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283 Funny social media quotes

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3 months ago
Share →: Parents be like “don’t believe everything you see on the internet” then believe everything they see on Facebook.

Commentary:
"Parents: the only people who simultaneously teach you skepticism and fall for a 'Free Cruise to the Bahamas' ad on Facebook. The irony is strong with this one!"
3 months ago
Share →: Facebook: because time isn’t going to pass on it’s own.

Commentary:
"Ah, Facebook – where time flies faster than your friend request gets accepted. Remember, time waits for no one, but it can sure get lost in your newsfeed if you're not careful!"
3 months ago
Share →: It’s almost bed time, so I’ll just check my e-mail, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and watch a season of my favorite show on Netflix real quick.

Commentary:
Ah, the classic bedtime routine of the modern multitasker – a quick check of all social media platforms, with just a dash of binge-watching thrown in for good measure. Who needs sleep when you can catch up on the latest posts and episodes, right? Just remember, Netflix has a way of turning "one more episode" into a full-on nocturnal adventure! Sweet dreams and happy scrolling!
3 months ago
Share →: When my nudes go to the cloud, I always hope God is impressed.

Commentary:
"Sending nudes to the cloud – aiming for heavenly approval! 🌥️😇 #GodsReview"
3 months ago
Share →: Everyone who dramatically ‘quits’ social media is back in 48 hours like it was just a trial separation.

Commentary:
"Quitting social media is the modern-day equivalent of a 'breakup' – they always come crawling back like a regretful ex 🤷‍♂️📱 #TrialSeparationFail"
3 months ago
Share →: For the first time in history, you can simply post “He’s an idiot” and 90% of the world will know whom you’re talking about.

Commentary:
Isn't it amazing how a simple post can speak volumes these days? 🤣 It's like a global game of "Guess Who?" where the answer is usually pretty obvious! 🌏💭 #ModernClues #InstantIdentification
3 months ago
Share →: If you scroll Twitter long enough, you too can burn calories by shaking your head.

Commentary:
Wow, Twitter should come with a warning label: "Caution! May result in unintentional exercise from vigorous head shaking 🤯💪😂 #TwitterWorkout"
3 months ago
Share →: I like to put “No DMs” in my bio to pretend that I’m attractive.

Commentary:
"Putting 'No DMs' in your bio is the ultimate power move 💁‍♂️ Who needs validation when you've got boundaries and a sense of humor? 😂 It's like saying 'I'm too busy being fabulous to deal with all this attention 💅' #ConfidenceGoals"
4 months ago
Share →: Boyfriend hasn’t accepted my LinkedIn request yet. He doesn’t want to connect. He doesn’t want to build.

Commentary:
Looks like this boyfriend doesn't just avoid networking events, but even digital connections! 🙅‍♂️ If he can't commit to accepting a LinkedIn request, will he ever commit to relationship goals? 🤔 Perhaps he's still figuring out if he wants to 'network' exclusively with you! 😆 #NetworkingRelationships
4 months ago
Share →: Studies show people who like my posts are happier, smarter, and better looking than those who don’t.

Commentary:
"According to scientific data, giving liking my posts results in instant happiness, profound intelligence, and a stunning glow-up 🌟💡💁‍♂️ Meanwhile, those who resist the urge may suffer from FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out) and a severe case of 'unlikeability' syndrome 🤷‍♀️🚫 Remember, a 'like' a day keeps the gloom away! 😄👍 #ScienceIsAlwaysRight"