28 funny system quotes - Wordgag

Americans saw water freeze at 0°C and said, “Let’s make that 32.”

May 30, 2026

I saved a ton of money on a security system by stealing my neighbor’s.

May 30, 2026

Call me a glitch, cause I’m definitely messing with your system.

May 30, 2026

Every time I use a Windows computer, it’s like they built malware into the OS. Like, what do you mean there are ads in the start menu?

May 29, 2026

My stomach just made the exact sound of the “your” in “your call has been forwarded to an automatic voice messaging system.”

May 29, 2026

Laying in bed with the nervous system of someone going to war.

May 29, 2026

Sometimes, I feel like my brain is still running on Windows 95.

May 26, 2026

Turns out strange women lying in ponds distributing swords was a better basis for a system of government actually.

May 26, 2026

I don’t have a nervous system, I am a nervous system.

May 25, 2026

I don’t understand why judges get paid so much, others judge me for free.

May 25, 2026

76% of pardoned turkeys end up back in the system.

May 24, 2026

In a parallel universe, Mariah Carey is doing her shopping and is sick of hearing me on every store’s speaker system.

May 24, 2026

On a scale of quack to quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack, what do you think of my duck-based numbering system?

May 23, 2026

Nobody warns you of the devastation two days of stuffing will bring upon your digestive system.

May 23, 2026

Burger King implies the existence of an entire burger based feudal system.

May 23, 2026

My opinion of the American education system is largely based on how many nuggets I get when I order a ten piece.

May 22, 2026

Automated phone system: To speak to a representative, please enter the last twelve digits of Pi.

May 22, 2026

There should be a special rating system for movies that tells you how uncomfortable you’ll be if you watch them with your parents.

May 22, 2026

Yes officer, I’d like to file a restraining order against my dentist’s appointment reminder system.

May 21, 2026

My home security system is just a copy of my paycheck taped to my front door.

May 21, 2026

I miss phone booths. We used to train our immune system in those things.

May 21, 2026

Automated phone system: To speak to a representative, please enter the first twelve digits of pi.

May 21, 2026

Shoutout to drug dealers for teaching the metric system to Americans.

May 21, 2026

My security system is just a bunch of my unpaid bills taped to my front door.

May 20, 2026

Taking screenshots of the screenshots buried in my photo library to ‘bring them to the front.’ It’s not a great system, I admit.

May 20, 2026

My immune system told me it’s a lover not a fighter.

May 20, 2026

Who decided that skeletons are scary? Because honestly, I’d be more scared if the muscular system suddenly walked into my room.

May 19, 2026

I deserve a love so pure that my nervous system can finally rest.

May 19, 2026