Super excited about a brand new week of faking it.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

Yes, I’m full of microplastics, but it’s actually been helpful. It’s given me superpowers. I can communicate with Tupperware.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

If you ever get locked out of your house, talk calmly to the lock. We all know that communication is the key.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

The trick is to not let people know how weird you are until it’s too late for them to back out.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

Traveling long distance without earphones feels like you’re serving a jail term.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

Parents be like “why aren’t you eating, don’t you like my food?” and after you eat a ton, they’ll say “you look a little chubby, maybe you should eat less.”

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

I’m buysexual, you buy me food, I become sexual.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

89% of the time when my husband tells me I look great, what he really means is, “We needed to leave five minutes ago.”

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

My husband refused to get glasses. But that was before he brushed his teeth with fake tan.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

“The average CEO reads 52 books a year.” Yeah, because they’ve got nothing else to do.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

Right now somebody’s therapist is hearing about YOU.