Trendy Funny Quotes

  • Whenever someone tells me how well behaved my kids are, I say it’s cause they’re not at home.
  • Never feel bad when people roll their eyes while you talk to them. They’re just looking for their brain.
  • Dear razor commercials, please stop shaving hairless legs. If you want to impress someone, shave a gorilla.
  • *Googles: How to fake your own death and erase existence before 9am Monday morning.
  • Don’t ever get excited if your kid likes a new food. They won’t like it tomorrow.
  • These weekends are starting to feel as long as a lunch break.