Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

If it turns cold one more time, I’m gonna put the Christmas tree back up.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

This year felt like being awake during surgery.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

Shout out to Yamaha for being like, “Here’s a cool motorcycle. Also, here’s a cool piano.”

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

I think Bigfoot had it right, stay in hiding from all the shitty human beings.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

This salad tastes like I’d rather be fat.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

As per my last curse, I have no interest in this.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

Marriage tip: If your wife goes silent in the middle of an argument, you probably shouldn’t ask if you can go back to mowing the lawn.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

Maybe Baby wants to be put in the corner.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

Is there a job where I can lay on the floor and listen to music?

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

Autocorrect is like a tiny person inside your phone that sometimes gets drunk and says the dumbest things.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,296

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Telegram:

The thing I bought on Etsy in 2017 has shipped.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Kinda rude when I spend money, and it actually leaves my bank account. But okay.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I always cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I don’t think I’d get married again, but I would like to annoy someone until one of us is dead.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I am the human version of tangled headphones.

Just shared via Instagram:

That incredible ability of cats to only throw up on carpeted floors.

Just landed via Telegram:

Oxygen was discovered in 1773. How did our ancestors breathe before then?

Broadcasted on X:

I can’t be the only person who thinks the presidential debate should be performed as a rap battle.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

“Nah.” – everyone with an office job, from the Monday after Thanksgiving until January 2nd.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Thank you for contacting the abyss. Your scream is very important to us.

Funny break up quotes

Funny break up quotes bring laughter to those awkward moments when love takes a wrong turn 💔😂. Whether you’re healing or just need a good chuckle, these witty one-liners turn heartbreak into humor 🌟🤣. Perfect for sharing with friends or brightening your day, they remind us that sometimes, the best way to move on is with a smile 😎💬. Ready to laugh your way through the breakup blues? Let’s dive in! 🎉💕

New funny break up quotes 👇

All funny break up quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

69 shares on Messenger this month:

I use subtitles so if I learn anything interesting I can say “I was reading about” instead of “I saw on an episode of Love Island”

49 shares on YouTube this month:

Sometimes when I get negative feedback I’m like “Hey, only I get to talk to myself that way”.

99 shares on Twitch this month:

The shrooms told me that we need to get our shit together. That humanity is a bundle of bad habits. I’m headed back in a few weeks, and they need a response from us. What do I tell them?

21 shares on Pinterest this month:

The purpose of life is to go insane sooner or later.

49 shares on Twitch this month:

Having children is like living in a frat house – nobody sleeps, everything’s broken, and there’s a lot of throwing up.

91 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I hate when a guy asks “can you cook?” Can you build a house?

48 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Big fan of calling artists their first name and then the band name as their last name.

91 shares on WeChat this month:

Men microdose bicuriousness by asking what you’d do for a million dollars.

83 shares on Threads this month:

Getting old would be so fun if you didn’t wake up each morning with neck pain that suggests you slept hanging upside down like a bat.

64 shares on X this month:

I have lived way too many lives for people to think they know everything about me.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t have a new year resolution, you don’t need that when you’re perfect.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

When butterflies fall in love, do they feel humans in their stomachs?

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Misses Claus only married Santa because of his big sack.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Going to therapy is like having someone walk around your brain and going “ohhhh, this is how you’re living?!”

20 folks are currently checking 👀

You should never donate to people that collect money for marathons. They just take your money and run.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m sick of the Microsoft Authenticator. Like, who would be logging in to do my work?

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Nonchalant men are not for me. I want mine to have a panic attack if we’re not talking.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Good morning only to those who duel at dawn, drink at dusk, and haunt their lovers in between.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

No one flirts better than a guy who’s not interested in you.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I have everything you could possibly ever need in my purse, except for money.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,579

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

I wanna meet the person whose parents are super disappointed he went to medical school instead of becoming a stand-up comedian.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

Unless I ask, I genuinely don’t care to hear other people’s opinions on my life. It’s almost a pet peeve, really.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

People will name their dog Steve and have two kids named Buddy and Rocket.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

My body’s check engine light has been on for years.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

Friends are God’s way of apologizing to us for our families.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

Just imagine if farting were as contagious as yawning.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

“Each to their own!” Translation: You’re wrong, but never mind.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

Parent hack: Shut your child’s bedroom door to make your house cleaner.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

Accidentally became important at work and it’s ruining my life.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

My ego is bruised so I’m going to ice it with some cold beer.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Discord:

Promising I won’t tell anyone your secret doesn’t include my husband. He’s basically my diary.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

My life is a movie, and it has a 47% on Rotten Tomatoes.

Just landed via YouTube:

If hot showers aren’t good for you then why do I emerge from them bright red like a beautiful ruby?

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Called in, “I put the lime in the coconut and drank it all up.”

Just shared via Reddit:

Well, well, well, if it isn’t the same bill I couldn’t afford to pay in a different color.

Spotted on Slack:

Children are so giving. For example, my kids gave me a cold.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

If I ever go missing, promise me that you won’t put my weight on the poster.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Nothing prepared me for how much of my adult life would be spent hiding from people I know at the grocery store.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Only after moving in together do you realize your girlfriend’s little quirks. Mine, for example, stores vegetables in the beer compartment.

Just landed via Reddit:

I have two dogs: one dominates, the other is a subwoofer.

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