16 Funny divine quotes

• Source? Divine intuition, gut instinct, and cryptic symbolism from my dreams.

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  4 weeks ago

  cryptic, divine, dream, dreams, gut, gut instinct, instinct, intuition, source, symbolism

• God doesn’t do nearly enough smiting anymore.

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  2 months ago

  divine, enough, God, humor, joke, religion, sarcasm, smiting

• I think God was high when he made me.

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  2 months ago

  confidence, divine, God, high, humor, humor quote, i, lighthearted, me, quirky, self-deprecating, think

• If there is a God and He “loves” us, then explain snakes.

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  2 months ago

  divine, explain, God, humor, irony, love, religion, skepticism, snakes, us

• I think God’s next test for me should be, “Can he handle a ridiculous amount of money.”

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  2 months ago

  amount, comedy, divine, divine test, faith, financial, financial success, gods, handle, humor, humorous, humorous quote, i, me, money, next, religion, ridiculous, sarcasm, should, success, test, think, wealth

• If sex was strictly meant for procreation, why did God make it feel so good?

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  2 months ago

  activity, divine, feel, fun, fun activity, God, good, humor, irony, meant, pleasure, procreation, religion, sex, why

• I firmly believe that at this point my guardian angel is just eating popcorn and watching the drama.

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  2 months ago

  angel, believe, divine, divine humor, drama, eating, entertainment, guardian, guardian angel, humor, i, just, observation, point, popcorn, watching

• My guardian angel is taking the longest smoking break in recorded history.

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  2 months ago

  angel, break, divine, divine intervention, guardian, guardian angel, history, humor, intervention, irony, longest, procrastination, smoking, smoking break, taking

• God: “You can’t just say ‘Goddammit!’ and expect Me to damn it. There’s a procedure. File the paperwork.”

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  2 months ago

  divine, expectation, frustration, God, humor, irony, just, me, paperwork, procedure, say

• God: “I used to work in mysterious ways but now I’m unemployed.”

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  2 months ago

  divine, God, humor, i, irony, joke, mysterious, mysterious ways, unemployed, unemployment, used, ways, work

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