unexpected chuckles and brighten your day 🌟😂 Get ready to dive into a world where silly meets subconscious—because sometimes the funniest thoughts happen when you’re not even aware! 🧠✨

New funny unconscious quotes 👇

3 days ago
Share →: “You’re always sleeping,” God forbid a woman wants to be unconscious.

Commentary:
When being a sleepyhead becomes a talent competition, and I'm going for gold! 💤😴🥇
2 months ago
Share →: My spirit animal is that bird that knocks itself unconscious flying into windows.

Commentary:
"Me too! We're both members of the 'Gracefully Clumsy Club.' 🐦💥😅"
6 months ago
Share →: I always fear that one day I will enter my house and find a thief, knocked out unconscious by the things fallen on his head from some closet.

Commentary:
"Sounds like that thief just couldn't handle the hard-hitting fashion choices of the homeowner! 💥 Who knew a walk-in closet could double as a ninja ambush? 🕶️🪓 Here's hoping the next intruder at least leaves a note praising your impeccable taste in clothing! 📝👗 #ClosetConcussions"

For even more funny unconscious quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny unconscious quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1889 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,051

Funny Quotes Topics

14,836

Funny Quotes Images

12,051

3 minutes ago

3,432

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

I can’t finish cleaning up my room because I get distracted by all of the cool stuff I find.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

The ugliest version of me is the version that comes out when I play board games. I don’t know who she is, but she is a monster. She is not fit for human interaction.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

I like smoke and lightning, your honor, heavy metal thunder, racing with the wind. You know that feeling I am under.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

Going to ask seven friends for advice and then execute my original plan.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

The knife is my brush, the jam my paint and the toast my canvas.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

69 but we both just farting.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

Tensing up so the masseuse doesn’t win.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

It’s never too early to be sad about having to work the next day.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

The closest I’ve come to mastering a martial art is figuring out how to wash my feet in the shower.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

Everyone hates on the dentist but at least they don’t try to weigh you.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on X:

When I take a shower I’m: 5% cleaning myself, 10% singing, 85% making life changing decisions.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

My life is just a series of awkward moments separated by snacks.

Trending via Pinterest:

Even worse than the buzzing of the mosquitoes is the moment when it suddenly stops.

Making waves on Twitch:

I’m fat because I’m full of experiences, and most of those experiences took place at Mexican restaurants.

Just shared via Twitch:

His voice was like whiskey. Smooth with a slow burn that lit me up from the inside.

Trending via Slack:

You can tell it’s desperate times the way spam messages have gone from fantasies like ‘I am a prince and I want to give you money’ to ‘I am an HR manager and I have a real job for you!’

Reported on Snapchat:

I’m actually quite nice. If I had friends, they’d all confirm that.

Reported on Snapchat:

Making a grown man kiss his camera on Facetime.

Live now on Twitch:

She didn’t leave you on read, bro. You left her on speechless.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

People always say, “There’s plenty of fish in the sea” … yeah, but I’ve got my eye fixed on that specific, emotionally distant salmon who has commitment issues.

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