Funny alcohol quotes

Funny alcohol quotes add a humorous twist to our favorite social beverage! 🍻😂 Whether it’s poking fun at drinking habits or celebrating the lighter side of happy hours, these quotes will have you laughing and toasting to good times. Enjoy the humor in your next sip! 😆🥂

Alcohol and eye contact is a deadly combo.

Funny Quotes August 29, 2024

There’s going to be a full moon this Christmas! Because mixing family and alcohol together wasn’t enough…

Funny Quotes August 28, 2024

I was going to warn my kids about the repercussions of drugs and alcohol until I realized that they in fact were the repercussions of drugs and alcohol.

Funny Quotes August 9, 2024

Seven wives and no alcohol? No thanks, Mormons.

Funny Quotes August 7, 2024

What you call “Brunch” I call “Breakfast for Alcoholics.”

Funny Quotes August 3, 2024

You know what goes great with helping your kid with math homework? Vodka!

Funny Quotes June 29, 2024

I have never seen an alcohol company using a drunk person for any advertising, are they ashamed of their customers?

Funny Quotes June 29, 2024

There is nothing like a little tomato soup to soothe the soul, even if it’s cold, over ice, with a celery stalk and vodka.

Funny Quotes June 29, 2024

I switched from coffee to orange juice and told my doctor I felt better. He said it’s the vitamin C and natural sugars, but I think it’s the vodka.

Funny Quotes June 29, 2024

Alcohol: When you want to run away from your problems without moving.

Funny Quotes June 25, 2024

My employer is totally caring. They pay so poorly that I can’t afford to have an alcohol or drug problem.

Funny Quotes June 1, 2024

I bought a watermelon and all I can think about is filling it with vodka.

Funny Quotes May 29, 2024

“What’s a random act of kindness you’ve done for a stranger recently?” I helped a bunch of teens buy alcohol and cigarettes the other day.

Funny Quotes May 27, 2024

You can tell me what you want, but alcohol and eye contact are a dangerous combination.

Funny Quotes May 16, 2024

Middle-aged math is going out drinking and feeling half your age then waking up the next morning feeling twice your age.

Funny Quotes May 6, 2024