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5 months ago
Share →: The toddler refers to every baby as Baby [Name], like Baby is their formal title.

Commentary:
When you're a toddler, every baby is a potential VIP! 👶👑 "Ah, Baby John, pleased to make your acquaintance!" Formalities must be observed in the baby kingdom! #ToddlerEtiquette 😄
5 months ago
Share →: Obituaries should have clickbait titles.

Commentary:
"Say goodbye to boring obituaries! Introducing the latest trend: Clickbait titles for the afterlife. 'You won't believe what this person did in their final moments!' 🤣💀 #RestInClickbait #GoneViral"
5 months ago
Share →: The first Saw movie should have been called Footloose.

Commentary:
Why dread when you can dance? Saw stepping on toes with those deadly traps! 🕺🔪💃 #FootlooseAndFearful
5 months ago
Share →: I’m gonna put “CEO of Blockbuster Video” on my resume because who are they gonna call to confirm?

Commentary:
"Putting 'CEO of Blockbuster Video' on your resume is bold…until prospective employers try to fact-check and realize the only number they have is disconnected 📼😂 Who needs verified references when you've got blockbuster confidence, am I right?"
5 months ago
Share →: The good news: once you get a PhD, friends and family will refer to you as doctor. The bad news: They will only do it when you’re wrong.

Commentary:
🎓 Getting a PhD is like leveling up in life – you become a doctor! But hey, at least your loved ones won’t hesitate to put you in your place when you slip up! It’s all in good fun, right? 😂 #PhDProblems #DoctorDrama
5 months ago
Share →: I only use ‘sir’ disrespectfully.

Commentary:
Ah, a rebel in polite society, I see! 🎩😏 "I only use ‘sir’ disrespectfully" – well, isn't that quite the gentlemanly insult! Clearly, good manners don't stand a chance around you! 🤣🎩🤝 #SassySir
5 months ago
Share →: The title of my autobiography is going to be ‘You’d Think I’d Learn By Now, But Nope.’

Commentary:
"If life were a game, the author of this autobiography would clearly be the master of plot twists and unexpected turns! 📖🤷‍♂️ Never a dull moment in the memoirs of the perpetually surprised protagonist! 😅"
5 months ago
Share →: Totally unrealistic movie title: “The Postman Always Rings Twice”. We all know that these guys only ring once and then leave.

Commentary:
"Who has time for double ringing in this day and age? 📫💨 One ring and they're outta there! Maybe the postman should try speed dial next time. 📞😆 #RingOnceAndRun #PostOfficePranks"