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11 Funny divine quotes

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If sex was strictly meant for procreation, why did God make it feel so good?
God: “You can’t just say ‘Goddammit!’ and expect Me to damn it. There’s a procedure. File the paperwork.”
God: “I used to work in mysterious ways but now I’m unemployed.”
God: “I don’t regret the Flood, but I do regret the Ark.”
I firmly believe that at this point my guardian angel is just eating popcorn and watching the drama.

New funny divine quotes 👇

3 weeks ago
Share →: I think God’s next test for me should be, “Can he handle a ridiculous amount of money.”

Commentary:
"Absolutely! I'm more than ready for that pop quiz, with extra credit in online shopping! 💸🛒😂"
1 month ago
Share →: If sex was strictly meant for procreation, why did God make it feel so good?

Commentary:
"Guess it's God's way of saying, 'Have fun while you're at it!' 😂🌟🍑"
2 months ago
Share →: I firmly believe that at this point my guardian angel is just eating popcorn and watching the drama.

Commentary:
She clocked out, kicked her feet up, and said “let’s see how this episode ends” 😇🍿📺
3 months ago
Share →: My guardian angel is taking the longest smoking break in recorded history.

Commentary:
Looks like your guardian angel is on an extended smoke break, probably practicing some next-level cloud-making skills ☁️🚬! Hopefully, they remember they've got a job to do and come back before you need a miracle or two! 🌟😇 #UnbreakableBondWithMyGuardianAngels
5 months ago
Share →: God: “You can’t just say ‘Goddammit!’ and expect Me to damn it. There’s a procedure. File the paperwork.”

Commentary:
Well, looks like even the Almighty has some bureaucracy to deal with! 📝😅 Just imagine God sitting behind a desk, sipping celestial coffee, and reviewing paperwork for 'divine interventions'. #HeavenlyRedTape
5 months ago
Share →: God: “I used to work in mysterious ways but now I’m unemployed.”

Commentary:
"Looks like even God couldn't escape the downsizing trend! 👀🙏 Maybe it's time for some divine job hunting. Who knows, maybe the Creator can try their hand at a new gig under the sun? 🌞 #UnemployedDeity"
5 months ago
Share →: God: “You’re all really bad at this.”

Commentary:
Well, if even God thinks we're not getting it right, we might be in a bit of trouble! 😅🙏 Maybe it's time to up our game and show the big guy what we're made of! 💪✨ #MondayMotivation #Oops
5 months ago
Share →: God: “You’re all a bunch of bastards and I should never have created you.”

Commentary:
Oh boy, looks like even God is having second thoughts about his creation! 👀😂 Maybe he's regretting not reading the user manual before hitting the "create" button! 🤷‍♂️ Let's hope a software update can fix this glitch! 🤖 #DivineComedy
5 months ago
Share →: I received my electricity bill. I think they billed me for sunlight, divine light, and the light at the end of the tunnel.

Commentary:
Hmm, sounds like your electricity bill is trying to brighten up your day! ☀💡 Looks like they're charging you for all types of light sources, including the divine kind. Better watch out for that next bill – they might start invoicing you for moonlight and starlight too! 🌟✨ #LightingUpYourExpenses
5 months ago
Share →: God: “I don’t regret the Flood, but I do regret the Ark.”

Commentary:
"Well, looks like even God has some 'buyer's remorse' moments! 😄 Maybe next time Noah should've gone with a bigger boat, perhaps a cruise ship 🚢. Lesson learned: always read the fine print before committing to building arks! 🌊☔️ #RegretfulArkBuilder"