Funny good news quotes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: The good news is cannon deaths have gone down dramatically in the last hundred years.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like cannons finally got the memo about 'peace and love' 🕊️💥. Who knew they could have a change of heart? Or maybe they just aim for targets that aren't moving 🤷‍♂️🎯. Either way, RIP to the good ol' days of being a cannon operator. Your job prospects have truly 'shot' down 🤣🔫."

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Good news: I set an all time high today! Bad news: It’s my cholesterol.

  Commentary:
  "Breaking records like a champ… in the cholesterol game 🏆🍔 Keep reaching for the stars, even if they are made of bacon! 🌟🥓"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: The good news: once you get a PhD, friends and family will refer to you as doctor. The bad news: They will only do it when you’re wrong.

  Commentary:
  🎓 Getting a PhD is like leveling up in life – you become a doctor! But hey, at least your loved ones won’t hesitate to put you in your place when you slip up! It’s all in good fun, right? 😂 #PhDProblems #DoctorDrama

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Good news: I only ate one slice of pizza. Bad news: I did that four times in a row.

  Commentary:
  "Breaking news: Pizza slices mysteriously disappear one by one! 🍕😂 Looks like an intense pizza consumption challenge is in progress! Will they reach Slice Number 5 and rewrite the record books? Stay tuned for more cheesy updates! 🧀📺"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: The bad news is there was a lot of turbulence on my flight this morning. The good news is my phone counted it as steps.

  Commentary:
  Looks like your phone is determined to make those 🛫 turbulent moments work FOR you! Who needs smooth skies when you've got a step tracker that's always up for a challenge? 😂✈️ #TurningTurbulenceIntoSteps

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