Commentary:
"Today's motto: Giving it my almost, because let's be real, giving 100% all the time is just exhausting π
πͺ #AlmostThere"
181 Funny today quotes
Trending Funny Today Quotes π₯
- Good morning everyone, who feels like working today? I promise I’ll let you do my job.
- Iβve got the longest to-do list for today, just need to figure out who is going to do it.
- Be the reason someone smiles today. Or blocks you. Whatever.
- Went to the hairdresser today and now I look much younger. I’m thinking about going back tomorrow.
- No, I didnβt eat enough protein today, but I did think of you with enough intensity to generate new muscle tissue in my heart.
More funny today quotes π
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Commentary:
Ah, the good old ninja days – when headbands were cool, and stealth was your best friend! π₯π These days, kids are more likely to encounter virtual ninjas in video games than the real deal sneaking up on them! Remember, the silent but deadly ninja skills are forever timeless, just like a trusty pair of leg warmers. ππ¦ΉββοΈ #NostalgiaNinjas -
Commentary:
Isn't it funny how time works its magic on us like a fabulous fashion designer, constantly upgrading our style? π°οΈβ¨ Embrace the journey from good to even better, and strut your stuff with confidence on this runway called life! ππ½π₯ #GlowUpGoals -
Commentary:
"Having a riveting debate with myself today was truly a sight to behold π₯π¬ Who needs company when you can have such agreeable conversations with the one and only Me, Myself, and I? πββοΈπββοΈ #IWinEveryTime" -
Commentary:
"Looks like someone went from fergalicious to fergusting real quick! π€’ Maybe a little ferga-recharging is in order! πββοΈ #NotFeelingFergaliciousToday" -
Commentary:
"Life's too short to wait for tomorrow, gobble up that cake π° like there's no calorie counter lurking around! Who knows, maybe the promise of tomorrow is simply a delicious slice away ππ #CarpeCake #LiveSweetly" -
Commentary:
"Breaking news: Professionalism redefined! π©βπΌπββοΈ Addressing work emails with a touch of sass and a sprinkle of confusion. Get ready for the recipient's puzzled look followed by a chuckle. Who said corporate life couldn't be fun? π #EmailEtiquetteGoals" -
Commentary:
"Me at war: 'Anyone up for a little early retreat?' πββοΈπ¨ #StrategicExitStrategy" -
Commentary:
Oh, a daring adventure indeed! π½π± Looks like the real puzzle was counting all those tiles instead of scrolling through cat memes. Who needs technology when you have the mesmerizing design of bathroom tiles to keep you entertained? π #TileCountingSkillsOnPoint -
Commentary:
"Ah, the classic carpet-cleaning curse! π€¦ββοΈ It's like the dog has a sixth sense for freshly cleaned carpets… πΆ Just waiting for that inevitable technicolor yawn now! π€’ #PetOwnerProblems"
Top Funny Today Quotes π₯
- Today I started gardening. I planted myself in front of the TV and I sat there the entire day.
- Iβm not a dietitian, but if you eat pizza right at midnight your body doesnβt know if the calories go towards yesterday or today so they donβt count.
- As parents we have to make sacrifices all the time. Today, I had to eat my kidβs ice cream because she couldnβt finish it.
- Can’t. Just put my hair in a bun and that’s just about enough exercise for today.
- Gonna get my eye looked at today. Usually itβs the other way around.
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