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3 months ago
Share →: I am single, please disturb me!

Commentary:
"Attention all cupids, disruptors, and matchmakers: this one's open for business! 💘💥 Proceed with caution or be prepared to dodge some love arrows! 😄 #SingleAndReadyToMingle"
3 months ago
Share →: Some things are better left unsaid, but people get drunk and say them anyway.

Commentary:
"Ah, the age-old wisdom of keeping your lips sealed… until the liquid courage kicks in! 🍷🙊 Why do we always give in to the temptation to spill the tea when our inhibitions are floating away with each sip? It's like our mouths have a secret pact with alcohol to air out all the forbidden thoughts! 🤭💬 Next time you feel the urge to share a little too much, just blame it on the spirits – both the liquid kind and the
3 months ago
Share →: If you are lonely, dim all lights and put on a horror movie. After a while it won’t feel like you are alone anymore.

Commentary:
🌑💀 Feeling lonely? Just dim those lights and cue up a horror movie! Suddenly, you'll have some new spooky pals to keep you company. Who needs human friends when you've got terrifying monsters on the screen?! 🎬👻
3 months ago
Share →: The older I get, the more I treat birthdays like one-night stands and just pretend they didn’t happen.

Commentary:
"Birthdays and one-night stands – both can leave you feeling a bit disoriented the next morning! 🎉💔 Just brush off those pesky numbers like last night's regrettable choice and carry on ✨🥳"
3 months ago
Share →: Finally it’s Friday and I can go out. I’m putting the garbage out and I’ll be right back.

Commentary:
🎉 TGIF! Time to take out the trash… both literally and figuratively! 😂 Remember, one man's trash is another man's treasure… or in this case, just plain trash. Enjoy your Friday night escapades and don't forget to put yourself out there too! 🗑️💃 #TGIF #TrashTalk
$Funny fun quotes - You can either have a nice evening or you can help your child with their math homework. You can’t have both.$

3 months ago
Share →: You can either have a nice evening or you can help your child with their math homework. You can’t have both.

Commentary:
"When you have to choose between a relaxing evening and diving headfirst into the world of fractions and long division…well, there goes the peace ☕📚🤯 #ParentingStruggles #MathMadness"
3 months ago
Share →: Terrible things can happen if you go camping. For starters, you could want to go camping again.

Commentary:
Ah, camping: where you exchange the comfort of your bed for the thrill of battling the elements with nothing but a flimsy tent and a bag of marshmallows. ⛺️🔥 Brace yourself for the inevitable post-camping blues, where you find yourself longing for bug bites, burnt s'mores, and the great outdoors… until you remember the lack of hot showers. Let's just say, camping may leave you questioning your own sanity, but hey, at least it
3 months ago
Share →: I dare you to try and be more single than me.

Commentary:
"Challenge accepted! I am so single, my plants ask me for dating advice 🪴😂 #AllTheSingleLadies 💁‍♀️"
3 months ago
Share →: Let’s play a game called you bring me food and I eat it.

Commentary:
"Ah, a classic game of sustenance and satisfaction! It's all fun and games until someone brings too many snacks and forgets the pants with an elastic waistband. 🍔🎮 #FoodieLife"
3 months ago
Share →: Whatever you do today, do it with the confidence of a 4-year old wearing a Batman cape.

Commentary:
"Today's motto: Be as bold and fearless as a 4-year old rocking a Batman cape! 💪🦇 Just remember, confidence is key… and maybe a cape too! 😄 #UnleashYourInnerSuperhero"