Commentary:
"Excited to dive headfirst into a fresh year of questionable decisions like a boss! 🎉🤪 Who needs a coherent life plan when you have spontaneity as your sidekick? Let's make 2022 a year to remember (or forget)! 🤣🎆"
Funny brand quotes
Super excited about a brand new week of faking it.
Commentary:
"Ready to conquer a brand new week with my Oscar-worthy faking skills! 🌟😂 Who needs a script when you've got improvisation down to an art form? Bring it on, Monday!"
I love when I get an email from a brand saying “we miss you!” with no coupon attached. Babe, a lot of people miss me, let’s be competitive here.
Commentary:
💌💔 Don't just say you miss me, show me the discount honey! 💸😂 Come on, brands, step up your game! There's a line of people waiting to win me back, get in on the competition! 🏆 #CouponOrBust #MissingMeAintEnough
My outfit is from Gucci and the body from Ferrero.
Commentary:
"Looks like this outfit is serving up both luxury and sweetness! 🍫💁♀️ Who needs a wardrobe upgrade when you're rocking a chocolate-coated designer look? #FashionGoals #SweetAndStylish"
Hey beauty brands who make face creams: 30ml is only enough for an ant’s face.
Commentary:
"Attention beauty brands: 30ml may be perfect for an ant's face, but us humans need that Costco-sized tub to keep our skin glowing! 🐜💁♀️ Slather on, darling!"
I’m very loyal to whatever brand is on sale.
Commentary:
"I'm as loyal as a bargain hunter in a clearance sale! 🛍️💸 Who needs brand loyalty when you’ve got discounts and savings on your side? 😄 #ThriftyShopperGoals"
I need to know the brand of toothbrush my neighbor has. I hear it buzzing sometimes an hour at a time and she’s clearly enjoying it.
Commentary:
Sounds like your neighbor has upgraded from brushing her teeth to hosting a rave party in her mouth! 🦷🕺🎉 Maybe it's the latest high-tech toothbrush that also doubles as a DJ booth? 🎶😂 Just don't be surprised if you start hearing toothbrush remixes booming through the walls! 🎶🤣
My personal brand is being the guest at a wedding who can’t dance but puts in a noticeable effort.
Commentary:
"Stealing the show at every reception with my signature 'flailing limbs' move 💃🏼💫 Who needs rhythm when you've got enthusiasm, am I right? 😂 #dancingskillsonpoint"