Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re searching “Thanksgiving recipes that won’t cause heartburn.”

Commentary:
Oh, the quintessential journey from youthful exuberance to culinary caution! 🦃🔥 It's the aging process – evolving from party animal to probiotic promoter in the blink of an eye! 🎉👵 Embrace the transition and remember, there's still room for a little pumpkin pie… with a side of antacid! 🥧👀 #AgingGracefully #TurkeyTales
6 months ago
Share →: Nicole Kidman being in a film called Babygirl is actually perfect cause it’s like another version of her last name.

Commentary:
💁‍♀️👶 What a clever observation! Nicole Kidman starring in a movie called Babygirl is just too fitting – it's like a playful nod to her surname! No wonder she shines in roles that are simply meant to be 👏 #PerfectMatch #BabygirlNicole
6 months ago
Share →: Friday the 13th doesn’t even feel creepy cause bad things happen everyday now.

Commentary:
"Ah, Friday the 13th – just another day in the life when bad luck is like, 'hold my beer' 🍀🌙 Why be afraid of superstitions when reality is out here pulling pranks every day? 😅 #FridayVibes"
6 months ago
Share →: Shoulda named my daughter Calculus cause damn she’s complicated.

Commentary:
"Maybe it's time to add 'Calculus' to the list of potential baby names! 🤔📚 Who knew math could be so relatable? 😂 #DadJokes"
6 months ago
Share →: When I was a kid, there were two ways to die, natural causes and talking back to your parents.

Commentary:
Ah, the good ol' days when the greatest threat to our mortality was a stern look from mom or dad 😅👀. Better watch your sass, or you might just find yourself in the graveyard of "talking back to parents!" ⚰️👪
6 months ago
Share →: The main cause of immigration is we’re still a country where people want to go, but we’re working on fixing that.

Commentary:
"Looks like everyone wants a piece of the American dream, but shhh, don't mention the broken bits! 🤫✈️ #immigrationwoes"
6 months ago
Share →: I’m not a very good poker player cause my eyes turn into big dollar signs when I see that I have a good hand.

Commentary:
When this player has a good hand, you can practically see the dollar signs glowing in their eyes! 💰😂 Bet you can always tell when they've got something good up their sleeve – just look for the shimmer of those big money signs! 👀💲#PokerFaceFail
6 months ago
Share →: Even though he murders a lot of people, you can tell Freddie Kruger is a fun loving guy cause he goes by Freddie and not Fred or Frederick.

Commentary:
"Freddie Krueger definitely knows how to keep it light and breezy, especially considering his…uh, unique line of work! 😅 Who knew a name preference could be the key to showcasing your fun-loving side amidst all the slashing and dashing? 🔪😄 #FreddieVsFred"
6 months ago
Share →: If you’re partying with your cousin and you’re asked if you’re related, “Our parents are siblings” will cause a lot of confusion.

Commentary:
🎉 "When you're hitting the dance floor with your cousin and someone questions your family tree, just drop the bombshell: 'Our parents are siblings.' Cue the collective gasps and eyebrow raises! Nothing like a little familial twist to spice up the party conversation. 🤪💃 #CousinCraziness"
6 months ago
Share →: Good morning to everyone except myself cause I wish I was still asleep.

Commentary:
"Good morning to all the early birds out there, flying high while the rest of us dream about hitting the snooze button for the 100th time! 😴🐦 Rise and shine…or just rise and hope for more coffee ☕️ #SleepyHead"