Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Can you imagine the peace and quiet? Just a flick of a switch and boom – instant silence in a noisy world 🤫 Who needs noise-canceling headphones when you've got hearing aids on standby! 😂"

aid, hearing, hearing aid, joke, off, tired, turn, turn off

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

18 shares on Messenger this month:

GTA6 should have streams and wetlands so we can work to conserve and restore them.

66 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Back to the Future and chill?

55 shares on Facebook this month:

The greatest allies fascism and genocide have are the people who say, “I don’t follow the news, it’s too depressing.”

62 shares on Reddit this month:

Airports are so funny. Like, “Oh, you’re flying across the country? Would you like to hang out in a mall first?”

28 shares on Threads this month:

I’ve accepted I’ll never retire. I’ll be working up until my funeral… probably using a vacation day for it.

31 shares on Discord this month:

Liking someone romantically is actually just a humiliation ritual.

75 shares on Messenger this month:

Me, as a vampire: Tell me, mortal, have you had any alcohol in the last 24 hours?

30 shares on TikTok this month:

My toxic trait is binging a show too fast, then getting sad when I have nothing to watch.

92 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Rule number 1 at a concert: Don’t sing while filming!

46 shares on Pinterest this month:

Yes, I was behind the DJ booth, but only as a cultural anthropologist.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

Love when job applications ask for my desired salary so I can choose between not being hired and being exploited for my work.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

According to a new study, people who often trail off in the middle of a sentence are 30% more likely to

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

Still holding out hope that these intrusive thoughts are just gas.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

Handing the bus driver a $50 bill and telling him “Just drive”.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

My girlfriend wants us to try couples counseling and I said we should use my therapist because he already knows what’s wrong with her.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

A driver that delivers Indian food is called a curryer.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

Unless I ask, I genuinely don’t care to hear other people’s opinions on my life. It’s almost a pet peeve, really.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

Half of Twitter is horny, half is depressed, and the other half don’t know how to do math.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

Any time I throw up, I stare at it like I’m getting a message from the past.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

I am absolutely unstoppable, unless it’s a bit rainy.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Vegan zombies be like: GRAINS!

Freshly posted on Discord:

Just let your girlfriend be crazy, like who cares, bro.

Just shared via Messenger:

At the airport, and a wife asked her husband, “Where are our seats?” and he responds, “In the airplane.”

Shared recently on Facebook:

Rorschach tests are like so easy. Everything’s either a demon or a butterfly and it’s up to you to decide.

Shared recently on Slack:

Country music is for men who need a little help crying.

Spotted on TikTok:

Can we take a moment to celebrate the little ride we get in the pneumatic chair at the hair salon or barber when they pump it up or down?

Shared recently on Instagram:

Welcome to your 40s… you can now use this as an excuse not to help a friend move.

Making waves on Pinterest:

You’re in her DMs. I’m accidentally reposting reels of Tibetan foxes because I don’t know how to use the app anymore.

Just shared via Messenger:

I wonder how much this “Never mind, it’s only 10 bucks” has already cost me?

Trending via Messenger:

90% of the things I worry about never happen. Worrying seems to be working.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I can’t wait til I have hearing aids, so I can just turn them off when I’m tired of hearing everyone.

We should be able to take our arms off when we go to sleep, we have the technology.

Women call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me ugly and poor.

She’s probably just not using her phone right now for the first time ever in her whole life.

You ever wake up from your dreams impressed? Like, damn, that narrative structure was phenomenal.

You look like the kind of person who would hit rock bottom and then start drilling.

My life would be pointless without cheese. Or as the famous song goes: “Ain’t no sunshine when cheese gone!”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I can’t wait til I have hearing aids, so I can just turn them off when I’m tired of hearing everyone.

Keep the laugh going 😂

We should be able to take our arms off when we go to sleep, we have the technology.

Women call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me ugly and poor.

She’s probably just not using her phone right now for the first time ever in her whole life.

You ever wake up from your dreams impressed? Like, damn, that narrative structure was phenomenal.

You look like the kind of person who would hit rock bottom and then start drilling.

My life would be pointless without cheese. Or as the famous song goes: “Ain’t no sunshine when cheese gone!”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨