Funny Quotes Pictures

Thursday is really unnecessary. Today could’ve been Friday.
I think humans are meant to lay in bed with the love of their life all winter.
Trust my gut? The thing that makes weird gurgling noises immediately when a work meeting goes quiet.
If, I, want to, put, a comma, there, then, I will put, the comma, there.
Starting your most incoherent sentence with "put simply" to deflect blame onto the reader.
A haunted house but in every room someone is asking you to say a little something about yourself.
I make her eyes roll back. Not in bed though. I'm just annoying.
Before they perfected the Q-tip, you have to wonder what kinds of horrific things went wrong with tips A-P.
I'm sorry your man wears his sunglasses on the back of his head.
Dear Aliens, Now would be a good time. Thanks!
I like to stay grounded by keeping the weight of the world on my shoulders.
Men shouldn't be allowed to download any app other than Wikipedia.
Doesn't matter, Your Honor! I, for one, found it very funny.
If you think about it, Santa really has the best job, he works one day a year and spends the rest of his time judging people.
She is both the storm and the shelter.
I keep my mind active by worrying.
Your honor, if it pleases the court, here’s Wonderwall.
I am not leaving this house until my hoodie strings are even.
Wow, this was a really long day of playing on my phone.
I get you, bowel syndrome. I'm irritable, too.