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Commentary:
"Life: a rollercoaster ride full of ups and downs. Death: a serene slumber. Transition: the awkward moment when you're neither here nor there 😅🎢💤 #LifeInLimbo"

death, humor, life, peace, peaceful, philosophy, pleasant, transition, trouble

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If I’m wrongly accused of a crime, I’m going to prison. I’m way too introverted to have an alibi.

0

2 months ago

accusation, alibi, anxiety, crime, going, humor, introvert, prison, social, social anxiety, too
Weekends now feel like short commercial breaks in a stressful movie.

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4 months ago

break, breaks, commercial, commercial break, comparison, feel, humor, movie, relaxation, short, short break, stress, stressful, weekend
The best time to start a family fight is now. It gets you out of buying relatives gifts.

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2 months ago

best, buying, family, fight, gifts, holiday, humor, relatif, sarcasm, start, time
You’ll never realize how crazy you really are until you fall in love.

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2 months ago

crazy, emotion, fall, humor, humor in love, love, never, realization, realize, relationships, self-awareness
ASAP can also mean as slow as possible.

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5 months ago

acronym, ASAP, humor, irony, management, mean, procrastination, slow, time, time management
You didn’t let me know you got home safely so you better at least be injured or I’m gonna be pissed.

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2 months ago

better, communication, concern, home, humor, injured, know, let, me, pissed, safely

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

97 shares on Twitch this month:

People be like, “I’m a work in progress” and never make any progress.

76 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Don’t forget to brush your teeth, comb your hair, cleanse your face, and share my posts.

93 shares on Threads this month:

“You’re like if 9 a.m. on a Monday was a person.”

22 shares on Discord this month:

It’s romantic to fall in love during the collapse of society.

74 shares on YouTube this month:

I don’t like to call it a xenomorph — I prefer the term “the alien from Alien.”

56 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Loving her was my second biggest mistake. Not buying Bitcoins in 2010 still remains the first.

85 shares on Instagram this month:

In my opinion, those who go jogging on a Sunday morning certainly don’t have a comfortable sofa.

68 shares on Slack this month:

I always leave my friends voicemails in case they suddenly decide to be a musician and need an interlude.

50 shares on Snapchat this month:

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

81 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I wish I was born into wealth so I could have a nice 1-bedroom apartment.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

Every Stranger Things scene is just a guy in a wig being like, ‘We have to stop them.’

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

Not gonna lie, I just assume everyone is AI now.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

“The engine light is on!” Yeah, that means it’s working.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

Ever since I was a little kid, I knew that I wanted to be late for work.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

Once you find a pair of pants that fit you perfectly, it’s over for all your other pants.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

I’m clumsy but there are upsides. For example, if I finish my chips and I’m sad there’s no more chips, I look in my lap and I always find chips.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

Sometimes the best thing about my job is that my chair turns.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

Goodbye, August, don’t let the door hit you on the way out.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

Had the bed all to myself last night, so you know what that means… I slept in a slightly different spot, and now my neck feels weird.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

Would pay $10 a month for Summer Premium Package without wasps.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Having a nicotine addiction is basically just adding a new base layer to Maslow’s hierarchy for no reason.

Going viral on Discord:

Police officer: please step out of your vehicle. Me: after this song, hold on.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Drove by a woman with her car broke down, I was going to stop and help until I remembered I don’t know anything about cars or women.

Trending via YouTube:

I have never “lit up a room” unless you count arson.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Going to the gym to exercise my demons.

Shared recently on Discord:

My ex had this fetish where he would dress up in his own clothes and act like an idiot.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

I can clean the whole house if I want to, but if someone asks me to do it, suddenly I’m lazy.

Spotted on TikTok:

Enjoy your time with me, because I love to disappear.

Making waves on TikTok:

Everyone thinks they won’t be that couple that goes from ‘everything you do is a turn-on’ to ‘you’re breathing too loud,’ but they will be, oh, they will be.

Just shared via Messenger:

Sometimes you send an email that requires a response, and the other person writes back right away, and it’s like NO NOT YET.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It’s the transition that’s troublesome.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

If I’m wrongly accused of a crime, I’m going to prison. I’m way too introverted to have an alibi.

Weekends now feel like short commercial breaks in a stressful movie.

The best time to start a family fight is now. It gets you out of buying relatives gifts.

You’ll never realize how crazy you really are until you fall in love.

ASAP can also mean as slow as possible.

You didn’t let me know you got home safely so you better at least be injured or I’m gonna be pissed.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨