Funny brand quotes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Super excited about a brand new week of hanging on by a thread.

  Commentary:
  "Ready to tackle Monday like a boss, even if it means holding on to that thread for dear life! 🤣💪 Bring it on, week, we'll keep hanging in there like the resilient champs we are! 🙌 #MondayMotivation"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Super excited about a brand new day of ignoring my problems.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the art of procrastination disguised as enthusiasm! 🌞 Ignoring problems like a pro! 🙈 Who needs solutions when we have a brand new day to ignore them, right? 😂 #ProcrastinationGoals"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Super excited about a brand new year full of questionable life choices.

  Commentary:
  "Excited to dive headfirst into a fresh year of questionable decisions like a boss! 🎉🤪 Who needs a coherent life plan when you have spontaneity as your sidekick? Let's make 2022 a year to remember (or forget)! 🤣🎆"

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  6 months ago

  Share →: Super excited about a brand new week of faking it.

  Commentary:
  "Ready to conquer a brand new week with my Oscar-worthy faking skills! 🌟😂 Who needs a script when you've got improvisation down to an art form? Bring it on, Monday!"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: I love when I get an email from a brand saying “we miss you!” with no coupon attached. Babe, a lot of people miss me, let’s be competitive here.

  Commentary:
  💌💔 Don't just say you miss me, show me the discount honey! 💸😂 Come on, brands, step up your game! There's a line of people waiting to win me back, get in on the competition! 🏆 #CouponOrBust #MissingMeAintEnough

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: My outfit is from Gucci and the body from Ferrero.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like this outfit is serving up both luxury and sweetness! 🍫💁‍♀️ Who needs a wardrobe upgrade when you're rocking a chocolate-coated designer look? #FashionGoals #SweetAndStylish"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: Hey beauty brands who make face creams: 30ml is only enough for an ant’s face.

  Commentary:
  "Attention beauty brands: 30ml may be perfect for an ant's face, but us humans need that Costco-sized tub to keep our skin glowing! 🐜💁‍♀️ Slather on, darling!"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: I’m very loyal to whatever brand is on sale.

  Commentary:
  "I'm as loyal as a bargain hunter in a clearance sale! 🛍️💸 Who needs brand loyalty when you’ve got discounts and savings on your side? 😄 #ThriftyShopperGoals"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: I need to know the brand of toothbrush my neighbor has. I hear it buzzing sometimes an hour at a time and she’s clearly enjoying it.

  Commentary:
  Sounds like your neighbor has upgraded from brushing her teeth to hosting a rave party in her mouth! 🦷🕺🎉 Maybe it's the latest high-tech toothbrush that also doubles as a DJ booth? 🎶😂 Just don't be surprised if you start hearing toothbrush remixes booming through the walls! 🎶🤣

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: My personal brand is being the guest at a wedding who can’t dance but puts in a noticeable effort.

  Commentary:
  "Stealing the show at every reception with my signature 'flailing limbs' move 💃🏼💫 Who needs rhythm when you've got enthusiasm, am I right? 😂 #dancingskillsonpoint"

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