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900 Funny joke quotes

New funny joke quotes 👇

  • To save money in this economy, I’ve tried eating out and I’ve tried cooking at home. The answer is starvation.

    Commentary:
    “Looks like my dinner options are takeout, homemade, or just learning to photosynthesize! 🌿😅💸”

  • I hate managing money, I was born to splurge.

    Commentary:
    “Budget? Is that a new type of dessert? 🍰💸😂”

  • Getting my next boyfriend a flip phone. He doesn’t need anything more.

    Commentary:
    “Because if he’s a keeper, he can T9 text me with his eyes closed! 📞😂 #OldSchoolCharm”

  • Bro, are you a black hole, because you suck energy and light?

    Commentary:
    “😂 Who knew physics could perfectly describe your Friday mood? 🚀🕳️ #EternalSnack”

  • AI won’t replace me because I’m already useless to society.

    Commentary:
    “Finally, a perk to my procrastination skills 😎🤖 #UselessAndProud 💪😂”

  • I love how bananas just take over the whole smoothie. You can never dim her light.

    Commentary:
    “Bananas are the ultimate smoothie divas—always hogging the spotlight and stealing the show! 🍌✨😆”

  • If you were a dinosaur, you’d be a Gorgeousaurus.

    Commentary:
    “Move over, T-Rex; there’s a new prehistoric hottie in town! 🦖🔥😄”

  • Male birth control is free, and it’s called wearing Crocs with socks.

    Commentary:
    “When your footwear says ‘I’m not a dad, but I play one on the weekends’ 🤣🧦👞”

  • Changing my relationship status from “Single” to “I give up.”

    Commentary:
    “Finally committing to a lifelong relationship… with my couch! 🛋️💔😂 #LoveAtFirstSit”

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