New funny where quotes

• That moment in between Netflix episodes, where you see your reflection on the black screen and wonder what the hell you’re doing with your life.

• When I erase a word with a pencil, where does it go?

• They should invent a day where it all makes sense.

• My toxic trait is thinking I can nap, then waking up 3 hours later in a parallel universe where I missed everything.

• Sometimes I think the subway rat is doing better than me. He has a routine, a social circle, and knows where to find the best pizza.

• My gf doesn’t really like it when I talk about my ex, which means I now have a lot of stories from college where I’m just alone for some reason.

• Fall fashion: where we all transform into stylish, toasty marshmallows!

• They should invent a day where I feel normal.

• Reading Shakespeare for the first time is crazy because you go, “Oh, that’s where that comes from,” every other page.

• I need a vacation, but the kind where everyone else leaves, and I have my house to myself for a few days.

Top funny where quotes

• Wednesday is the part of the novel where the heroine stares out the window and questions everything.

• Congress taking an entire month off in a country where most people don’t get more than 2 weeks’ vacation is awesome.

• If we’ve got the technology to make heated car seats, then where the hell are the seats that automatically cool down in the summer? Make it happen, nerds.

• Where does everyone go to get kisses? I haven’t figured this out yet.

• I’m at the age where an uncomfortable bed will have me injured for a couple of days.

• My favourite yoga pose is the one where you lay really still and do nothing.

• The fine art of sticking my nose where it doesn’t belong.

• “You’re at the age where both 1990 and 2003 are flirting with you.”

• Welcome to your 50s, where coffee is the new happy hour and mornings are the new hangover.

• “Where did all your money go?” I’m either wearing it or eating it.

Popular funny where quotes

• Nobody makes songs about shawty anymore. Where is she?

• My favorite part of the Bible is where God says, put a cross emoji in your bio and cheer on the dehumanization of minorities.

• Is there a job where I can lay on the floor and listen to music?

• Why would I put money where my mouth is when wine exists?

• Situationship where the situation is being madly in love with each other.

• I have information that will lead to where your hug is at.

• Watching a movie and using a laser pointer to indicate where my fellow viewers should be looking for an optimal viewing experience.

• I have never read a Hacker News thread where any of the commenters seemed as if their life contained joy.

• I’m at the age where I have to warm up first before jumping to conclusions.

• The part where the music beat is going from your left ear to the right at different intervals.

More funny where quotes

• I hate being at the age where you feel obligated to buy your whole family gifts for Christmas, but also the age where your bank account doesn’t feel obligated to support that.

• There must be an opposite of suicide, where someone suddenly and radically decides to start living, and rescues their own life from meaninglessness.

• Libraries were a good start, but we need more places where people can’t talk.

• They should invent a Twitter where the timeline doesn’t refresh against your will.

• I bet there’s a couple of seconds on that medieval torture stretcher rack where it feels incredible.

• I put my bathroom scale in the corner, and that’s where the little liar will stay until it apologizes.

• My mom is asking each ornament, “Where do you want to live?” before putting them on the tree.

• My favorite Christmas Eve tradition is the one where I tell my kids we have to get the house spotless, or Santa won’t come.

• I hate it when I do the math about where my money went, and it all adds up. No one robbed me; I didn’t lose it. It was really all me.

• There is too much happening for mid-December. Where are the canceled meetings? Why are we not circling back next year?

Witty where quotes

• I’m at the age where I’m more likely to fall asleep at the movie theater than get frisky in one.

• I thought I liked seeing movies, but it turns out I like eating candy in a dark room where it’s illegal to talk to me.

• “I’m at that stage of Christmas shopping where I start buying myself presents.”

• I’m at the age where I see a huge, beautiful mansion in a movie and think, “How much does it cost to heat that house in the winter?”

• It scares me when you stay up late, like 3 a.m., and you hear a car go down the road, like, where are you going?

• I used to have this mental illness, where I thought putting your heart and soul into a relationship would make it work.

• I am officially at the age where old people think I am young and young people think I am old.

• I have this ability where I can look at someone’s profile picture and determine whether they are evil or not.

• Is stir-fry the only dish where the instructions are in the name?

• When someone loses something, I like to ask helpful questions like ‘Where did you last see it?’ and ‘Where did you put it?’ and ‘Where is it?’

Closing The Map On A World Where Everyone Is A Little Bit Lost

This concludes our search for the truth, though we still haven’t found where you parked the car or where you left your sunglasses (check the top of your head). 🚗🕶️ If these quotes hit a little too close to home, just remember that getting lost is just an unscheduled tour of a place you didn’t want to be anyway. 🗺️🚶‍♂️ Life isn’t about knowing exactly where you are at all times; it’s about looking like you have a destination while you’re actually just wandering around looking for a snack. Keep your eyes on the road and your GPS on high volume, because even if you don’t know where you’re going, you might as well enjoy the scenery. Now, go forth and find what you’re looking for—unless it’s your youth, in which case, I’ve got some bad news! ✌️😎🔎✨