Funny myself quotes celebrate the hilarious inner dialogue we all have with… well, ourselves 🤪. From pep talks in the mirror 🪞 to arguing with your own brain about dumb decisions 🤦♂️, dealing with myself can feel like a full-time comedy show 😂. These quotes capture the awkward, self-deprecating, and totally relatable moments where we realize we’re both the problem and the solution 🙃. Get ready to laugh at your own wonderfully ridiculous self 😄!
New funny myself quotes
- If you see me looking zoned out, it’s because I’m having a therapy session with myself in my head.
- Making a record-breaking number of bad choices today, I’m really proud of myself.
- ‘Another bombshell has entered the villa!’ I say to myself as I walk in the front door of my own home.
- I just read a thing that said I should compliment myself on my decisions, regardless of the outcome. No thanks, I’m not the government.
- I hate it when I take a picture of myself and see 20 years of bad eating habits and no exercise.
- When I’m dying, please rush me to the nearest haunted house. I don’t want to haunt a shitty apartment by myself.
- I like driving by myself. I just played the same song 36 times.
- “You handled it so well.” Nah, I didn’t. I lost my spark, felt crazy, distanced myself from everyone, and hated myself.
- The older I get, the more I start to understand the appeal of birdwatching as a hobby. I do find myself watching these little troublemakers quite often.
- I’m so broke, I owe myself money.
Top funny myself quotes
- Teaching myself ukulele! Neighbor keeping the beat on my wall!
- The zero likes won’t stop me from posting. I will talk to myself if I have to.
- I don’t consider myself anything but average. However, I have aged well.
- “You’re an athlete,” I whisper to myself, as I begin my third attempt to get out of the couch.
- Days without shaking my head disapprovingly at myself: 0.
- I could put my keys in the same spot every day, but why deprive myself of a treasure hunt that makes me late.
- I see people my age out there climbing mountains and skydiving, and here I am feeling good about myself because I got my leg through my underwear without losing my balance.
- I’m proud of myself because, despite having so many expenses, I still manage to add more.
- Shout out to myself for ruining my own life.
- “I could see myself living here,” I said, in a different city for more than 24 hours.
Popular funny myself quotes
- I hate being responsible for my own meals because I’ll either spoil myself or starve for most of the day.
- I don’t do exercise because one time I kneed myself in the face doing a burpee.
- They say money can’t buy happiness, but could someone just give me a lot of it and let me see for myself?
- Checked myself, but unfortunately, after I wrecked myself.
- I concern myself with the opinions of sheep because they are cute.
- Whoops, lost myself for about eight years there.
- I wasn’t sure why the doctor prescribed LSD for my constipation, until I saw a dragon and shit myself.
- I had to treat myself to a sweet goody today to distract my mind from the horrors of life.
- Not working on myself because I make better content this way.
- Sometimes I have to remind myself to put down my iPhone, go outside, and judge people in person.
More funny myself quotes
- Wearing white pants today, so it’s really just a matter of time before I spill something on myself.
- “Thug life,” I whisper to myself as I check out my sunglasses in the mirror.
- I hope nobody sees me eating by myself and feels sorry for me. I’m having the time of my life.
- I would rather walk directly into the ocean than tell people a fun fact about myself.
- Went on a date with a guy who didn’t ask me any questions about myself, so it’s on him when he finds out about my husband.
- Feeling guilty for taking up the entire therapy session talking about myself.
- I keep myself humble by messing up all the time.
- I need to start hiding my money from myself.
- Being sober would be a lot easier if I liked myself.
- Sometimes I get really mad at myself, but not like mad enough to fight myself or anything like that.
Witty myself quotes
- Hey girl, do you like my signals? I mixed them myself.
- I used to be cool and now I say things like “It’s so loud in here, I can’t hear myself think”.
- My superpower is embarrassing myself.
- Imagine hating me and i’m just over here doing a much better job at hating myself than any of y’all could do.
- That uncontrollable urge to hurt myself and others when a film’s subtitles are slightly out of sync.
- “It can’t get any worse than this”, I lie to myself knowing it will absolutely get worse.
- “It could be drugs,” I tell myself as I buy more books.
- I asked myself if I was toxic and we said no.
- “Still gangsta” I whisper to myself as I drink my chamomile tea with a heating pad on my back.
- Imagine hating me and I’m just over here hating myself.
Funny myself quotes remind us that nobody can mess with us like we mess with ourselves 😂. Whether it’s overthinking everything 🤯, hyping yourself up for no reason 🎤, or making questionable choices you knew were bad but did anyway 🤣, dealing with myself never gets boring. These quotes are perfect for anyone who knows that being stuck with yourself 24/7 comes with a lot of laughs 🙃. So embrace your quirks, enjoy the nonsense, and keep laughing at yourself 🤪!