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Commentary:
Oh, so you're the zoo's wild card, huh? 🦁🐒 Better keep a close eye on this one, folks! Don't let them near the keys to the cages or we might have a real-life Animal Kingdom situation on our hands! 🗝️🦓🐍🤪 #AnimalLiberationAtAnyCost

animals, me, release, trust, zoo

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Biting your tongue while eating is a perfect example of how you can still screw up, even with decades of experience.

1 month ago
biting, decades, eating, even, example, experience, humor, lesson, life, life lesson, mistake, perfect, screw, screw up, still, tongue, tongue biting, while
I walked into a holiday party, saw someone else already playing with the dog, and realized they’d stolen my entire social strategy.

1 month ago
activity, dog, else, fun, fun activity, holiday, humor, i, interaction, party, playing, saw, social, social strategy, someone, stolen, strategy
I hate when I lose things at work, like pens, papers, sanity and dreams.

2 months ago
dream, dreams, frustration, hate, humor, i, lose, office, office humor, paper, pen, relatable, sanity, things, work
Saw a guy reading a book and writing notes in it. Not enough words in there for ya, bud?

1 month ago
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I did vote once but only because I thought the line was to a buffet.

1 month ago
buffet, election, humor, i, line, misunderstanding, once, thought, vote
My neighbors were up shouting all night. I could barely hear my bagpipes.

1 month ago
annoyance, bagpipes, hear, humor, i, music, neighbors, night, noise, shouting

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

Warning: People who need to leave their homes today are advised that it is extremely Monday outside this morning.

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Professor, set the time machine for right now. I’m trying to be more present.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

I miss getting my misinformation from less places.

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Fact: Snow in November happens because people decorate for Christmas prematurely. You know who you are. Stop it.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

Prior to the arrival of Paper and Scissors, Rock faced no competition.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

You are the Monday of my life.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

No, he didn’t ghost you, you just left him speechless, forever.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Slack:

Is there really anything worse than being forced to watch a video on someone else’s phone and having to pretend to laugh for 2 minutes?

Trending via Messenger:

Has someone told the whales that they can’t sing?

Shared recently on Twitch:

Don’t know how to explain this, but “hot honey” is the pickleball of condiments (derogatory).

Just shared via TikTok:

Apparently, stress balls are not supposed to be thrown at people who are stressing you out.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Google AI is awesome because it kills the planet and doesn’t work.

Breaking via YouTube:

Gender and sexuality aside, I believe everyone just wants someone who wears short shorts and makes a lot of noise in bed.

Live now on Reddit:

I’ve been locked out of Tinder because of “unusual activity”. I must’ve got a match.

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Activity Log ✨

You cannot trust me at a zoo because I’ll release the animals.

Biting your tongue while eating is a perfect example of how you can still screw up, even with decades of experience.

I hate when I lose things at work, like pens, papers, sanity and dreams.

Saw a guy reading a book and writing notes in it. Not enough words in there for ya, bud?

I did vote once but only because I thought the line was to a buffet.

My neighbors were up shouting all night. I could barely hear my bagpipes.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Milk teeth are wasted on children. A new set of teeth would be a lot more useful when you’re older.

Lady just asked me what “mansplaining” is. I think it’s a trap. We’ve been staring at each other in silence for half an hour.

If I say goodnight and an hour later you see me online, it’s not that I lied; it’s just that I failed.

Whenever I close an app and immediately open it back up, I really feel how dire it all is.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I’m okay with being single. But at night, while I’m drunk, that’s too much.

Got a botched circumcision, now my willy wonka.

Anyone else get excited about going to bed because you know there’ll be coffee in the morning, or is that just me?

The first step is admitting that the other person is the one with the problem.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I hate it when my AirPods die instead of me.

I was going to buy my wife a car for Christmas but then I remembered I don’t live in a commercial.

Flat earth is too mainstream, hollow earth is where it’s at.

Maybe Rome was built in a day. I wasn’t there.

They say it is hard to look at lips that you are not allowed to kiss. You do not know how hard it is to look at a face that you are not allowed to hit.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Netflix be like “we know exactly what movie you talkin’ ’bout but we ain’t got it lol”.

My phone storage is full so I guess it’s time to delete the 27 second video I took of a spiderweb four years ago.

If I was an elephant, you’d all be sorry.

Sending messages is easy. Living with them forever is the hard part.

Why is Saturday over in 7 minutes and Sunday in 4 minutes, but Monday is 84 months long?

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You cannot trust me at a zoo because I’ll release the animals.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Biting your tongue while eating is a perfect example of how you can still screw up, even with decades of experience.

I walked into a holiday party, saw someone else already playing with the dog, and realized they’d stolen my entire social strategy.

I hate when I lose things at work, like pens, papers, sanity and dreams.

Saw a guy reading a book and writing notes in it. Not enough words in there for ya, bud?

I did vote once but only because I thought the line was to a buffet.

My neighbors were up shouting all night. I could barely hear my bagpipes.

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