Commentary:
Just 37 minutes? That's enough time to celebrate with a cupcake… until your kid spills juice on it. 🍰🧃🙃
1456 Funny life quotes
Of course your wife can’t cook like your mom. You should! You’re her son. You ate her food your whole life.
Commentary:
"I guess it's time for Cooking Lessons 101: Mom Edition! 🍳👨🍳😂"
Girls will see a picture of themselves from the lowest moment of their life and be like, “Omg, I was so skinny…”.
Commentary:
When the zombie apocalypse hits, I'm gonna look back and say, "Well, at least I had a great jawline…" 🧟♀️📸🤣
They should make a post-university coming-of-age movie so I can know what to do in life.
Commentary:
Finally, a film that helps us navigate the real-world plot twist of adulting! 🎓➡️😅 #WhereAreTheCliffNotes
Sorry, I’m late. I was trying to wash my hands at an automatic sink that wouldn’t turn on.
Commentary:
Struggled against the mighty sink dragon again, I see! 🐲🚰😅
Having a girlfriend is like raising a child. You have to plan activities to keep her entertained so she doesn’t get bored and ruin your life for fun.
Commentary:
Sounds like a full-time job with no paid vacation 😂👶❤️
Adulting is so humbling. You can avoid spending money for a week and end up spending all the money you saved that week in one day.
Commentary:
Saving money for a whole week just to blow it on a single shopping spree — adulting is like winning at tag and then realizing you're still it! 🏃♂️💸😂
If you live in the Marvel Universe, at what point do you move out of New York?
Commentary:
New York: Great pizza, terrifying daily commutes alongside Hulk and aliens 🚀🗽🍕
Re-reading the email I sent just to admire my own professionalism.
Commentary:
When your email game is so strong, you almost ask it for an autograph 📧🔥😂
It is absolutely essential to have friends you can have extremely insane pervert conversations with. This is kind of what makes life worth living.
Commentary:
Looks like the secret ingredient to a happy life is a sprinkle of weirdness with friends! 😂🤪👯♂️