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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡Ή has bookmarked:

The most valuable breed of cow are the Cash.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡Ύ has bookmarked:

Food is like sex: When you abstain, even the worst stuff begins to look good.

Someone from πŸ‡·πŸ‡Ό has copied:

I’m not starting a presentation with “ladies and gentlemen”, I’m using the gender neutral “to those who heed my warnings”.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡¨ has viewed:

Telling your parents about your problems is like trying to put out a fire with gasoline.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡¬ has downloaded:

Naps hit different when you’re using them to avoid being alive.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡Ώ has viewed:

Hear me out: agenda reveal parties for people we don’t trust.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡§ has viewed:

Some people can start a task and then just finish it instead of trying to do a hundred things at once, like a squirrel on crack.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡Ί has bookmarked:

This gratitude journal looks a lot like a grocery list.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡Ύ has viewed:

He thinks I’m so smart because I read books. Baby, they is FAWKING in these books.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡¬ has viewed:

People are too judgmental these days… I can tell just by looking at them.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,461

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Can we start the weekend again? I wasn’t ready.

Trending via Discord:

A peaceful transition of power happening between me and this red wine just now.

Making waves on TikTok:

Haunted Houses this year are just gonna have the news on.

Just shared via X:

I think that police officers on foot should wear blue flashing sneakers.

Going viral on Twitch:

Rather than work on my issues, I’m counting on my personality getting changed by a falling coconut.

Shared recently on Reddit:

A bad relationship can ruin a good song.

Spotted on Discord:

Have you ever accidentally opened your front-facing camera, and it ruined your day a little?

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Sometimes you just gotta say LOL and move on.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

People who own banana costumes will wear that shit to anything.

Going viral on Telegram:

β€œDoing the dishes” is completely pointless and only wastes water. You’re just going to put food on them again in a few hours.

Funny good news quotes

Funny good news quotes bring a burst of laughter πŸ˜‚ and sunshine β˜€οΈ to even the dullest updates. When you want to share happiness with a twist of humor πŸ˜„, these witty lines turn great news into unforgettable moments πŸŽ‰. Whether it’s a tiny win or big celebration, a sprinkle of comedy keeps the vibes high and smiles wide 😎. Ready to brighten your day with some hilarious positivity? Let’s dive in! 🎈✨

New funny good news quotes πŸ‘‡

All funny good news quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes πŸ‘Œ

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

85 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Me (seductively looking at a potato): would mash.

13 shares on Telegram this month:

ADHD is: being pretty good at basically anything you want to be, and absolutely terrible at anything you need to do to live.

41 shares on YouTube this month:

I might not be able to speak another language but I can speak English slower!

42 shares on TikTok this month:

We don’t make people walk the plank like we used to.

79 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Before you laugh at kids who believe in Santa, remember there are grown men who believe that Cristiano Ronaldo is a better footballer than Lionel Messi.

75 shares on Twitch this month:

Please solve a murder to prove you’re not a bot.

87 shares on WeChat this month:

I think Bigfoot had it right, stay in hiding from all the shitty human beings.

38 shares on X this month:

Can’t argue with a guy that has curly hair. Whatever you say, gorgeous.

73 shares on Slack this month:

Getting a lawn sign so people know what I think today.

91 shares on Telegram this month:

Hey, you should start your own business and then mind it.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

15 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

The goose: Canada’s most violent saxophone.

25 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

The neighbor sneezes loudly from the balcony. And because I’m a polite person, I shout loudly: Disgusting!

13 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

My plan is to die young as late as possible.

25 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I did not spend years turning the faucet off while I brushed my teeth, so corporations could ruin the environment with festering AI slop.

25 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

12 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Quitting my job to focus more on my desire not to work anymore.

9 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

My wife almost fell down the stairs today and that got us into a heated argument whether my gasp was out of concern or excitement.

19 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Some stupid little amoeba decided to leave the ocean a billion years ago and now I have to worry about Monday.

5 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Imagine Pinocchio roasting you for 5 mins straight and his nose didn’t move an inch.

6 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

β€œThis too shall pass!” Okay, but like, when exactly?

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,581

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡Ώ has bookmarked:

Always stay crazy. Otherwise you’ll go crazy.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡Ύ has bookmarked:

Adulting in 3 words: it’s always something.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡§ has bookmarked:

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep, not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡² has copied:

Let’s call it a year. I’ve had enough. Merry Christmas, y’all.

Someone from πŸ‡ΏπŸ‡¦ has downloaded:

Soon as vampires become real, I’m first in line for my bite.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡¦ has downloaded:

Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡² has viewed:

β€œYou shouldn’t let your cat jump on the counter”, my cat could take out a loan in my name if he wanted to.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡ͺ has viewed:

People think I’m a minimalist, but I’m just broke.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡Ή has copied:

Hey man, just wanted to reach out and say I loved how much you drank at my wedding last night.

Someone from πŸ‡­πŸ‡· has viewed:

Yeah, no worries, man. You just showed everyone that you have a lot of resentments bubbling underneath, but otherwise, it was a cool evening.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Going viral on TikTok:

I tried selling my soul to the devil, and he said no.

Just landed via Messenger:

The females who don’t go through phones will definitely find out through dreams.

Broadcasted on X:

Everyone’s an expert after the fact.

Trending via Reddit:

Seems like the mosquitoes swiped right on me.

Trending via Reddit:

Does anyone want to fall in love and split rent with me?

Making waves on Messenger:

Not to brag, but I can shake your hand and forget your name simultaneously.

Broadcasted on Slack:

My so-called β€œfriends” have asked that I stop referring to them that way.

Just shared via Twitch:

Old age is always 15 years older than I am.

Shared recently on Twitch:

β€œHey you!” is short for β€œI have no idea what your name is.”

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

At what point in not being able to sleep do I throw the towel in and have a beer, since maybe that will help?

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