Trendy Funny Quotes

  • An agenda reveal party, where I surprise everyone with all the things I hope to accomplish this weekend.
  • I just sneezed my wife awake from a nap so any discussion about renewing vows is on hold for a bit.
  • I made up all these romantic scenarios in my brain and you’re not following the script.
  • Apparently, when you treat someone the same way they treat you, they get offended!
  • My 3 weeks without sweets were over after 12 hours. Proof that time runs faster with increasing age.
  • I have this rare skin disease called perfect.