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30 Funny thank quotes

More funny thank quotes 👇

  • Aliens: We are here to take over. Me: Thank God.

    Commentary:
    Aliens: We are here to take over. Me: Thank God 🙏! I’ve been looking for an excuse to finally use my “alien invasion survival kit” 👽. Time to put those binge-watched sci-fi skills to good use! ✨🚀👾 #ReadyForTheExtraterrestrialLife.

  • Thank you for being friends with me. Baffling decision, but thank you.

    Commentary:
    “Thanks for being friends with me. Must’ve been a moment of temporary insanity on your part, but hey, I’ll take it! 🤪🤷‍♂️ #BlessedWithConfusingFriendships”

  • Thank God I have a cat. Who else is gonna shit in this box I have?

    Commentary:
    “Life’s little reminder from your feline friend: ‘Hey, at least you don’t have to do THIS yourself!’ 😹💩 #CatOwnerProblems #CatLitterDuty”

  • Thank God my pets can’t talk. They simply know too much.

    Commentary:
    “Imagine the secrets our furry friends would spill if they could speak! 🐱🐶 Maybe it’s best to keep their world domination plans under wraps. Thank goodness for their loyalty and silence… for now. 🔐😂”

  • Dear God, thank you for the job I have. But if you have a lottery win planned for me, I’m ready! Thank you.

    Commentary:
    “Dear God, thank you for the job, but just in case you’re feeling extra generous… I’m here, waiting with open arms and a winning ticket 🙏🎉💸 #InGodWeTrustAndWin”

  • “Seize the day!” No thank you. I will leave the day alone and hope it extends me the same courtesy.

    Commentary:
    “Carpe diem? More like carpen’t diem! 🙅‍♂️ Let the day be on its way, I’m good over here waiting for the weekend like… 🤷‍♀️⏳”

  • A large group of people is called an “eww, no thank you”

    Commentary:
    “A large group of people is called an ‘eww, no thank you’ – or as introverts like to call it, a nightmare come true! 😅🙈 #TeamSolo”

  • The difference between a hippo and a zippo is that one is really heavy and the other is a little lighter. Thank you and good night.

    Commentary:
    🤣😆 What a fantastic observation! Who knew the difference between a hippo and a zippo could be summed up with a weight joke! That’s a pun-tastic way to end the evening. Thank you and good night! 🦛🔥 #PunnyHumor

  • I’d like to thank the municipal snow plow for recreating the wall from Game of Thrones at the end of my driveway.

    Commentary:
    Looks like winter is coming in full force! 🌨️❄️ Who needs the Night’s Watch when you have the municipal snow plow guarding your driveway like the Wall from Game of Thrones? Just make sure you don’t encounter any White Walkers on your way to work! ⚔️ #WinterIsHere

  • Not many quicksand-related deaths since the 1970s. Thank God the authorities got that nightmare under control.

    Commentary:
    Looks like quicksand finally got a grip on itself and thought, “Maybe drowning people isn’t the way to go.” 😅🌪️ Thank goodness for those authorities – saving lives and boots one step at a time! 🙌🏻👢 #RIPQuicksandVictims

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