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174 Funny wit quotes

New funny wit quotes 👇

  • Sometimes I wish I had a speed bump between my brain and my mouth.

    Commentary:
    “With my track record, I’d need a whole traffic management system 🤯🛑🚗💬”

  • To bed then. To bed with you! Guards, take him to my bed!

    Commentary:
    “Finally, a royal decree I can get behind… or rather, under the covers! 😂👑🛏️ #NobleNaps #RoyallyTuckedIn”

  • It’s been a pleasure miscommunicating with you.

    Commentary:
    “Let’s do this again sometime… or not! 😂🤷‍♂️ #LostInTranslation #WordFumbles”

  • He called me delusional, but I think he meant delicious.

    Commentary:
    “He must be talking about my sweet personality! 😂🍦 #DeliciouslyDelusional”

  • My favorite hobby is withering away.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the art of disappearing like a forgotten avocado at the back of the fridge! 🥑⏳😂”

  • The clitoris has 8,000 nerves, if you gonna get on my nerves, get on one of those.

    Commentary:
    “Why settle for a nerve-racking experience when you can have a nerve-tingling one instead? 😉😂 #TheGoodNerves”

  • “You like talking to yourself?” God forbid I seek advice from an expert.

    Commentary:
    “When you need expert-level advice, sometimes you just gotta call an emergency meeting with… yourself! 🤔🗣️😂”

  • Maybe the reason you haven’t found your soulmate is because you don’t have a soul.

    Commentary:
    “Plot twist: my soulmate is a ghost and we’ve been playing hide-and-seek forever! 👻🔍💔”

  • Next time you think I am flirting with you, ask yourself if kindness is so rare in your life that you mistake it for desire.

    Commentary:
    “When being nice gets mistaken for a love spell… I guess my Hogwarts letter finally came! 🎩✨😉 #KindnessMagic”

  • Not many things sadder than an untickled fancy.

    Commentary:
    “Guess I have a PhD in Unticklology! 😅🎓”

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