My tombstone will read “Hey there, I’m using WhatsApp!”.

78 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The pain of watching a movie with someone who talks a lot.

39 shares on Threads this month:

After an hour on this team meeting I’m not wanting to be a team player anymore.

39 shares on Pinterest this month:

I know it’s traditional to start work at 9, but I think we could lower that age to 8.

95 shares on Snapchat this month:

Goodnight to the men who know one woman is enough. The rest can die.

42 shares on Telegram this month:

Seeing my kids getting along, laughing, and peacefully playing together is the best minute of my day.

15 shares on Threads this month:

Do you use AI, or is the AI using you?

87 shares on Snapchat this month:

I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.

99 shares on Threads this month:

A colon can completely change the meaning of a sentence. For example: Jill ate her friend’s sandwich VS Jill ate her friend’s colon.

73 shares on Instagram this month:

By the time my CVS receipt finished printing, I was eligible for another prescription refill.

29 shares on Twitch this month:

The dumbest thing about YouTube ads is how they seem to think that I’m a moron.