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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

Imagine you get to the gates of heaven and they make you download an app to go in.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

“Stand up for yourself!” Girl, I have low iron.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

Do not take me to an escape room. I was a c-section. Someone is gonna have to come get me.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

Live, laugh, lie to the doctor about how many drinks you have per week.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

If you feel fat and sad just know it’s someone out there fatter than you.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

Twitter is like a psych ward with no staff.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

Chuck Norris passed his driving test on foot.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

My career goal is to be able to just delete my LinkedIn account at some point.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

December, give me a sweet ending for this year please.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

Kind of rude you didn’t wake me up before you went went.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

840 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,002

Funny Quotes Topics

13,945

Funny Quotes Images

11,002

6 minutes ago

3,439

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Apologies for the late response, instead of spending three minutes answering your email, I ignored it and felt anxious for two weeks.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

I can’t think of a single email that has ever found me well.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

“You’re always drinking wine!” God forbid a girl enjoys the first miracle of Jesus.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Sometimes the voices in my head get bullied by the voices in my stomach.

Trending via WeChat:

I need someone to look at me the way I look at memes.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Declined stepping on the scale at the doctor’s office because no one needs that kind of negativity in her life.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Every Reddit relationship post is like “My husband dropped a big piano on my head and when I emerged from the rubble my teeth had been replaced by the keys. Am I in the wrong?”

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Thanks for leaving my door open; I was running low on houseflies.

Live now on TikTok:

Men used to smoke Marlboros. Now they cry when they lose their strawberry cheesecake vape.

Shared recently on Slack:

I don’t know which is worse, people stealing your jokes or people not stealing your jokes.

My guardian angel is taking the longest smoking break in recorded history.

4 months ago

My guardian angel is taking the longest smoking break in recorded history.

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Commentary:
Looks like your guardian angel is on an extended smoke break, probably practicing some next-level cloud-making skills ☁️🚬! Hopefully, they remember they've got a job to do and come back before you need a miracle or two! 🌟😇 #UnbreakableBondWithMyGuardianAngels

angel, break, divine, divine intervention, guardian, guardian angel, history, humor, intervention, irony, longest, procrastination, smoking, smoking break, taking

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

840 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,002

Funny Quotes Topics

13,945

Funny Quotes Images

11,002

6 minutes ago

3,442

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

You have hopes and dreams. I have nopes and screams.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

My OnlyFans is just me loading the dishwasher correctly.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

Whenever І wake up and see that someone has wrіtten a bunch of funny posts before noon, І assume they are a mornіng drіnker.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

The collective noun for a group of narcissists should be an ‘egosystem’.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

A garlic a day keeps the doctor away.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

Ain’t no way there’s billions of us and nobody got superpowers.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

In contrast to the ship, the movie Titanic was quite well received in America.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

Everything is 10 times funnier when you are supposed to be quiet.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

“No idea” doesn’t mean I don’t know the answer. I just don’t want to have a conversation.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

I didn’t really mind the voices in my head until one of them started their own podcast.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Facebook:

You don’t scare me, you’re not my kid noticing her sibling got a bigger slice of cake.

Trending via Discord:

My favorite part of football is when they feed the players water like they’re hamsters.

Making waves on Messenger:

My boyfriend talks to everyone while I stand by quietly, planning my escape.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

“Likes your story” is a declaration of love.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Now I understand why old people sit outside just to sit outside.

Spotted on Facebook:

I’m going to need to rewatch Idiocracy to see what happens next.

Shared recently on X:

It sucks when you realize it’s only Thursday, until you realize it’s Wednesday.

Breaking via Telegram:

My life changed when I learned some house spiders can’t survive outside, so now I just catch them and release them in a friend’s home.

Just shared via TikTok:

Does anyone have the number of the witch from Snow White? I need a few apples.

Broadcasted on Slack:

This can’t be the same body that used to be able to stay up all night.

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