Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

In general, I like company, but not when I am with my pizza.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

I can’t date until the curse is lifted.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

Being gracefully insane is the secret to staying somewhat sane in an insane world.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

“You look happy.” Thanks, I stopped dating.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

My bank account and I are no longer on speaking terms.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

People at the library need to learn how to be quiet. Some of us are trying to beatbox over here.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

Acting jealous while secretly cheating is a pure talent of witchcraft.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

The older I get, the more I realize how much I love being at home, doing nothing.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

Thinking of starting a club for people who don’t like to leave their house. There are no meetings.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

I know it’s bad, and you’ve got to shut it down right away, but is there anything more hilarious than a swearing toddler?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,300

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via X:

I should’ve been an air conditioner because all I do is vent.

Seen just now on Messenger:

This summer I’m going cicada mode: emerging briefly from my house and being really loud until I find a mate.

Just landed via Telegram:

Don’t let anyone treat you like pond water. You are Fiji water, okay?

Freshly posted on Threads:

I enjoy driving because it combines my desire to sit with my talent for being angry.

Just landed via Twitch:

I once had a psychic girlfriend, she left me before we met.

Trending via Slack:

“This would be better if there was cake” really does ring true in any situation.

Seen just now on X:

Millennials are so young because we were never allowed to grow up. Still living like broke college kids in our 40s.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

I’m 6 donuts away from being the elephant in the room.

Breaking via Twitch:

If swimming is such good exercise, explain whales.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I tiptoe near my medicine cabinet because I don’t want to wake my sleeping pills.

Accordion to a recent survey, inserting musical instruments into sentences largely goes unnoticed.

1 month ago

Witty text about how inserting musical instruments into sentences often goes unnoticed.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, that's some sharp thinking – whoever said puns aren't instrumental to humor clearly hasn't hit the right notes! 🎵😄 It seems like inserting musical instruments into sentences is a symphony of sarcasm waiting to be appreciated! 🎶😆

accordion, humor, instrument, joke, musical, musical instrument, sentence, survey, unnoticed, wordplay

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

95 shares on TikTok this month:

Forget about “long story short”… I’m gonna start saying “short story long,” and take you on a journey you didn’t ask for.

27 shares on Slack this month:

Neurodivergents will be like, ‘I’m so tired,’ and then refuse to sleep because they haven’t had enough me time after surviving the day.

79 shares on Snapchat this month:

I want to live in a world where the plural of moose is mooses.

100 shares on Threads this month:

My mom always used to tell me that I look cute when I sleep. My boss has a different opinion.

69 shares on Threads this month:

I missed out on drowning tragically young in a suburban swimming pool.

71 shares on Slack this month:

The main function of the little toe on your foot is to make sure that all the objects and furniture in the house are in the correct place.

50 shares on Telegram this month:

Stop blaming yourself for your failures. Learn astrology and blame the planets.

34 shares on WeChat this month:

Dropped my skinny boyfriend between the bed and the wall like a vape or a TV remote.

11 shares on Slack this month:

If I had just one hour left to live, I’d spend it in Math class… it never ends.

34 shares on Twitch this month:

Relationship status: my last pickpocket had really gentle hands.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

There should be a true crime story about feeding someone a peanut butter sandwich and giving them nothing to drink.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

People on Facebook be like “can anyone tell me about a thing I can easily Google myself?”

19 folks are currently checking 👀

We argue about where to go for dinner for so long, it eventually becomes an argument on where to go for breakfast.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

A simple “hi” can be the beginning of two years of therapy.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Aliens are gonna be super confused when they show up threatening to overthrow our leaders and we’re all stoked and offer to help.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to your 50s, your joints are now meteorologists.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

The most important thing to remember when driving is that not everyone is smart.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

No longer praying on your downfall. I will be directly involved.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m going to be real with you. My dinners lately are just sort of me throwing things into a pot like a witch in a cartoon.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I didn’t get the part of the brain that lets you relax, just the one that overthinks.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,383

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

My wife bought new towels and they’re different colors, so I know the entire color scheme of my house is about to change.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

It’s cool how seeing a less flattering photo of an attractive friend does not change my perception of them at all, but seeing one of myself makes me want to jump off a bridge.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

If only guys would moan in bed like they do in the gym…

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

Might quit my job to focus on actually putting away my laundry.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

When I’m president, everyone who listens to techno, house or rap will be allowed to drive a little faster than others.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

Shazam, but for whatever the hell goes on in the apartment upstairs.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

There’s some gifs that I’ve started to act out in real life as responses to situations.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

Taking my heart off my sleeve, I fold it up neatly and carefully place it back inside my chest.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

I always bring a glass of water to bed with me so I have something to knock over in the middle of the night.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

90% of the ocean is unexplored, which means there could be a McDonald’s down there.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Maybe one day a street will be named after me. Or a school. Or a mental hospital.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

The first person to see a peacock spread his tail probably had a heart attack.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Why did they call it K-pop and not Seoul music?

Live now on Pinterest:

Marry someone the same size as you to avoid decades of annoyance adjusting the seats and mirrors in the car.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Been whispering “I like invented her” about my newborn every few hours.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I hope the coffee hits harder than reality does.

Making waves on Reddit:

This book ain’t got no pictures.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Met a microbiologist once. They’re a lot bigger than I imagined.

Shared recently on Messenger:

My issue with Jeopardy is that you never get the sense that the contestants are in any real danger.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Recovering people pleasers will be like, “I’m in my villain era!” and it’s just politely drawing healthy boundaries.

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