Funny quotes alcohol

52 Funny alcohol quotes

Funny alcohol quotes add a humorous twist to our favorite social beverage! 🍻😂 Whether it’s poking fun at drinking habits or celebrating the lighter side of happy hours, these quotes will have you laughing and toasting to good times. Enjoy the humor in your next sip! 😆🥂

I’m not drunk enough for this Teams meeting.

Funny Quotes Mar 31, 2025

I don’t get how alcohol turns y’all evil. I just start giggling and get slutty.

Funny Quotes Mar 31, 2025

Don’t drink to forget me, you’ll end up seeing me double.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

Some things are better left unsaid, but people get drunk and say them anyway.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

Potatoes make French fries, chips and vodka. It’s like the other vegetables aren’t even trying.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

I love airports because the rules of society don’t apply. Eat a pizza and have a glass of wine at 7 am while in track pants. Nobody cares.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

Not to brag but I don’t need alcohol to do something stupid.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

Not to brag but I don’t even need alcohol to make really bad decisions.

Funny Quotes Mar 17, 2025

My youngest had a mandatory drugs and alcohol lecture today at school, and he still can’t mix a proper drink.

Funny Quotes Mar 16, 2025

You don’t need fun to have alcohol.

Funny Quotes Feb 20, 2025

Alcohol is actually a performance-enhancing drug. But you’re not gonna like the performance.

Funny Quotes Feb 1, 2025

I drink my coffee black because I like to save my calories for alcohol.

Funny Quotes Feb 1, 2025

Clearly I’m not doing Dry January unless you mean sense of humor.

Funny Quotes Feb 1, 2025

No thanks, social media influencers. I prefer making decisions the old-fashioned way: under the influence of alcohol.

Funny Quotes Feb 1, 2025

If you’re doing Dry January, please, please, keep it to yourself. Nobody cares, and you’re probably even more boring without alcohol.

Funny Quotes Feb 1, 2025

I don’t drink alcohol. I like suffering raw.

Funny Quotes Jan 28, 2025

It’s not ‘drinking alone’ if you’re at work.

Funny Quotes Jan 28, 2025

Me: I’m an introvert. Vodka: No, you’re not.

Funny Quotes Jan 28, 2025

Feeling melancholy. Think I’ll have a drink and make things much worse.

Funny Quotes Jan 27, 2025

I spend half the day wondering if it’s too late for coffee and the other half wondering if it’s too early for alcohol.

Funny Quotes Jan 27, 2025

“Alcohol and beautiful women” is apparently not an appropriate answer when you are asked about your weaknesses in a job interview.

Funny Quotes Jan 27, 2025

A web developer and an SEO expert walk into a bar, bars, nightclub, pubs, tavern, beer, alcohol, drinks, alcoholic beverages, bars in my area, places to drink.

Funny Quotes Jan 26, 2025

Tonight, my poor liver has to pay again for what went wrong during the week.

Funny Quotes Jan 26, 2025

Alcohol and eye contact is a deadly combo.

Funny Quotes Jan 25, 2025

There’s going to be a full moon this Christmas! Because mixing family and alcohol together wasn’t enough…

Funny Quotes Jan 25, 2025