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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

No one my age is single because they’re all unhappily married.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

I’m equally comfortable holding a guitar as I am holding a baby, I just hold them both by the neck.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

Whatever doesn’t kill you is probably still trying.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

Having to write cover letters is so dumb. Do you really believe my dream ever since I was a little girl was to work for you? No. It was to ride a pony on a funky space rainbow. Grow up.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

It’s crazy that we’re closer to the year 3000 then I am to finding love.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

They should list at least one alien “as himself” in the Star Wars credits.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

One year older today, and still no closer to growing up.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

Someone was saying that social media makes you miss out on your real life, but have you seen real life?

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

The grass isn’t really greener over there; that’s just a filter.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

January 1st: anything is possible. January 2nd: but not today.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

790 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,952

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,952

25 minutes ago

3,439

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on TikTok:

Who can better express pain and grief and misery than a man with a harmonica?

Breaking via Telegram:

This meeting could have been an unread email.

Spotted on Twitch:

I don’t care if my parents are disappointed in me, I’m not impressed by them either.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I showered with my boyfriend. My breasts have never been so clean! Wow!

Just landed via WeChat:

I’m 6 donuts away from being the elephant in the room.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Police officer: please step out of your vehicle. Me: after this song, hold on.

Seen just now on YouTube:

English is so fake. How can you drink a drink, but you can’t food a food?

Going viral on Twitch:

The Playstation is broken and the child has noticed that I live here too.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Dinosaurs are always described as “roaming” the earth, which is patronizing as hell, I bet they had places to go and important shit to do.

Just landed via Twitch:

I have so many mood swings, I’m basically a swing now.

Changed my bio on bumble to “I’m gonna murder ur whole family” and guys still responded.

6 months ago

Changed my bio on bumble to “I’m gonna murder ur whole family” and guys still responded.

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Commentary:
Well, talk about standing out from the crowd on Bumble! 🦹‍♂️ Who knew a dark sense of humor could attract so much attention? 👀 Remember, it's all fun and games until someone brings a chainsaw to the first date! 🔪😂 Just another day in the unpredictable world of online dating! 📱💔

bio, bumble, dating, family, guys, humor, murder, online, online dating, response, sarcasm, still, whole

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

790 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,952

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,952

25 minutes ago

3,430

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

“Those tattoos will make it harder to get a job!” Okay, well so will my personality.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

Stranger: Your children are angels. Me: So was the devil.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

Establish dominance at work by drinking iced tea in a wine glass.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

How are there low birth rates when everyone here is a big baby?

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

The closest I have ever come to bungee jumping was when I was born.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

If you think swimming with dolphins is expensive, you should try swimming with sharks. It cost me an arm and a leg!

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

You can’t change your past but you can change your pasta.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

If your god commands you to kill others, find another god.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

In case anyone hasn’t told you today, I’m beautiful.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

If the first thing you do in the morning is checking your emails, you’re starting your day with other people’s problems.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Telegram:

Me as the therapist: “Listen, just take a nap!”

Reported on Threads:

Just said “shitted feet” instead of “fitted sheet” in front of my my son and his friends. If you need me, I’ll be in the closet.

Trending via Slack:

Public transportation is great, but they should invent a type where it’s only me in the vehicle.

Trending via TikTok:

Coffee ain’t gonna cut it today, I need to be chased through the woods by a machete-wielding maniac.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

The most valuable breed of cow are the Cash.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Well, maybe grass should touch me for once. How about that?

Spotted on X:

Hopefully it won’t be as bad as it already is.

Trending via TikTok:

Dear Math, I don’t want to solve your problem, I have my own problems to solve.

Freshly posted on Slack:

If I ever find out who stole my identity, I’ll pay all their debts and ruin their credit score just for fun.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Does anyone know the password to my work computer? Or how to do my job?

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