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New funny quotes: 6 this month

15,831 funny quotes and pics

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Updated: Jun 2, 2026

 

 

 

 

 

48 Funny mouth quotes

Funny mouth quotes πŸ˜„ are the perfect blend of humor and wisdom, adding a splash of fun to your day! From witty one-liners to clever puns, these quotes will have you grinning ear to ear 😁. Whether you’re looking to lighten the mood or simply enjoy a good laugh, dive into the world of hilarious quips that celebrate the power of words and the joy of laughter. Let the giggles begin! πŸ˜‚

Why would I put money where my mouth is when wine exists?

Posted onMay 29, 2026

Twitter is diarrhea of the mouth at its finest. Everyone is just going around vomiting whatever is in their brains.

Posted onMay 29, 2026

Sometimes I’ll do a random act of kindness, like keeping my mouth shut, for example.

Posted onMay 29, 2026

My dental plan is, “I guess I’ll just chew on this side of my mouth from now on.”

Posted onMay 28, 2026

Y’all ever feel like your mouth is stupid but your mind is smart? Like you’re intelligent but you can’t express it when you’re speaking? It’s so frustrating.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

If I say β€œwith all due respect,” nothing respectful is about to come out of my mouth.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

Sometimes my greatest accomplishment is keeping my mouth shut.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

Sometimes I do random acts of kindness, like keeping my mouth shut, for example.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

I can keep my mouth shut, but you can read the subtitles on my face.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

Asking my dentist a question, but sticking my fingers in his mouth before he replies.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

Hate it when my mouth says something my brain was trying to keep quiet.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

I’ve got a soft heart and a savage mouth. I’m like a Hallmark card written by Gordon Ramsay.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

Sometimes I wish I had a speed bump between my brain and my mouth.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

My mouth moves faster than my survival instincts.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

Living with a dog is 90% following each other around, watching each other go potty, and wondering what the other has in their mouth.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

If you have an opinion about my life, please raise your hand. Now put it over your mouth.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

Coconut water taste like it’s been in someone else’s mouth.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

Why can’t I explore the dentist’s mouth too?

Posted onMay 25, 2026

Sometimes my mouth hits send before my brain has a chance to stop it.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

Do you think they’re called cough drops because when you cough really hard they drop out of your mouth onto the floor?

Posted onMay 24, 2026

Smash Mouth was so right, the years really do start coming and they don’t stop coming.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

Why can’t Chinese restaurants chop the broccoli in their dishes? I feel like I’m trying to fit an entire bonsai tree into my mouth.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

If there’s no open mouth cougher on the plane they hold the flight until they can find one.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

A mustache is just mouth bangs.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

Bro, you’re not allowed anymore to have your tongue drop out of your mouth and form a stair case when you see my wife.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

Dentist appointments are so weird. β€œHi, nice to meet you, could you root around in my mouth for a bit?”

Posted onMay 23, 2026

Keeping my mouth shut is usually not enough to avoid an argument with my husband. I also have to deactivate the subtitle function on my face.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

I wish my hair had as much volume as my mouth.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

If I’m ever murdered, feel comfort in knowing I ran my mouth until the bitter end.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

On a dare, my son sprayed deodorant in his mouth. Now he speaks with an Axe scent.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

The eyes are the windows to the soul. A mustache is the front garden, and the mouth is that big pothole the council should do something about.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

Oh, lord. I brought my mouth with me to work today and it’s all sass. Prayers, please.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

My card got declined at the barbershop so they put all the hair in my mouth and squeezed me until it came out of my head.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

I wish I was mysterious, but unfortunately I just can’t keep my mouth shut.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

I think one quality that makes me incredibly attractive is that I keep my mouth shut when I have nothing to say.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

My favorite part about being sick is when you sneeze with a cough drop in your mouth and it launches across the room like a cruise missile.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

The best part about Smarties is pouring them into an empty prescription bottle and shaking them all into my mouth while waiting in line.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

Have you ever noticed that when you step on someone’s foot, they open their mouth? It’s like a folding trash can.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

Dentists get rich by staring into your mouth for 30 seconds, playing sinking ships with their assistant, and then telling you to brush better.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

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