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Updated: Jun 2, 2026

 

 

 

 

 

93 Funny trust quotes

Funny trust quotes 😂 are the perfect blend of humor and wisdom, offering a chuckle while reminding us of the quirks of human relationships 🤝. These witty gems 💎 capture the delicate dance between faith and skepticism, often revealing truths we didn’t even know we needed to hear. Whether you’re looking to lighten the mood or share a laugh 🤣 with friends, these quotes are sure to hit the right note 🎶 while keeping trust at the heart.

I wouldn’t trust a single one of you with a flying car.

Posted onMay 30, 2026

My only regret is not leaving people alone the first time they moved funny.

Posted onMay 30, 2026

Trust my gut? The thing that can’t even handle milk.

Posted onMay 30, 2026

The Netflix “Recommended For You” list is why I have trust issues.

Posted onMay 30, 2026

Some people come into your life to remind you why you don’t wanna let anyone into your life.

Posted onMay 30, 2026

I just want someone who can see through all my bullshit and hate me for who I really am.

Posted onMay 30, 2026

I only trust people who give off unemployable energy.

Posted onMay 30, 2026

Old people won’t listen to you, but will trust a scam caller with their whole chest.

Posted onMay 29, 2026

I will trust someone on Reddit from 11 years ago with my life before using ChatGPT for anything.

Posted onMay 29, 2026

Believing that pharmaceutical companies want to heal you is like believing a casino wants you to win.

Posted onMay 29, 2026

The problem with relationships these days is you don’t know if you’re the one being cheated on, or cheated with.

Posted onMay 29, 2026

Showing your emotions to the wrong people is like bleeding next to a shark.

Posted onMay 29, 2026

If there’s one thing we can trust, it’s billionaires.

Posted onMay 29, 2026

At this point, if a clown invited me into the woods, I would just go.

Posted onMay 29, 2026

I automatically assume everyone finds me unattractive until they tell me otherwise, and then I assume that they are lying to make fun of me.

Posted onMay 29, 2026

There is no physical evidence to say that today is Tuesday, we all just have to trust that someone kept count since the first one ever.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

I trust an insult more than I do a compliment.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

I don’t trust anyone who gets enraged over messed-up fast food orders.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

Never trust a man that’s good at flirting. He’s had too much practice.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

Dating these days is like trusting a crackhead to come back with your change.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

If a man says “I don’t deserve you,” believe him. Because he is about to show you why.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

Guys will say, “I know a spot,” and then take you on a downward spiral.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

The only way three people can keep a secret is if two of them are dead.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

Just learned in psychology that when a man goes to sleep first, it’s because he’s comfortable around you and wants you to go through his phone.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

Why trust atoms? Because they’ve never been caught fibbing, just fission.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

Pinky promises are still a legit foundation of trust.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

One thing I hate more than a liar is a liar that thinks I’m dumb.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

Group projects taught me how to do everything alone and trust no one.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

You should just baseline mistrust every single politician at every level until they prove themselves worthy of liking.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

Thanks to AI, some of us went from being told by our parents not to trust the internet to having to tell our parents not to trust the internet.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

Betrayal is when you’re holding a baby, and they put their arms out for someone else.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

The only thing you can count on with some people is that you can’t count on them.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

Cheating on a partner should affect your credit score.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

They should invent a man who is being genuine when he says things to me.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

Women who don’t check a man’s phone will still use their intuition and dreams to find out if he’s cheating.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

Your secrets are safe with me. I wasn’t even listening.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

Home is where you trust the toilet seat.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

Never trust a wet fart.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

Parents be like “don’t believe everything you see on the internet” then believe everything they see on Facebook.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

Home is where you trust the toilet seats.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

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