New funny media quotes

• Ragebait idea: like your own texts during an argument.

• There should be an anti-LinkedIn app where everyone posts their failures, and we congratulate them for it.

• I be outside telling people I don’t got social media when they ask.

• Born to screenshot everything and never look at it again.

• The greatest trick ever was making people feel more connected, when they are actually more alone than ever.

• Shit posting is cheaper than therapy.

• Social media can teach you a lot of lessons. Grammar is not one of them.

• I poked your tweet with a stick, hoping it would do something.

• If it doesn’t get a like in the first two years, I delete it.

• Checking Twitter now is like staring into your refrigerator to see if anything good has magically appeared.

Top funny media quotes

• Life is short. Tell people you love them, so they block you sooner.

• Not to brag, but I don’t fight with people on the internet.

• Welcome to Twitter, some random, judgmental stranger will be along shortly to complain about your tweets.

• Your posts make me wish I could forget how to read.

• I respectfully ignore DMs because I promise you, I am not your soulmate.

• The first thing you need to know about social media is that everyone’s on vacation, except for you.

• This post is invisible, and only those going to Hell can see it.

• Sometimes I wanna delete all my social media and throw my phone into a river.

• I can’t wait to open my phone tomorrow and find out what we’re mad about next.

• Twitter account so good even HR wants to see it.

Popular funny media quotes

• I think social media is marvellous. You type your thoughts into it, and then insane people let you know if they like them or not.

• Tweeting with no audience feels like screaming jokes into a cornfield.

• Hate when I view someone’s story, and it’s their birthday.

• Porn is free, so why are you in my DMs?

• An easy way to check if you’re attractive: send a “Hey” DM and see if they reply.

• TMZ will find out you’re dead before you do.

• It’s important to post stupid stuff so you can learn who likes you.

• If you are influenced by influencers, you’re beyond retarded.

• Revenge? No. I just post hot selfies and let the algorithm do God’s work.

• I love posting my thoughts on the internet. Now they’re your problem.

More funny media quotes

• People who get 0-5 likes at max and still tweet all the time… What’s your secret?

• You’ve never burned music to a CD, and it shows.

• They were called “TV programs” because they were literally programming us, bro.

• Each day on Twitter, there is one main character. The goal is to never be it.

• Blocking him isn’t enough. I need to watch his hairline recede.

• Jane Austen gave us men who crossed fields in the rain. Mine left me on read, and liked someone else’s story.

• The more attention you get on this website, the less you enjoy being on it.

• Why is everybody on LinkedIn thrilled all the time?

• I post for my other personalities. They’re huge fans.

• First in my bloodline to scroll Twitter for hours.

Witty media quotes

• Twitter will always be your best app if you’re single, funny, or just depressed.

• Using Twitter as a semi-vague posting journal for memory purposes.

• People who don’t have Twitter are trying to show you stuff you laughed at a month ago.

• Using Twitter means knowing the news a week before everyone else.

• I was born in the right generation. I love bedrotting and scrolling through Twitter all day.

• It’s so unrealistic for me to delete WhatsApp, but man, I’d love to do it.

• Viewing everyone’s stories like the morning paper.

• Twitter is my serious account, the funny one is my bank account.

• Twitter is cigarette for the eyes.

• Life isn’t funny, why should my posts be?

Turning Off Your Screen Before Your Attention Span Disappears Entirely

You’ve officially consumed enough content for the moment, and hopefully, your brain hasn’t been completely pixelated by the experience. 👾📉 It’s a bit ironic that we use media to complain about media, but if we didn’t have the internet, how would we let everyone know we’re “going off the grid” for exactly forty-eight minutes? 🌲📵 The world is a lot noisier than it used to be, but at least we have a front-row seat to the global comedy show that is the nightly news and the comment section of literally any video. Just remember that behind every perfectly filtered photo and every dramatic headline is a human being who is also probably just looking for their charger. Now, go forth and enjoy the real world for a bit—just try not to look for a “like” button on the trees! ✌️😎🌳✨