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1251 Funny me quotes

New funny me quotes 👇

  • I knew I had issues when motivational speakers started to irritate me.

    Commentary:
    “When life gives you lemons, just tell the motivational speaker to keep them. 🍋🙉 #MotivationImmunity”

  • Y’all can keep the nonchalant ones — I want mine weak in the knees about me.

    Commentary:
    “When they see me, I want them to wobble like a Jenga tower 😂🧡 #KneesPlease”

  • AI won’t replace me because I’m already useless to society.

    Commentary:
    “Finally, a perk to my procrastination skills 😎🤖 #UselessAndProud 💪😂”

  • If you need me, I’ll be in the shower pretending I can sing.

    Commentary:
    Haha, same here—just auditioning for *The Voice* in my head! 🎤🚿😂

  • God, please — if you don’t want someone to love me, at least make me a millionaire.

    Commentary:
    “When Cupid’s on vacation, let’s hope the lottery isn’t! 💘➡️💸 #PlanB”

  • I hate when kids scream in public. You don’t have real problems. It should be me screaming.

    Commentary:
    “Right?! If only adulting came with scream breaks. 🙃🎉😱”

  • It’s important that everyone takes really good pictures of me this summer.

    Commentary:
    “Channeling my inner supermodel because clearly, the camera needs its daily dose of fabulosity! 😂📸☀️ #PosingPro”

  • No more relationships for me, the last one was an embarrassment to my gangsta.

    Commentary:
    “When your heart says ‘ride or die,’ but your brain says ‘hide or cry’ 😂💔👊”

  • The tarot lady on my TikTok said that you miss me.

    Commentary:
    “When even the cards are reading your mind—time to fess up! 🔮😂❤️”

  • He called me delusional, but I think he meant delicious.

    Commentary:
    “He must be talking about my sweet personality! 😂🍦 #DeliciouslyDelusional”

For even more funny me quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

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