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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

If you look close enough, everyone is insane.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

Foolproof? Yeah, well we’ll see about that.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

My insurance company said if my tent is stolen while I’m camping, I won’t be covered.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

Not me out here checking the growth progress of my potted flowers only a couple hours after I planted the seeds in the first place.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

They all cheat, lie and manipulate. Just pick the pretty one.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

I logged on to Amazon and they said that they have run out of things that I don’t need.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

If anyone wants to contact me, from now on I can only be reached via my bank account.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

Telling an introvert to go to a party is like telling a saint to go to Hell.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

Having a crush on someone as an adult feels like a humiliation ritual.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

A dinosaur as a pet would solve so many problems. Mainly, people problems.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,523

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on X:

I don’t like this new trend of old people wearing shirts of bands I listened to when I was a kid.

Live now on TikTok:

Never underestimate my ability to effortlessly make something more difficult than it needs to be.

Going viral on Facebook:

Nobody sighs louder than an unemployed, debt-free dog who spends at least 16 hours a day sleeping.

Going viral on Reddit:

She was unique, like a millennial that could drive a stick shift.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

When I say “the other day”, it can be anytime between yesterday and my birth.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

True luxury is sleeping until you wake up by yourself.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Women’s fall fashion is basically coming up with ways to wear a blanket without it looking like you’re wearing a blanket.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Of course, my summer body is ready; it’s the same as my winter body but sweatier.

Trending via Telegram:

Because of my looks, everyone only wants one thing from me, that I leave them alone.

Just shared via Threads:

Discovering the Spice Girls broke up not over money and fame but lesbianism.

Potatoes make French fries, chips and vodka. It’s like the other vegetables aren’t even trying.

1 week ago

Witty quote about potatoes effortlessly dominating fries, chips, and vodka with humor.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Potatoes really know how to show off their versatility, don't they? 🥔 From crispy fries to crunchy chips to smooth vodka, they're like the overachievers of the vegetable world! 😄 Perhaps other veggies should take notes and step up their game if they want to compete with the beloved potato! 🥦🌽 #PotatoPower"

alcohol, chips, french fries, vegetable, vodka

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Social Media Stars ⭐

64 shares on Telegram this month:

I just wish I had the confidence of my husband who thinks everything only takes 5 minutes.

52 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I like to people-watch, but I’m an advanced people-watcher. When I spot another people-watcher, I like to watch them watching other people.

42 shares on Threads this month:

You can make a salad without lettuce if you want, there are no rules.

41 shares on Reddit this month:

Curious that talented athletes frequently credit God when they win, but we rarely see them blame God when they lose.

50 shares on Telegram this month:

Theo Von’s entire life is like a raccoon that visits New York City.

80 shares on Slack this month:

Never trust a wet fart.

73 shares on Twitch this month:

The thing I bought on Etsy in 2017 has shipped.

94 shares on Reddit this month:

Rare earth, this rare earth, that. There’s nothing more rare on this earth than affordable housing in a walkable neighborhood.

23 shares on WhatsApp this month:

For Halloween, you should be mine.

81 shares on Instagram this month:

When you said “let’s circle back to that in the new year” and now it’s the new year.

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Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I accidentally relaxed too much, and now I don’t have enough anxiety to get stuff done.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

August is almost over. September is next week. Time to pick out a Halloween costume and start your Christmas shopping. Happy New Year, everybody.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t have a favorite vampire. If you ask me, they all suck.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Good morning to life’s chaos, where my coffee is the only thing that makes sense!

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I tried to act normal once, worst five minutes of my life.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I miss getting my misinformation from less places.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

My card got declined at the barbershop so they put all the hair in my mouth and squeezed me until it came out of my head.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Whenever an insect rides for miles on my car, I imagine it thinking: “Oh crap, moving again!”

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Growing up, I always knew I was gonna be the distant family member.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Everybody hates me for being a beautiful angel with a perfect soul.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,404

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

Texting him “Happy New Year” to interrupt his healing process.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

Can everyone log off? I need some time alone right now.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

Sitting in a room with my husband and kids… Suddenly I realize everyone here has been in my vagina. Wow.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

Take me down to the Moria city, where the girls are green and the boys are stinky… and even Gandalf said ‘Nope, too freaky!’

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

Why does the dentist have to take an x-ray of my teeth? They right there, bro!

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

Every time I turn around, it’s Monday.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

I don’t understand why my husband has to pay for a UFC fight when he could just throw one piece of candy on the floor in front of our kids.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

Keep your fries close and your onion rings closer.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

It’s okay, facial recognition. I don’t recognize myself anymore either.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

Just know that somebody out there is thinking of you, and you should really lock your doors.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Are we all getting a front-row seat to the end times, or what?

Trending via Instagram:

Why is everyone looking for intelligent life in space? Can we please start on Earth first?

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Everybody thinks “Free Hugs” signs are cute, unless you’re a boa constrictor.

Making waves on YouTube:

I can still drop it like it’s hot. It’s just a lot harder to pick it back up.

Breaking via Slack:

Always remember you’re unique, just like everyone else.

Spotted on WeChat:

I don’t know who needs to hear this but you’re not dying, it’s just Monday.

Shared recently on X:

Live, laugh, lie to the doctor about how many drinks you have per week.

Trending via Telegram:

How great is it to do absolutely nothing and follow it up by taking a rest.

Going viral on Threads:

How can I be expected to get out of bed when I don’t want to?

Seen just now on Instagram:

Call me constipated the way I don’t give a shit.

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