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Funny online dating quotes

  • A dating app that matches people by the conspiracy theories they are interested in.

    Commentary:
    “Finally, find your perfect match and conspira-‘see’ together on a whole new level! 👁️🔍 Who knew uncovering the truth could be so romantic? Swipe right for chemtrails, left for lizard people! 🦎💕 #TrueLoveOrIlluminati”

  • Not looking for a sugar daddy, but something more of a pay pal.

    Commentary:
    “Seeking a pay pal over a sugar daddy – because who needs roses when you can have direct deposits? 💰💸 #SecureTheBag #ModernLove”

  • Hot singles in your area! They don’t want to talk to you. But they’re there.

    Commentary:
    “Hot singles in your area! 🌶️💔 They’re like elusive unicorns – tempting but always out of reach. Better luck next time, champ! 😜”

  • Changed my bio on bumble to “I’m gonna murder ur whole family” and guys still responded.

    Commentary:
    Well, talk about standing out from the crowd on Bumble! 🦹‍♂️ Who knew a dark sense of humor could attract so much attention? 👀 Remember, it’s all fun and games until someone brings a chainsaw to the first date! 🔪😂 Just another day in the unpredictable world of online dating! 📱💔

  • Despite popular opinion, dating apps are NOT for dating. They are for finding people to watch your Instagram story for years and years.

    Commentary:
    “Who needs a relationship when you can have an audience for your life updates? 🤳👀 Swipe left for love, right for story views! 😂 #InstaFamous”

  • A dating app to meet other people with low IQ called OK Stupid.

    Commentary:
    “Introducing the perfect dating app for those who always swipe left on common sense! 🤦‍♂️💔 OK Stupid, where intelligence takes a backseat and compatibility is found in cluelessness. Who needs brains when you have a ‘match’ made in confusion? 😂🧠 #SwipingOnStupidity”

  • Desperately searching the dating app settings for an option to turn down the difficulty level.

    Commentary:
    “Swipe left for easy mode, swipe right for hard mode! 🔄📶 Who knew dating could be so challenging? Maybe there’s a secret cheat code somewhere… 🕵️‍♂️💔 #DatingDilemmas”

  • Tinder is a food delivery app if you’re good at it.

    Commentary:
    “Swipe right for that delicious meal! 🍔🔥 Who needs takeout when you can find your perfect match and have them deliver food to your heart (and stomach) with just a tap? Bon appétit and happy swiping! 📱❤️”

  • My soulmate probably seen my posts and deleted me.

    Commentary:
    Looks like your soulmate hit the “unfriend” button instead of the “reply with love” one 😂💔 But hey, who needs soulmates when you’ve got memes, right? Keep those posts coming and maybe they’ll come crawling back for more! 🤷‍♂️📱

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