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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

People who don’t talk to themselves are the weird ones.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

I don’t understand why people have to “get ready for bed.” I am always ready for bed.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

I like to people-watch, but I’m an advanced people-watcher. When I spot another people-watcher, I like to watch them watching other people.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

Twitter will always be your best app if you’re single, funny, or just depressed.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

People aren’t so bad if you stay indoors and don’t talk to them.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

My morning routine includes 20 minutes of staring at the ceiling thinking about how tired I am and debating if I really need to live today.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

I have found that there is usually a lot of day left at the end of my patience.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

Sometimes I think the subway rat is doing better than me. He has a routine, a social circle, and knows where to find the best pizza.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

Hearing my voice in recording makes me wanna apologize to every person I talked to.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

So why is it that when Star Trek ‘boldly go where no one has gone before’ they always find someone there?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 19, 2026

3,385

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on X:

Okay, this integrity isn’t going to compromise itself.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Millennials are just 30-40-year-olds who look 20-30 years old and feel 80-90 years old.

Making waves on TikTok:

Laziness is the art to rest before one gets tired.

Trending via Messenger:

Frankly, I have too many situations and not enough monitors.

Spotted on Facebook:

Look, 80’s kids went from Inspector Gadget to Terminator so we have a lot of mixed feelings about technology.

Just landed via YouTube:

Golf would be more exciting to watch if they played naked.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

So apparently if they ask “do you trust me?”, replying with “well, I trust you to be you” is the incorrect response.

Making waves on TikTok:

Sorry I missed your call when I pressed decline.

Going viral on WeChat:

Relationship tip: Make sure you’re the crazy one.

Shared recently on X:

The first people who called chocolate a vegetable are the real heroes.

94 Funny believe quotes

Funny believe quotes 🤣✨ are a delightful blend of humor and wisdom, perfect for adding a chuckle to your day! Whether you’re seeking a lighthearted perspective on life’s mysteries or just need a good laugh, these quotes remind us not to take everything too seriously. Dive into a world where belief meets hilarity, and let your worries melt away with a smile. Get ready to giggle and believe in the power of humor! 😄🌟

New funny believe quotes 👇

Still hard to believe that access to infinite information made us dumber.

3 hours ago

access, believe, hard, humor, infinite, information, intelligence, irony, paradox, still, technology, us
I can’t believe bedtime used to be a punishment.

3 hours ago

bedtime, believe, childhood, humor, i, irony, nostalgia, parenting, punishment, sleep, used
I believe in Bigfoot because Bigfoot believes in me.

6 hours ago

belief, believe, Bigfoot, creature, humor, i, me, mutual, mutual belief, mythical, mythical creature
I can’t believe we became the adults in the most unaffordable period in history.

10 hours ago

adult, adults, affordability, believe, disbelief, economy, history, i, most, period, unaffordable
I don’t believe the phrase “if they wanted to, they would,” because I want to, and I don’t.

1 day ago

attitude, believe, desire, honesty, humor, i, motivation, phrase, truth, want, wanted, willpower
Sawing a hole in a table from underneath to steal a cake is a lot harder than cartoons would have you believe.

1 day ago

believe, cake, cartoons, harder, hole, lot, steal, table
Babe, you have to believe me. I followed that porn star because I like her political views.

1 week ago

babe, believe, dating, excuse, humor, i, lie, me, media, political, politics, porn, porn star, relationship, social, social media, star, views
I believe libraries are our proof that we once valued curiosity.

2 weeks ago

believe, curiosity, humor, i, library, once, proof, value
Can’t believe my neighbor rang my doorbell at 3 a.m. last night… Luckily, I was still up playing the drums.

2 weeks ago

3, 3 a.m., a.m., am, believe, doorbell, drums, funny situation, i, last, late, late night, neighbor, night, noise, playing, playing drums, situation, still, unexpected, unexpected visit, visit
What no one ever considers is that the kids are pretending to believe in Santa for the sake of the parents.

3 weeks ago

belief, believe, childhood, ever, family, holiday, humor, kid, kids, parent, parents, pretend, pretending, Santa

For even more funny believe quotes, hit next 👇

All funny believe quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

79 shares on TikTok this month:

Saying “essentially” is a more sophisticated way of saying “basically.

83 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m blunt because the universe rolled me that way.

88 shares on Snapchat this month:

I wish pets lived longer, and life wasn’t so expensive, and cake didn’t make you fat, and people weren’t twats.

55 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Rich people go to parties. It’s what they do, and somehow we must all watch videos of it.

25 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If you’re 20, please stop saying you’re tired. I have bananas older than you.

21 shares on Messenger this month:

Whoever said money can’t buy happiness simply didn’t know where to go shopping.

68 shares on Pinterest this month:

“Baby on board” Okay, well, can you tell him to drive faster?

34 shares on X this month:

Social media is a great way to make new enemies.

84 shares on Twitch this month:

“Just circling back on this.” – “Take another lap.”

64 shares on X this month:

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here trying to remember how to spell “definitely”.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

They should invent a grocery store that’s just for me and no one else.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

That “never again” talk with yourself after a certain experience is always funny.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

When I was young, I was afraid of the dark. Now, these bills got me afraid of the light.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Girls really only want one simple thing; and that one thing is all of your attention.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to my very loose interpretation of ‘functioning adult’.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not “late”, I’m just very creative with my interpretation of “time”.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Oasis didn’t just write good songs. They wrote the soundtrack for a whole generation.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

People out here living double lives, and I’m barely even holding a single life together.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Christmas is the season of giving, and I’m giving up for good.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

This gratitude journal looks a lot like a grocery list.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,309

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

Marriage tip: If your wife goes silent in the middle of an argument, you probably shouldn’t ask if you can go back to mowing the lawn.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

Holiday dinners with family are like real life boss levels with the worst loot.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

A perfect parent is a person with excellent child-rearing theories and no actual children.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

Absent father sucks, but have you met the final boss, the father who is actually in your life every day but emotionally unavailable, lol.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

Everyone’s a gangster until they turn a spoon the wrong way under running water.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

I’ve never met a problem I couldn’t make worse.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

My kids act like they’re afraid of monsters, when they are literally the most terrifying creatures I’ve ever met.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

Dear Santa, I’ve been good all year. Most of the time. Once in a while. Never mind, I’ll buy my own stuff.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

Having to pee when you’re driving is problematic. Having to sneeze when you’re driving is even more problematic.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

If I met someone like me, I’d be really concerned for them.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on X:

Whenever I lose my faith in justice, I look at the high school beauties from back then today. Then I’m fine again.

Shared recently on Reddit:

It’s okay, facial recognition. I don’t recognize myself anymore either.

Making waves on TikTok:

I use a headshot from 2008 on my LinkedIn to prepare future employers for disappointment.

Just landed via WeChat:

Everybody hates me for being a beautiful angel with a perfect soul.

Going viral on Reddit:

I caught two kids smoking pot outside my office. Fifteen minutes later, my boss caught me and two kids smoking pot outside my office.

Making waves on Instagram:

Sports bars exist. There should be bars for monitoring the situation.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

“I read 20 books this year!” That’s nothing. I read 50,000 tweets.

Seen just now on Threads:

If I was ever told to “dress to impress”, my first thought would be to get the Batman suit out.

Breaking via Pinterest:

A freshly cleaned bathroom triggers an irresistible urge in men to trim their beard.

Shared recently on Facebook:

In your 20s, there will be an evil narcissist demon disguised as the man of your dreams. It’s important that you run from that loser before he steals your light.

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