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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

All this suffering on earth because someone ate an apple once.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

“I’ve never done parkour, but I have chased a toddler with an open Sharpie through the house.”

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

Anything is an appetizer if you eat more food after.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

My AI-generated girlfriend is hotter than your real girlfriend.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

Ever woken up, kissed the person sleeping next to you and felt glad to be alive? I just did, so I won’t be catching this train again.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

I love saying “sounds good” at work, and no shit be sounding good.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

I’m never early… unless we’re talking about the airport.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

Don’t blame the alcohol. You were an idiot before you started drinking.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

11:00 am – Anything is possible. 3:00 pm – But not today.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

Do clouds ever look down on us and say, “This one is shaped like an idiot”?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,724

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I’m as single as a one Dollar bill, and I don’t need any change.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

It’s important to listen to both sides of the debate because you need to hear both the reality of the situation and also the dumbest thing anyone’s ever said.

Trending via Discord:

Nobody plays better together than siblings being told it’s bedtime.

Seen just now on Slack:

My neighbor is having some kind of party and didn’t invite me. I guess I have to call the cops again.

Trending via Messenger:

Dear deodorant manufacturers, please stop writing “72h” on your products. There are people who believe that. And they sit next to me on the bus. Always. All of them!

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Went for a walk. Very pleasant evening. The squirrels and rabbits kept running away from me. That stung a little. I will remember their faces.

Live now on Messenger:

If we were subway rats, I’d share my pizza crust with you.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Don’t give up, keep going. There are still so many disappointments waiting for you.

Spotted on YouTube:

Had the bed all to myself last night, so you know what that means… I slept in a slightly different spot, and now my neck feels weird.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Dentists get rich by staring into your mouth for 30 seconds, playing sinking ships with their assistant, and then telling you to brush better.

12 Funny mall quotes

Funny mall quotes bring the hustle, bustle, and quirky moments of shopping to life 🛍️😄 From crowded food courts to endless sales, these witty lines capture every shopper’s adventure with a smile 😜✨ Whether you’re a bargain hunter or just here for the people-watching, get ready to laugh and relate to the mall madness like never before! 🎉👟🛒

New funny mall quotes 👇

For even more funny mall quotes, hit next 👇

All funny mall quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

47 shares on X this month:

Marriage is just asking each other, “What do you want to do for dinner?” and then replying, “No, not that,” until death do us part.

32 shares on Threads this month:

I love when dudes are named Guy. Like, yeah. Exactly.

31 shares on Telegram this month:

There is nothing worse in life than calling customer service and hearing an Indian accent.

99 shares on Slack this month:

If you keep your AC any higher than 75, please don’t invite me to your terrarium, you lizard.

36 shares on WeChat this month:

The word synergy sounds like a mix of the words sin and energy. Like, to be debauched but to do it with flair and zest.

51 shares on Twitch this month:

What was the name of the boat in Titanic?

20 shares on Reddit this month:

Remember when a series of unfortunate events was a book and not your life?

69 shares on Pinterest this month:

I need to be more disciplined and stop procrastinating, starting tomorrow.

99 shares on Reddit this month:

Rabbits jump and they live for 8 years. Dogs run and they live for 15 years. Turtles do nothing and live for 150 years. Lesson learned.

75 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Me at a nightclub: Where are the chairs?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Mercury retrograde: because adulting is hard, and sometimes you just need a celestial excuse.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I will charge a 25% tariff on my steely gaze.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

You should always wash your sheets once a week in case they are really ghosts and need a shower.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s really sad that April Fools is the only day people are appropriately skeptical of stuff they read on the internet.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Every time we try to eat healthy, along comes Christmas, Easter, summer, Friday, or Tuesday, and ruins it for us.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Sex is cool, but have you ever found an academic article that fits your research topic perfectly and supports all of your claims?

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Everything is 10 times funnier when you are supposed to be quiet.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

The Netflix “Recommended For You” list is why I have trust issues.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Whenever І wake up and see that someone has wrіtten a bunch of funny posts before noon, І assume they are a mornіng drіnker.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Let’s call it a year. I’ve had enough. Merry Christmas, y’all.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,281

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

“No idea” doesn’t mean I don’t know the answer. I just don’t want to have a conversation.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

Just once I’d like to read a medication label that says: Warning, may cause permanent weight loss, increased energy and wrinkle removal.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

Salt and pepper shakers add an air of mystique to any bathroom.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

I used to mix Mountain Dew with the cheapest vodka I could find, and I called it the Blood of Mannaroth because it’s green and turns you into an orc.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

Don’t blame a clown for acting like a clown. Ask yourself why you keep going to the circus.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

I don’t understand why it isn’t socially acceptable to choose to be nocturnal. The angry hot sky ball is gone, my internet is fast, everyone finally shut up, what’s not to like.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

I’d like to place an order for a large kiss and an extra-long hug.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

Women will brag about their intuition, and then date a DJ.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

Mud season creeps up on us every year, destroying hearts and minds as well as light grey carpeting.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

Our neighbor complained that our cat is always running through his garden. My father said: “Okay, I’ll tell her.”

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Pinterest:

I always take two stairs at a time, that way if I fall, it’s only half the distance.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I accidentally clicked on an ad, so I guess I will see that product all over my phone until I’m dead.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Just realized when I get a partner, that means my family is gonna know that I have feelings.

Just shared via Threads:

If you don’t have at least one white friend named “Matt”, then you are Matt.

Just landed via YouTube:

New term for people with jobs: emploids.

Just landed via Reddit:

Clubbing is a phase that you must go through and get over.

Trending via Snapchat:

Imagine hating me, and I’m over here with one hand in my pocket, and the other one giving a high five.

Seen just now on Threads:

Your honor, if it pleases the court, I brought homemade brownies for everyone.

Just shared via Messenger:

They should invent a self-checkout where someone else scans the items and puts them in a bag.

Just landed via YouTube:

Lowkey terrifying when someone attractive is actually into you, omg.

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