Trendy Funny Quotes

  • After weeks of using an anti aging cream, I can now proudly say: I now have very well-maintained wrinkles.
  • Just read the Ten Commandments for the first time and you can’t do shit with your neighbor.
  • I grew up in a really small town. The closest thing we had to food delivery was someone egging your house.
  • Me and the fellas making welcome gift baskets for the aliens.
  • Welcome to your 40s: that “teenager”over there is actually 27.
  • Thank you for the opportunity but I don’t think being human is a good fit for me. I’m going to go back to school to become an octopus.