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New funny quotes: 9757 this month

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Updated: May 25, 2026

 

 

 

 

93 Funny trust quotes

Funny trust quotes 😂 are the perfect blend of humor and wisdom, offering a chuckle while reminding us of the quirks of human relationships 🤝. These witty gems 💎 capture the delicate dance between faith and skepticism, often revealing truths we didn’t even know we needed to hear. Whether you’re looking to lighten the mood or share a laugh 🤣 with friends, these quotes are sure to hit the right note 🎶 while keeping trust at the heart.

Are you telling me these billionaires don’t have my best interests at heart?!

Posted onMay 25, 2026

Opening up to people is a scam. Don’t do it.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

Every time you give someone the benefit, they deliver the doubt.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

I’d trust a groundhog over a weatherman any day.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

Hear me out: agenda reveal parties for people we don’t trust.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

Your secret is safe with me because I don’t care.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

Every man’s biggest fear is trying a new barber.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

Trust my gut? The thing that makes weird gurgling noises immediately when a work meeting goes quiet.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

You cannot trust me at a zoo because I’ll release the animals.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

Sometimes I do something completely out of character, like say no to a slice of pizza, or trust someone.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

Don’t tell me to trust my gut. Thats where I put my snacks. Clearly that’s where I’m the weakest.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

The reason I don’t trust polls is because the people being polled are people who willingly answer the phone when an unknown number is calling them.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

Promising I won’t tell anyone your secret doesn’t include my husband. He’s basically my diary.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

Long distance relationships can work if the four of you all truly trust each other.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

So apparently if they ask “do you trust me?”, replying with “well, I trust you to be you” is the incorrect response.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

My bank assures me my money is safe with them, yet they keep their pens chained to desks and most of them are missing.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

Cheers to all who skipped that one dish at Thanksgiving because you just didn’t trust the person who brought it.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

I will never give another woman my heart until I see how she acts when a bee flies at her.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

Betrayal only comes from someone we’re close to. Just like herpes.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

Missionary, so I can look him in the eyes and ask him why Ashley from work is texting him with heart eyes.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

Trust me; this is the second millennium I’ve lived in.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

Trust my gut? The thing that tricks me into buying gas station sushi and roller dogs? No thanks.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

There’s something about Dracula I just don’t trust.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

Mercury is no longer in retrograde, so never trust a cow because the sun can’t swim.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

I need new friends. The old ones know too much.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

Politics top tip: Gain people’s trust by telling them that everyone is lying to them.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

How do I even know this guy is my “boss”? I’ve just been taking his word for it.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

What does my tattoo mean? It means I couldn’t be trusted with $200 when I was 18.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

Worst feeling in the world is when you are loyal to all your girlfriends but your favorite one is cheating on you.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

Your secret is safe with me and my sister.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, I’m never sending you nudes again.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

My wife trusts me with a joint bank account but when I’m loading the dishwasher she always walks in the kitchen “to get something.”

Posted onMay 21, 2026

“You shouldn’t let your cat jump on the counter”, my cat could take out a loan in my name if he wanted to.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

I will never trust a cake transport box enough to just hold it by the handle.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

You guys know your secrets are safe with me. It’s the people I share them with you can’t trust.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

If you shouldn’t go food shopping when you’re hungry, then you should definitely not go clothes shopping when you’re naked. Trust me on this.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

If dogs ever learn to talk, I want everyone to keep in mind that mine is a big fat liar.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

If you’re not in my circle of trust, you’re probably in my triangle of suspicion or rhombus of doubt.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

Garlic and bread is the only marriage I truly have faith in.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Ex’s be like “I gave you everything”. Yeah, trust issues.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

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