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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

I can’t believe I slept good all night. What a rush.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

Gonna go walk the beach and stare annoyingly at couples. May even growl as I pass by.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

I thought you are the sunshine of my life, but you are just a meteor trying to destroy my world.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

I hope the ghost of Michael Jackson Hee-Hee’s in your ear while you tryna sleep.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

My bed has a stronger influence on me than my ambitions.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

If I could do it all over again, I would ruin my life differently. I have new ideas.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

I don’t need all of these heat advisory warnings on my phone. I’ve been outside. I have skin. I know.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

Seeing yourself on a FaceTime screenshot really humbles you.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

At the beginning of a relationship, people call their partner’s odd behavior “cute little quirks”. Some years later, the police call it “motive”.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

People be like, “I’m a work in progress” and never make any progress.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,254

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via WeChat:

I’m sorry I said “I look forward to working with you” during our wedding vows.

Spotted on Messenger:

My Wi-Fi is stronger than my will to socialize.

Making waves on Twitch:

I usually start exploring the abyss around 7 p.m.

Just landed via Slack:

People in my real life annoy me, so I come online to annoy you.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Nature is fascinating. A dandelion makes it through concrete, while I get my head stuck in my sweater in the morning.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I am “any text received after 9pm will be answered at 6am” years old.

Freshly posted on X:

I think there’s a size limit on engagement rings before they look tacky, to me.

Trending via Messenger:

No, I’m not depressed. I’m sure there’s just something wrong with the planets or stars or something.

Going viral on Discord:

You live in a great city when you get pooped on by a seagull instead of a pigeon.

Live now on WeChat:

I wonder if this is all happening because I opened that umbrella inside.

11 Funny surgery quotes

Funny surgery quotes bring a dose of laughter to the operating room and beyond 🏥😂 Whether you’re prepping for a procedure or just love a good medical chuckle, these witty sayings lighten the mood and remind us that humor is the best medicine 💉😄 Get ready to smile, giggle, and maybe even snort as we dive into some hilarious surgical wisdom! 🎭🩺

New funny surgery quotes 👇

For even more funny surgery quotes, hit next 👇

All funny surgery quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

83 shares on Slack this month:

Studies show that 100% of all parents think alcohol tastes much better after spending the day with children.

76 shares on Snapchat this month:

Yes, my date did get up and leave during dinner, but luckily she hadn’t finished her food.

63 shares on Discord this month:

Sometimes you show up to work, and they just torture you for hours.

67 shares on Slack this month:

Apparently, the job interviewer doesn’t like it when your biggest weakness is beautiful Latinas.

61 shares on Discord this month:

Moms be like, “Your cousin’s neighbor’s husband’s aunt died. Just thought you should know.”

99 shares on Slack this month:

Be useless, so nobody can use you.

10 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m going to become more attractive or more delusional; I haven’t decided yet.

15 shares on Threads this month:

Lawyers should get walk-up songs in court like how wrestlers do.

80 shares on Messenger this month:

I love when someone texts “hey,” like I’m supposed to solve the rest.

40 shares on Instagram this month:

A good rule to remember for life is that when it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never be attracted by a bargain.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Not sure how to flirt, but I can make things awkward if you’re into that.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Being a parent means hearing a noise at 3 a.m. and hoping it’s just a ghost and not your toddler getting up again.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

If you can reach enlightenment, can you also reach endarkenment?

9 folks are currently checking 👀

“You changed!” Yeah, I thought three days in the same outfit was kinda pushing it.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

When you say “You’re going to hate me for this,” you’re making a very large assumption that I don’t hate you already.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so hungry, I could eat a full-time job with health insurance.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

All income is disposable if you’re brave enough.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Getting a random boner is a bit funny. Like, what is it, boy? What do you see?

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Women only want one thing and it is to walk down a dimly-lit cobblestone street with the devil.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes people just need you to be genuine with them, and I personally have no problem pretending to do that.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,666

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

Did you know there are people who go away for 3 days and only pack 3 days’ worth of clothing?

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

The worst part about borrowing money is having to pay it back or move to a new city.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

Roses are pink. I need a drink.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

Everybody loves that comfort food until you end up with that comfort body.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

Imagine how bored the person who invented mayonnaise must have been.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

I don’t drink alcohol. I like suffering raw.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

Remember the good old days when you didn’t have to wonder if the person messaging you was a bot or not?

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

Jokes on you, unknown number. I barely answer my phone for people I know.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

First date idea: I lean in close and surprise you with a wet willy.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

How did we decide to go with cockpit?

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on TikTok:

If I was the inventor of healing, I would have made it linear, I can tell you that much.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Friday the 13th used to mean something. Now every day is awful.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Sledding is the best! (until you have to walk back up the hill)

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I have to work because the baby is expensive. (I’m the baby.)

Just landed via X:

I’m a Leo so I just eat the other astrological signs.

Spotted on Instagram:

I don’t want to end this year on bad terms with anybody. Could you please apologize to me?

Going viral on Reddit:

My favorite pirate song is “Aye of the Tiger”

Shared recently on Messenger:

My favorite part of my workday is when I grab my shit and leave.

Just shared via Twitch:

We were never supposed to have this much access to stupid people’s thoughts, beliefs, and opinions.

Trending via TikTok:

She said she liked animals but apparently all the fruit flies around my apartment was a “turn off”

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