16 Funny divine quotes

• I firmly believe that at this point my guardian angel is just eating popcorn and watching the drama.

  ---

  5 hours ago

  angel, believe, divine, divine humor, drama, eating, entertainment, guardian, guardian angel, humor, i, just, observation, point, popcorn, watching

• My guardian angel is taking the longest smoking break in recorded history.

  ---

  14 hours ago

  angel, break, divine, divine intervention, guardian, guardian angel, history, humor, intervention, irony, longest, procrastination, smoking, smoking break, taking

• God: “You can’t just say ‘Goddammit!’ and expect Me to damn it. There’s a procedure. File the paperwork.”

  ---

  2 days ago

  divine, expectation, frustration, God, humor, irony, just, me, paperwork, procedure, say

• God: “I used to work in mysterious ways but now I’m unemployed.”

  ---

  3 days ago

  divine, God, humor, i, irony, joke, mysterious, mysterious ways, unemployed, unemployment, used, ways, work

• God: “You’re all really bad at this.”

  ---

  3 days ago

  bad, criticism, divine, God, humor, irony, life, perspective, self-reflection

• God: “You’re all a bunch of bastards and I should never have created you.”

  ---

  3 days ago

  bastards, creation, divine, existence, God, humor, i, irony, joke, never, religion, should

• I received my electricity bill. I think they billed me for sunlight, divine light, and the light at the end of the tunnel.

  ---

  3 days ago

  bill, divine, divine light, electricity, end, expenses, humor, i, joke, light, me, sunlight, think, tunnel

• God: “I don’t regret the Flood, but I do regret the Ark.”

  ---

  3 days ago

  ark, biblical, creation, divine, Flood, God, humor, i, irony, joke, regret

• God: “I genuinely don’t remember making you all this stupid.”

  ---

  3 days ago

  creation, divine, God, humor, i, irony, making, memory, remember, self-reflection, stupid, stupidity

• “God has a plan for you.” OK, is God open to a little feedback?

  ---

  2 weeks ago

  communication, divine, divine plan, feedback, God, humor, little, ok, open, plan, sarcasm

All funny divine quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌