New funny call quotes

• Of course I believe pushing the elevator call button over and over will make it come faster.

• You’ll be having the worst time of your life, and someone will video call you.

• It’s a fabulous time to be alive if you love: verification codes, verifying your email, yelling ‘REAL PERSON’ into a phone at a robot, reading nightmarish news all day, every day, hot.

• Well, I’ve been depressed and poor, but sure, we’ll call it intermittent fasting.

• Let’s ruin each other’s sleep schedules and call it romance.

• I do not care how bad the relationship is, I am NOT calling a radio station for advice.

• Let’s call it a year. I’ve had enough. Merry Christmas, y’all.

• At the doctor’s office, booing all the names being called that aren’t mine.

• The younger generation will never know the fear and anxiety of calling your friend’s house, and their parents answer the phone.

• Call me a glitch, cause I’m definitely messing with your system.

Top funny call quotes

• Sorry I missed your call, I was staring in horror at the screen, wondering why on earth you couldn’t just text me.

• My social circle is so small that when the phone rings, I know it’s scammers.

• Deleting my Call of Duty account so the army can’t see my potential, and I don’t get drafted.

• My favorite part of the Bible is when Jesus says to put a cross emoji and a Bible verse in your bio, and then call people slurs on the internet.

• Nobody declines a call faster than a 3-year-old watching YouTube.

• Working as a 911 operator but hanging up when someone starts screaming because I’m an empath, and it overwhelms me.

• Are you gonna call me beautiful today, or do I need to go to the gas station?

• I miss when people didn’t talk on speakerphone in public.

• It’s messed up that there are a million songs about love, but zero about hopping on a quick call with key stakeholders.

• Jokes on you, unknown number. I barely answer my phone for people I know.

Popular funny call quotes

• Best time to reach me is when I’m at work. Don’t bother me when I’m at home.

• Goodnight Outlook, goodnight Teams, goodnight Zoom.

• Being a little older, I am very fortunate to have someone call and check on me every day. He’s from India, and he’s very concerned about my car warranty.

• My stomach just made the exact sound of the “your” in “your call has been forwarded to an automatic voice messaging system.”

• My wife called to tell me she saw a fox on the way to work. I asked her how she knew it was on its way to work. She hung up on me.

• Only bots from Nigeria are allowed to call me dear.

• I swear the air gets heavier around 6 p.m. on Sundays. You can feel the Microsoft Teams energy approaching.

• You should be allowed to call out of work if you have a really bad nightmare.

• Can’t wait to overuse the “My husband said,” “Let me phone my husband,” “I’ll ask my husband.”

• Having to confirm your past purchases over the phone with your bank’s fraud department is a truly harrowing moment of self-examination for chronic little treat buyers.

More funny call quotes

• 69. Some might call it nasty. I call it a romantic dinner for 2.

• Call me old, but these days I just get excited to go home and lay down.

• Hold music is annoyingly scratchy and repetitive on purpose, so you will hang up and stop bothering them.

• Adulting is making a phone call, even though you don’t want to.

• Clicked on ‘Make a reservation’ on a restaurant’s page, and it opened FaceTime and started calling them. I cannot stress enough how much I do not want that to happen.

• The bank just called and gave me the biggest compliment, said my balance is outstanding. I really needed that today.

• In a packed elevator, everyone is silent. Stomach: I will now demonstrate the mating call of a whale.

• Snakes don’t hiss anymore, they call you babe, bro, or friend.

• Telemarketer: “Hello, am I speaking to the head of the household?” Me, handing the phone to my cat: “It’s for you.”

• Every Jurassic Park movie should end with an insurance adjuster getting a phone call and immediately throwing up.

Witty call quotes

• I always leave my friends voicemails in case they suddenly decide to be a musician and need an interlude.

• Nephew showed me his toys on FaceTime, and I had no toys to show him back. Humiliating.

• Look away from your laptop for 1 second, and MS Teams will say you left the country.

• Why is everything 10x better at night? Driving, showering, eating, vibing to music, watching Netflix… phone calls. Like, everything.

• Imagine applying for a job, then not picking up calls from random numbers.

• Sorry, I missed your call. I watched it ring and everything.

• There is nothing worse in life than calling customer service and hearing an Indian accent.

• Can we call situationships ‘affairs’ again? It sounds more adult and less desperate.

• The haters said I couldn’t do it. And they were correct. Honestly, great call from the haters.

• Let’s just call ourselves divorced now and skip the stressful, expensive bit in the middle.

Declining The Invitation To Speak Before Your Social Battery Hits Zero Percent

This list of verbal blunders finally reaches its “hang up” point, and hopefully, it didn’t trigger any post-traumatic stress from that time you accidentally Facetimed your boss while in your pajamas. 🛌🤳 It’s a funny world where we carry powerful communication devices in our pockets yet feel a deep sense of betrayal when someone actually uses them to try and talk to us. 📵📉 The next time your phone vibrates, just remember that you are the master of your own destiny—and that “accidentally” dropping your phone into a bowl of soup is a perfectly valid reason to avoid a three-hour conversation about insurance. Keep your ringtone silent, your “Do Not Disturb” active, and your text-speed fast, because in the game of modern telephone, the person who speaks first usually loses. Now, go forth and enjoy the silence—at least until you realize you’ve been holding your phone the whole time and have three missed calls from “Mom”! ✌️😎🔇✨