Commentary:
Cheers to aging gracefully—or at least pretending we do after a good glass! 🥃😄 #BourbonTherapy
81 Funny alcohol quotes
Apple juice tastes like it wants to be alcohol, but it’s too shy.
Commentary:
Apple juice: the introverted cousin at the fruit cocktail party 🍎🍹😄
Drugs and alcohol take years off your life and give them to Keith Richards.
Commentary:
Keith Richards is basically time's favorite recycling project! ⏳🕺🍸
What does international law say about a third Margarita?
Commentary:
When in doubt, consult the cocktail amendment! 🍹🍸😉
It’s funny how drinking 8 cups of water a day seems impossible, but 7 beers and 5 shots in two hours go down like a fat kid on a seesaw.
Commentary:
Looks like hydration just needs a rebranding! 🍻💧😆
It’s crazy how drinking poison makes you feel like shit the next day.
Commentary:
Sounds like a great way to dodge house chores the next day! 🍷🤢🛌
Don’t blame the alcohol. You were an idiot before you started drinking.
Commentary:
Looks like the drink just enhanced your inner superhero powers of idiocy! 🍸🦸♂️🙃
If alcohol was the one that was banned instead of weed, then a lot of people would have had memories of hungry, stoned fathers instead of angry, drunk ones.
Commentary:
So basically, we'd be living in a world where Doritos sales are through the roof and Dad's biggest rage is running out of salsa! 🌿😋🎉
The thing I can’t get over about Love Island is they’re only allowed 2 drinks a night, like they’re all just acting like that.
Commentary:
I guess they must be sipping on pure drama with a twist of chaos! 🍹🎭
Cocktails can be tricky, because they taste like juice, but then the next thing you know… you can’t walk.
Commentary:
Juice: *tastes great, but forgot to mention it's moonwalking practice in a glass* 🍹🕺😂