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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

Life begins when you can afford it.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

One of the best examples of someone posing a question that they already know the answer to is the WeightWatchers website asking me if I accept cookies.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

If you’re thinking of becoming a parent, just imagine working 6,570 days straight without a day off.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

I need a button in Zoom meetings where it just freezes my screen and makes it look like I’m having network issues.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

You gotta be careful: don’t say a word to nobody about nothing anytime ever.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

Ping me if your boobs glow in the dark.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

There’s no better feeling than coming home and immediately changing into your Adam Sandler fit.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

If I’m ever the problem, you’re the reason.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

I could never be in the mafia, those guys stay up way to late.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

I’m so old, I still drink my coffee at home in the morning. From a real cup.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Jan 2, 2026

3,661

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via WeChat:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but that much caffeine can’t be good for you.

Seen just now on X:

Some people are like sunglasses: your day just becomes so much brighter when you accidentally drop them off the side of the boat.

Shared recently on Telegram:

My diet plan is sometimes, when I’m eating chips, I drop some on the floor, and I don’t eat those ones.

Trending via WhatsApp:

All the world’s a stage, and I always forget my line.

Making waves on WeChat:

If oats can be milk, you can be whatever you want.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

People should be allowed to leave work early if they want to go see a movie.

Live now on TikTok:

The haters said I couldn’t do it. And the haters? They were right. They were correct. They even nailed the small details, frankly it’s amazing.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Odd—my boss told me to meet him at the abandoned quarry at midnight for my performance evaluation.

Live now on Messenger:

Twitter is cool because you can figure out what’s going on in the world through memes instead of watching the news.

Seen just now on X:

Life’s too short to remove the USB drive safely.

Funny apathy quotes

Funny apathy quotes 😎💤 are the perfect way to laugh at life’s “meh” moments without breaking a sweat. Whether you’re too chill to care or just mastering the art of indifference, these witty lines will have you grinning and shrugging at the same time 🙃✨. Ready to embrace your inner slacker with style? Let’s dive into some humor that’s as laid-back as you are! 😂🙌

New funny apathy quotes 👇

I really don’t care what happens to me romantically anymore.

0

2 weeks ago

apathy, care, dating, emotion, humor, i, indifference, love, me, relationship, romance
Once you realize that no one really cares how you’re doing, it becomes much easier to answer the question.

0

2 months ago

answer, apathy, doing, easier, honesty, indifference, interaction, much, once, question, realization, realize, social, social interaction
It turns out, as you get older, you don’t actually figure anything out; you just don’t have any energy to care anymore.

0

2 months ago

actually, aging, aging humor, aging joke, anything, apathy, care, cynicism, energy, figure, humor, joke, just, life, life perspective, older, perspective, wisdom
The lion doesn’t concern himself with much of anything these days.

0

2 months ago

anything, apathy, attitude, carefree, concern, confidence, days, humor, lion, much, relaxation
If you listen closely, you can hear me not caring.

0

2 months ago

apathy, care, humor, indifference, listening, me, sarcasm, wit
I’m not actively avoiding you. I don’t actively do anything.

0

2 months ago

activity, apathy, avoidance, humor, i, interaction, laziness, procrastination, social, social interaction
I don’t understand, but I also don’t care… so it works out.

0

2 months ago

apathy, attitude, care, confusion, humor, i, life, life attitude, understand, works
The greatest allies fascism and genocide have are the people who say, “I don’t follow the news, it’s too depressing.”

0

3 months ago

ally, apathy, awareness, current, current event, depressing, depression, event, fascism, follow, genocide, i, news, people, say, too
Eating Halloween candy and putting up my Christmas tree because nothing matters anymore.

0

4 months ago

apathy, candy, Christmas, Christmas tree, coping, coping mechanism, decoration, eating, Halloween, Halloween candy, holiday, holiday season, humor, matters, mechanism, nothing, procrastination, putting, season, tree
Good news, I just decided I don’t care about anything anymore.

0

6 months ago

anything, apathy, attitude, care, decision, good, humor, i, indifference, just, news, sarcasm

All funny apathy quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

38 shares on Facebook this month:

AI won’t replace me because I’m already useless to society.

16 shares on Telegram this month:

People would be more motivated to lose weight if the weight they lost went on to someone they didn’t like.

23 shares on Instagram this month:

Onesies are amazing till you have to really pee in the middle of the night then you question all your life’s decisions.

44 shares on X this month:

I’ve touched enough cacti to know they are sharp, but also not enough to stop touching cacti.

85 shares on Snapchat this month:

No matter how weird things seem to get, there’s always an episode of The Twilight Zone that was eerily similar.

42 shares on Twitch this month:

Had chicken and egg for dinner because I wanted to eat the whole family.

79 shares on WeChat this month:

They get real weird at the gun store if you walk in crying and asking for “the biggest one”.

37 shares on Discord this month:

I tried to act normal once, worst five minutes of my life.

69 shares on Messenger this month:

Overthinking should at least burn calories.

56 shares on X this month:

Is ChatGPT down for anyone else? I’m a cardiac surgeon in the middle of heart surgery.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Can I do better? Yes. Will I do better? Probably not.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s amazing to think that a Penguin wrote all of those classic books.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

On my way to Mordor. You nerds need anything?

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I love the smell of freshly brewed delusions in the morning.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to middle age: your chin looks lonely; here’s another one.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

He’s making a list, he’s checking it twice, he’s leaving the store, he still forgot milk.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes you need to turn the music up louder and sort your shit out.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Women only want one thing and it is to walk down a dimly-lit cobblestone street with the devil.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

You don’t see people giving bunny ears in photos anymore.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Parents be like “don’t believe everything you see on the internet” then believe everything they see on Facebook.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,565

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

Do you think I’ll read a book again at some point or will I continue to dumb myself down with 12 hours of screen time?

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

My favorite machine at the gym is the vending machine.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

My ideal vacation would be to drop my family off at the airport and then have a week of peace and quiet.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

What have I done to deserve this? Oh yeah, right, I remember.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

A fun thing to do on a first date is wear a wedding dress.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

That awkward moment when someone is doing the dishes, and you slowly put your dish in the sink.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

I’m not “late”, I’m just very creative with my interpretation of “time”.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

The reason I stay up late is because I don’t want my free time to end, and tomorrow to start.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

Had to sit with a straight face while my landlord told me I was paying his rent and mortgage for him.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

If kids these days had a perfume, it would be called Audacity.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on X:

I avoid drama by being unpopular.

Trending via YouTube:

Roses are red. Blue got me thinking. I reckon it’s time for some excessive day drinking…

Just shared via X:

My husband keeps borrowing and losing my tweezers, so I’m naming this chin hair after him.

Trending via YouTube:

I hope “be the light you want to see in the world” doesn’t refer to Molotov Cocktails.

Just landed via Messenger:

Commenting “This could be us” on her pics with her boyfriend.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Another beautiful day, ruined by responsibility.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Clicking on a suspicious link at work just to feel something.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Drinking at home is convenient, sure, but it’s nothing like the experience of leaving the pub feeling fifty bucks lighter.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Pleasantly surprised to discover the treadmill I bought came with a remote control, so I can run it from my recliner.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

If Dracula had a cat, she’d be the one sleeping in the coffin.

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