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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

You have 8 hours remaining to create shareholder value.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

Odd people reviewing a dessert: It’s not too sweet which is what I like.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

“I saw your ex!” A very unnecessary piece of information.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

I would love to be the reason you look at your phone and smile. Then walk into a wall.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

Therapy only works if you have a lower IQ than the therapist.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Karma has taught me to never laugh at a stranger being attacked by a seagull.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

My phone is on Do Not Disturb because I am disturbed enough as it is.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

Once I get my UFO, don’t be asking me for rides.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

Easy there, unsaved number.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not hungover, it’s just Tuesday.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,353

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Telegram:

By the time my CVS receipt finished printing, I was eligible for another prescription refill.

Breaking via Instagram:

I’m glad nobody can see the face I make when I’ve just started the washing machine and then spot a sock on the floor.

Spotted on Messenger:

Sorry, I’m late. I was trying to convince a bathroom hand dryer that I exist.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Imagine hating me, and I’m over here with one hand in my pocket, and the other one giving a high five.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

If you compliment me, my glasses fog up.

Making waves on Messenger:

I always set two alarms, one for “Good Intentions Me” and one for “The Real Me”

Just landed via TikTok:

Why is it spelled “camouflage” and not “ “?

Freshly posted on Twitch:

A clever man fills his wife’s closet with so many clothes that no other man can fit in.

Just landed via Discord:

Please pray for my husband, he’s struggling to find me.

Trending via YouTube:

Musk goes “exactly,” and it’s the stupidest tweet you’ve ever read in your entire life.

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera!

1 month ago

Playful quote about singing in the shower turning into a soap opera moment.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🎶🚿 "Singing in the shower is like having your own personal concert… until you accidentally taste-test your shampoo and turn the bathroom into a soap opera! 🎤🛁 Just be glad you're not auditioning for 'The Young and the Hairless', am I right? 😉"

fun, games, mouth, opera, shampoo, shower, singing, soap

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

56 shares on Twitch this month:

The internet is making people stupid. Not me, though.

94 shares on Pinterest this month:

My motivation and me: It’s complicated.

76 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Hangman is so great. No better way for a child to learn how to spell than by having to save a man from hanging to death.

82 shares on Slack this month:

(suicidal grindset guy) When I jump, it’s gonna be from the penthouse.

24 shares on Messenger this month:

Time is precious, waste it wisely.

15 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Don’t ask me why, but the older you get, the more you love coffee.

22 shares on Telegram this month:

Monday is already sending me threatening glances from across the room.

62 shares on Discord this month:

I was having a great day, and then, people.

39 shares on Instagram this month:

People will say “sounds good” at work when things don’t sound good at all.

12 shares on Pinterest this month:

I just lost all my tabs. Only now do I understand the tragedy that was the burning of the Library of Alexandria.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

April Fool’s next week and still no one has asked me to be their fool.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

You’re no Sultan of Swing, buddy, you’re hardly a Governor of Groove.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish it was socially acceptable to DM someone, “Hey, why did you and your partner break up?”

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Babe, you’re not acting according to my delusions right now.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Got too drunk in the Vietnamese restaurant last night, they said I can never go back. They banh mi.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve got a couple of eyebrow hairs that want me to be a villain.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

The Pope is the only employee who never gets to see his boss. Not even at the Christmas party.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I gotta ask, what part of ‘I don’t eat sugar’ don’t I understand?

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I need a Netflix show called: “Background noise while you scroll on your phone.”

23 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m a very sleepy person, just at all the wrong times.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,643

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

People who ask “Can I call you” are so sweet. Like, obviously you cannot, but so sweet.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

Some people are living proof that brain failure does not immediately lead to death.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

Wanna perform obscene blood rituals under the full moon, or nah?

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

Situationships are just you pretending you’re okay with getting used until they find someone they actually like.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

My head is starting to get dented from hitting rock bottom so often.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

Don’t invite me places. I was cesarean. I didn’t want to come out then and I certainly don’t want to now.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

I’ve never seen anything sadder than me in a black cape under the salon lights with wet hair parted incorrectly by a solid inch.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

Seeing a BBL in real life is a reality-altering experience.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

I keep myself humble by messing up all the time.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

I would rather lose you than the argument.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

For someone with a dry phone, I’m on it way too much.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Being offline for so long gave me the time to appreciate what’s really important in life, so I’m back online.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I tried to walk like an Egyptian and now I need to see a Cairo practor.

Going viral on Snapchat:

My rock bottom keeps refreshing.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

90% of debugging is just realizing your own stupidity in slow motion.

Seen just now on Slack:

My friends put their kid to bed and then made us ice cream sundaes, which is exactly what I assumed was happening when my parents put me to bed.

Trending via Pinterest:

Never miss a good chance to shut up.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Because of my looks, everyone only wants one thing from me, that I leave them alone.

Live now on Snapchat:

I’m heading to the beach without a beach body.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Corporate life requires an ass-licking skill set I simply wasn’t born with.

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