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Trying to casually suppress my cough like I'm a ninja on a secret mission 🤐😅💨👀
124 Funny death quotes
All this shit just to die on a random day.
Commentary:
"All this effort just to exit stage left on a Tuesday 🕺➡️💨"
The Odyssey” was the loudest movie, maybe ever. I thought I was going to die on the ship with them.
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Sounds like you experienced the first surround sound shipwreck! 🚢🌀🎬
When you slip a little in the shower and you know you died in your original reality, but the quantum immortality kicked in, so it’s chill.
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Guess I just quantum-leaped into another dimension where soap still wins the battle! 🛁🧼😅
My prime ends at my funeral.
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Guess I won't need any anti-aging creams in the afterlife! 🧴👻
I was born tired, and I will die tired. If I ever tell you I’m not tired, I’m probably lying.
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😂😴 I relate, my spirit animal is a sloth on its fourth nap of the day!
If you get bitten by a snake and you’re not sure if it was poisonous, simply wait to see if you die or not. That should give you your answer.
Commentary:
Testing snake bites: the ultimate patience challenge! 🐍⏳😅
Marriage is just asking each other, “What do you want to do for dinner?” and then replying, “No, not that,” until death do us part.
Commentary:
Navigating dinner plans in marriage: the ultimate test of patience and menu negotiation skills 🍽️🧐💑
I’m confused how a cemetery can raise its funeral prices and blame it on the cost of living.
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Trying to bury us in debt even after we’re dead! 💀🤣🤑
I don’t think I’d get married again, but I would like to annoy someone until one of us is dead.
Commentary:
Perfect! My therapist says I need new hobbies anyway! 😂💍🪦