48 funny mouth quotes - Wordgag

My favorite part about being sick is when you sneeze with a cough drop in your mouth and it launches across the room like a cruise missile.

May 21, 2026

The best part about Smarties is pouring them into an empty prescription bottle and shaking them all into my mouth while waiting in line.

May 21, 2026

Have you ever noticed that when you step on someone’s foot, they open their mouth? It’s like a folding trash can.

May 21, 2026

Dentists get rich by staring into your mouth for 30 seconds, playing sinking ships with their assistant, and then telling you to brush better.

May 21, 2026

If I was a microplastic, I would simply not go in the ocean or anyone’s mouth.

May 21, 2026

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera!

May 20, 2026

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it becomes a soap opera.

May 20, 2026

Hate when you’re trying to take a nap and the dentist is all “Please open your mouth.”

May 20, 2026

We all just kind of accept it as normal that we have a meat tentacle living inside of our mouth.

May 20, 2026

Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.

May 20, 2026

I was going to go for a run, then realized I could just run my mouth on here.

May 19, 2026

Don’t put words in my mouth—that’s where the hot dogs go.

May 19, 2026

Why would I put money where my mouth is when wine exists?

Apr 1, 2026

Twitter is diarrhea of the mouth at its finest. Everyone is just going around vomiting whatever is in their brains.

Apr 1, 2026

Sometimes I’ll do a random act of kindness, like keeping my mouth shut, for example.

Apr 1, 2026

My dental plan is, “I guess I’ll just chew on this side of my mouth from now on.”

Mar 31, 2026

Y’all ever feel like your mouth is stupid but your mind is smart? Like you’re intelligent but you can’t express it when you’re speaking? It’s so frustrating.

Mar 31, 2026

If I say “with all due respect,” nothing respectful is about to come out of my mouth.

Mar 31, 2026

Sometimes my greatest accomplishment is keeping my mouth shut.

Mar 31, 2026

Sometimes I do random acts of kindness, like keeping my mouth shut, for example.

Mar 30, 2026

I can keep my mouth shut, but you can read the subtitles on my face.

Mar 30, 2026

Asking my dentist a question, but sticking my fingers in his mouth before he replies.

Mar 30, 2026

Hate it when my mouth says something my brain was trying to keep quiet.

Mar 30, 2026

I’ve got a soft heart and a savage mouth. I’m like a Hallmark card written by Gordon Ramsay.

Mar 30, 2026

Sometimes I wish I had a speed bump between my brain and my mouth.

Mar 29, 2026

My mouth moves faster than my survival instincts.

Mar 29, 2026

Living with a dog is 90% following each other around, watching each other go potty, and wondering what the other has in their mouth.

Mar 29, 2026

If you have an opinion about my life, please raise your hand. Now put it over your mouth.

Mar 28, 2026

Coconut water taste like it’s been in someone else’s mouth.

Mar 28, 2026

Why can’t I explore the dentist’s mouth too?

Mar 28, 2026

Sometimes my mouth hits send before my brain has a chance to stop it.

Mar 28, 2026

Do you think they’re called cough drops because when you cough really hard they drop out of your mouth onto the floor?

Mar 27, 2026

Smash Mouth was so right, the years really do start coming and they don’t stop coming.

Mar 27, 2026

Why can’t Chinese restaurants chop the broccoli in their dishes? I feel like I’m trying to fit an entire bonsai tree into my mouth.

Mar 27, 2026

If there’s no open mouth cougher on the plane they hold the flight until they can find one.

Mar 27, 2026

A mustache is just mouth bangs.

Mar 27, 2026

Bro, you’re not allowed anymore to have your tongue drop out of your mouth and form a stair case when you see my wife.

Mar 26, 2026

Dentist appointments are so weird. “Hi, nice to meet you, could you root around in my mouth for a bit?”

Mar 26, 2026

Keeping my mouth shut is usually not enough to avoid an argument with my husband. I also have to deactivate the subtitle function on my face.

Mar 26, 2026

I wish my hair had as much volume as my mouth.

Mar 26, 2026