Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

I once made the irresponsible decision to drink and drive and now I have to live the rest of my days with a coffee stain on my favorite sweater.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

There should be a Mad Max movie that reveals the world outside Australia has actually remained pretty normal.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

The older I get, the more I treat birthdays like one-night stands and just pretend they didn’t happen.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

Missionary, so we can discuss how 15 min can save us 15% or more on car insurance.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

Asian parents give you unmoanable names so you can focus on your studies.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

My morning routine is basically just me convincing myself not to go back to bed.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

What do people do with all the extra time they save by writing ‘k’ instead of ‘ok’?

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

Sometimes the universe puts you in the same situations again to see if you’re still an idiot.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

The 70s, 80s, and 90s were the best decades – so many memories, no evidence.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

An email so annoying, you wanna return the computer to the store.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,676

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on TikTok:

Reading fanfics is so fun, I wish romantic attraction was real.

Spotted on Instagram:

My greatest aspiration is to one day solve a murder on a train.

Just landed via Reddit:

By accepting their pardons, the turkeys are admitting guilt.

Just landed via Twitch:

Be the one that gets asked to remove the hockey mask, during a conference call, on Friday the 13th.

Spotted on Facebook:

The worst part about working from home is that your real husband is also your work husband.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I could own a thousand summer dresses, and it still wouldn’t be enough.

Just shared via Telegram:

Your 20s are for developing attachments to people who will haunt you for the rest of your life.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

I wish I was as tired at bedtime as I am at 2 p.m. on any given day.

Just landed via Messenger:

Getting a second opinion about my Tamagotchi’s health.

Trending via X:

It was a complicated 17-hour surgery, but they finally managed to separate the art from the artist.

Funny road safety quotes

Funny road safety quotes 🚗😂 add a splash of humor to staying safe on the road! They turn serious reminders into smiles 😄, making you think twice while keeping the vibe light and playful. Ready to laugh your way to safer driving? Buckle up and enjoy these clever, witty gems that prove safety doesn’t have to be boring! 🚦🛑✨

New funny road safety quotes 👇

All funny road safety quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

60 shares on Slack this month:

“AI is coming for your job.” Yeah, I’d like to see AI drink 11 coffees, then have a panic attack.

47 shares on TikTok this month:

I want the job where I push scared skydivers out of planes.

68 shares on Facebook this month:

Yes, I do talk to myself, everyone else just wants to argue with me.

17 shares on Slack this month:

Wearing white pants today, so it’s really just a matter of time before I spill something on myself.

28 shares on TikTok this month:

Cute how I complain that my kids are spoiled when I’m the one who spoils them.

99 shares on YouTube this month:

I want time to watch more films, but I also want time to read more books, but I also want time to look at more nothing.

32 shares on X this month:

I’m surprised some of you are allowed out of your house on your own.

63 shares on YouTube this month:

Not to brag but I don’t even need meditation, my mind goes blank the second someone asks me for directions.

57 shares on LinkedIn this month:

People in their late 20s and early 30s are like “this is my emotional support trip to Japan.”

53 shares on Reddit this month:

Dear resealable chocolate bag, your confidence in my self-control was truly inspiring. And you were delicious.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

You ask a girl if she ate, and she gon say, “Yeah, I had my coffee.”

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve reached the age where my train of thought often leaves the station without me.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m getting targeted ads about chin fat and I’m offended by the relevance.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m tired of things costing money.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Is it possible to die of horniness? Asking for a friend.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

If reports from this daisy are accurate, she loves me not.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Shoutout to all ladies dating silently without making noise on social media. May God give you another man as a bonus.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

In hell, you wait for a ‘verify your email address’ email that never arrives.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Starting your day with an early morning run is a great way to make sure your day can’t get any worse than it started.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I started at the bottom, and it’s been downhill ever since.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,721

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

My hair would never allow me to commit a crime. I really do leave my DNA everywhere.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

I think it’s time we acknowledged how incredibly stupid most super wealthy people are.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

According to my skin, hair, lips, and hands, I am doing Dry January.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

Paid my mortgage so don’t ask me to come out. I’m getting my money’s worth.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

I can’t stop thinking about how a tanning bed really turns you into the human version of a gas station hot dog.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

We are all just prisoners here of our phone device.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

I love airports because the rules of society don’t apply. Eat a pizza and have a glass of wine at 7 am while in track pants. Nobody cares.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

I’m really into writing short fiction, mainly to-do lists.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

When you first meet a man, that fake version of him be so fire.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

Drinking coffee because throwing chairs at people is frowned upon.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on X:

I have decided to purchase the grocery store because it is now cheaper than the groceries inside it.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Sometimes I think about starting a podcast and then I remember all I do during conversations is nod.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Haggis – the meal you have to stomach twice.

Going viral on WeChat:

Not now, honey. I’m talking to strangers on the internet.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Made the mistake of believing what I was told again.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but you don’t need a special occasion to buy a cake.

Just landed via Messenger:

Sometimes life is “Eat, pray, love,” and sometimes it’s “Scroll, snack, overthink.”

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Urgh. Trying to buy a copy of Catch-22 online but the seller won’t post it until I’ve paid and I won’t pay until I’ve received it.

Spotted on Slack:

When did making sense stop making sense?

Just shared via Slack:

Maybe the four horsemen of the apocalypse are Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok.

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